Ever Wish you were Nonverbal?

Post Reply New Topic

Wow, I didn’t expect to see this thread pop up again! I still feel pretty much the same as I did when I started the thread two years ago, only more so now because of an interesting experience I had. In January I had surgery to try and repair my left vocal cord, which became paralyzed when I was a newborn due to repeated intubation, necessitated by my very premature birth. After the surgery, I was entirely unable to speak for a good two weeks, and had to use the text to speech app on my tablet full time, including at work. It was frustrating to begin with, because everyone talked too fast for me to keep up with the conversation, but after a while, I relaxed and realised that my inane comments weren’t necessary, and just took up time and air. Once I became comfortable with the quiet, I was able to relax and disappear inside my head for a while, and it was extremely peaceful. I miss that feeling, and often wish I could get it back.

I do, sometimes.

People tend to assume I can do something or that I'm purposely doing something(bad).

It makes me really upset and sometimes wish I couldn't speak or be seen as normal or that I can do things normally.

Sometimes.

I normally can speak okay, but under stress I stop being able too. Many people are confused by that, and being full time nonverbal would likely solve that.

I tend to do what my mom calls, "Word diarrhea". When I cannot stop talking for literally hours, about (literally) anything that pops into my head, generally very repetitive. People, including my family, get very irritated with it very quickly. If I was non-verbal it would solve that too.

I also feel people would take my needs more seriously.

But then again, when I do stop being able to speak, I find it very frustrating. Even when I remember to have something on me to write on, it is very hard to bring attention to it. Being nonverbal would be frustrating for me, even if it would solve other issues.

It’s nice to know I’m not alone sometimes I seriously wish I was nonverbal so I wouldn’t have to deal with certain things like the stress even though I’m a huge talker I really wish I could just become nonverbal cause I feel like I ramble on too much and no matter how hard I try talking to me is kinda one sided cause I always get confused when it’s my turn to talk and some people have been very mean about it to me I think I’m gonna go silent for a few days and see if I feel better maybe I will just stop talking I really don’t feel it would be so bad having to type or sign I already know some sign language enough to get by and what I can’t sign I can type I’m a great speller I can spell anything I’ve been spelling since I was 2.5 years old yet I didn’t read till 4th or 5th grade I could always spell but don’t ask me to read it back cause that part of my brain didn’t click with me now that was hard but I think I may just stop talking at least for a few days see how it goes and how I feel afterwards

I sometimes do, but it's out of hopelessness. I tend to go "non verbal" when I shut down or get overwhelmed. It feels like the connection gets really distant and cold. It feels like dragging something really heavy.

I do often wish I was one of those autistic that don't seek companionship. I mean what's the point of wanting friends if I lack the cognitive empathy to be able to make some? (I'm sorry if I said something ignorant)

Your post, I agree with

But it is not necessary to "wish" to be nonverbal


You can just be nonverbal

Yes I do. On days that I upset people!