The earlier you're diagnosed the better the outcome ?

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I think my mum was disappointed with me being on the spectrum. She was understanding and supportive with me, but secretly she wished I was "normal" like all of her nieces and nephews.

You see, my mum has a sister who has 2 children that are basically me and my brother in a parallel universe. The son is the same age as my brother and the daughter is the same age as me. But both me and my brother have Asperger's that has held us back from being happy and achieving what we could have achieved, and our 2 cousins are both very extroverted NTs with lots of confidence, are both popular and are both into sports, and have well-paid jobs.
And being so my mum has always been close to her sister, it's hard NOT to compare her children to her sister's children. My mum has experienced me and my brother suffer with depression and low self-esteem, while her sister has experienced her children succeed socially, emotionally and academically.
And no, it's not due to "bad parenting", because my parents weren't bad parents. My 2 cousins were just born to be confident, as it's hardwired into their personalities. Me and my brother were born depressives.

Fake. Autism worsens with age

How does autism worsen with age?

It seems to me that my ability to tolerate what I now understand is detrimental to my health has decreased.

But is my neuro-diverse wiring any different? I don't know.

What is worse, parents denying there is a problem with their child , or parents who accept there is a problem , but then have low expectations as to what their child can achieve ?

I thought about this when I started investigating the possibility I was on the spectrum.

I could not decide either way.

I mighf have avoided one or two difficult times because I migjt have had better self knowledge.

I might have ljved down to the label and missed out on some of the su cesses I xid achieve.

I think I would have benefited from knowing the stronv points I had and the blind spots more than I would have bdnefitted from having a label, especially one which would likely be used against me by any bullies.

^ The kids know something is wrong and it is called autism. They know it makes their parents act strangely toward them. They know they have to take "special" classes or treatments.

Firemonkey, I am pretty sure it is worse to have the over-controlling parents. Their never escape.

I was told about my diagnosis straight away, but I was only 8 at the time and wasn't mature enough to handle it. My mum thought it was for the best if I were told rather than keeping it a secret.

It wasn't explained to me in a very accurate way though. Basically the implication was "Asperger's means you don't talk to people properly". It wasn't until I came to WP that I learned more about Asperger's and autism. My mum had a couple of books about it, but it didn't completely explain my experience. It just rambled on about how socially awkward we are, how bad we are at friendships, how brilliant we are at maths and science, etc. This was the 90s though.

I went to mainstream school throughout my whole school life, and I am very thankful that I did, because if I was forced to go to a special school that would have been another thing I'd be ashamed about now and having to lie to everyone and say I was mainstreamed, due to the fear of people assuming I was stupid or something.
So attending the same schools that my NT friends and cousins attended did make me feel normal.

But despite receiving an early diagnosis, I never met another Aspie until I went to college. So all through my school life I felt like I was the only one in the world with Asperger's syndrome. I also believed that every Aspie gets diagnosed at around 7 or 8 years of age like I did. It wasn't until I was about 20 that I found out that like 1 out of 10 Aspies (mild/high-functioning) get an early diagnosis.

^ when the parents are totally incapacitated by alcohol, drugs, mental illness, etc., that is a whole other story. It sounds like hell, and I'm sorry you had to go through that. In that situation, I have no earthly idea how or if early diagnosis would have affected your life.

I was thinking primarily about the high functioning autists who are trapped in their parents' web of dysfunction; parents who continue to push/pull, control, manipulate, dismantle supports for the entire lifetime of the child. I have seen parents in their 70s still controlling their autistic "children."

Some autists don't get a bit of freedom to explore life until their parents die. Sounds harsh, I know.


So that is what I was thinking.

You were under the spell of New Wave then