Not being interested in people online

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r00tb33r
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28 Jan 2021, 2:36 pm

Is it strange to not be interested in meeting and getting to know people online?

Like for example I like this forum as a resource to get a perspective on some aspect of my strange life, but I can't say I'm ever interested in the individual writing the said comment.

I also have a similar problem with maintaining long-distance relationships in general, I lost touch with everyone at school and college soon after leaving.


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kraftiekortie
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28 Jan 2021, 2:40 pm

I don't think it's "strange"---especially if you happen to have friends "in real life."

But I would like someone to be interested in me if I communicate with them in any way.

Does this "disinterest" extend to "real life"?



Clueless2017
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28 Jan 2021, 2:59 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I don't think it's "strange"---especially if you happen to have friends "in real life."

But I would like someone to be interested in me if I communicate with them in any way.

Does this "disinterest" extend to "real life"?

... ... ...
Great follow-up questions...(Thumbs-up)...



Shadow1888
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28 Jan 2021, 3:05 pm

I tend to not be interested in people online myself, unless there they share similar interests. But it is good to talk to people even if i will never meet them in person. I have been here for a few days now and talked to some decent people as i can share a lot of what they experience. as anywhere else i haven't really witnessed that. Its usually a toxic environment.



r00tb33r
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28 Jan 2021, 3:08 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I don't think it's "strange"---especially if you happen to have friends "in real life."

But I would like someone to be interested in me if I communicate with them in any way.

Does this "disinterest" extend to "real life"?

I have none. I reconnected with someone online during the past 3 months but it's hard to describe it as a friendship. It's more of a gauntlet of lukewarm rejection. Uninviting, but also not rejecting outright. This is someone I knew in real life, physical world for ~3 years.

There are a lot of things we would like, but we got what we got. You seem like a great guy, but my heart is positively not in it.

I don't generally have a lot of interest in people, but after they spend a lot of time with me I do get a little more interested. Coworkers for example, I had no interest in people around the office, but over time I learned facts about them that made them more than empty shells to me, and that generated a little more interest. I think this is the best way to describe it.



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28 Jan 2021, 3:17 pm

I'm more wary than anything. This comes from a childhood of being told internet safety stuff year after year at school.


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HeroOfHyrule
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28 Jan 2021, 3:21 pm

I'm probably just as interested in meeting people online than I am in real life. It's actually easier for me to meet and talk to people online, though I still don't always respond well to people I'm not close friends with because I don't know how to talk to them even after probably 11 years of talking to people online. Most of my friendships from age 12 and up have been online friendships.



r00tb33r
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28 Jan 2021, 4:27 pm

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
I'm probably just as interested in meeting people online than I am in real life. It's actually easier for me to meet and talk to people online, though I still don't always respond well to people I'm not close friends with because I don't know how to talk to them even after probably 11 years of talking to people online. Most of my friendships from age 12 and up have been online friendships.


Just curious, were you formally diagnosed? I noticed an odd pattern in your enthusiasm.



Kerch
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28 Jan 2021, 4:30 pm

I always have issues with this sort of thing. It's mostly because I always feel this disconnect so to speak, between me and other people. It sucks. I also have a hard time trusting people, especially online. One minute someone might seem like a nice person you could get along with, but then you talk to them for a little longer or look into their history and they're not the kind of person you thought they were and that always upsets me a bit.



HeroOfHyrule
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28 Jan 2021, 4:52 pm

r00tb33r wrote:
HeroOfHyrule wrote:
I'm probably just as interested in meeting people online than I am in real life. It's actually easier for me to meet and talk to people online, though I still don't always respond well to people I'm not close friends with because I don't know how to talk to them even after probably 11 years of talking to people online. Most of my friendships from age 12 and up have been online friendships.


Just curious, were you formally diagnosed? I noticed an odd pattern in your enthusiasm.

I was assessed twice, once in Kindergarten because I had developmental delays and symptoms my brother with Asperger's has, and once as a teenager. I was almost given a diagnosis the second time but the woman refrained from giving me one, probably because I am female and was assessed not as thoroughly as my brother (my profile says male because I am transgender).

What is odd about my enthusiasm?



r00tb33r
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28 Jan 2021, 4:56 pm

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
r00tb33r wrote:
HeroOfHyrule wrote:
I'm probably just as interested in meeting people online than I am in real life. It's actually easier for me to meet and talk to people online, though I still don't always respond well to people I'm not close friends with because I don't know how to talk to them even after probably 11 years of talking to people online. Most of my friendships from age 12 and up have been online friendships.


Just curious, were you formally diagnosed? I noticed an odd pattern in your enthusiasm.

I was assessed twice, once in Kindergarten because I had developmental delays and symptoms my brother with Asperger's has, and once as a teenager. I was almost given a diagnosis the second time but the woman refrained from giving me one, probably because I am female and was assessed not as thoroughly as my brother (my profile says male because I am transgender).

What is odd about my enthusiasm?

Nevermind, I guess. Some things other than autism are quite treatable.



CockneyRebel
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29 Jan 2021, 12:39 am

I don't think it's strange at all. I have no desire to meet anyone on Facebook. I'm more interested in having online conversations and keeping in touch with friends and family.


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r00tb33r
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16 Feb 2021, 12:13 am

I think I'm warming up to folks here. :P


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autisticelders
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16 Feb 2021, 5:48 am

depends on the person. Just like in real life, I don't find much in common with most people here (except of course the obvious autism)
Once in a while interest will spark if I think I might see a person's point of view over something I am interested in too. It would take many comments and posts where I relate strongly before I would initiate trying to interact with another person online.
If we do get to the point of shared satisfactory interactions, then I do consider them friends.
Long selective process, although I am a person with generally friendly intent.
Fear of rejection is a strong inhibitor and most of us here have plenty of experience with being rejected!
Not being interested in people online is not a strange idea to me.


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BeaArthur
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16 Feb 2021, 11:45 am

I've been online and doing social media for longer than some of you have been alive.

In that time, I have actually met some online people in real life. Some of them were fabulous, but more of them were a big disappointment and not easy to really connect with.

With all that experience under my belt, I just can't be arsed to go to the effort of meeting.


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16 Feb 2021, 3:29 pm

My relationship with the idea of "meeting" people online (and then potentially actually meeting them) has changed a lot over time. I think that evolution has been directly tied to the evolution of my attitude toward potential romantic relationships. These days I just don't think it makes sense for me to even consider one, and my general interest in meeting anyone new is extremely limited. It's not that a relationship was always my end goal when I talked to someone, but I think that desire was the underlying driving force that kept me interested in people at all.

Apparently "26% of adults with Asperger's can be found to meet the criteria for schizoid personality disorder", and I'm in that group. So, not much of a surprise really.

I do still have (and always had) a different type of "interest in people", which is an interest in "figuring them out". So I do pay attention to people individually, and I like or dislike some of them as a result. But I suspect I'm not capable of developing the type of personal attachments that people usually have, for better or worse. If I lost someone that I like and value, I'm sure I might feel somewhat lost, but I can't imagine myself feeling sad over it.


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