ASD & Highly Sensitive Person Question

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blazingstar
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20 Jun 2018, 6:36 am

nick007 wrote:
I scored a 16 on that test but I know I would of scored much higher when I was younger. Being in stressful situations & loud noises at work kind of helped me get used to things; not entirely used to it but more than I was.

I think I understand why you would get need to get tougher with relationships blazingstar. I tend to be a giver & very supportive within my friendships & romantic relationships. I have a strong sense of loyalty & devotion. I was diagnosed as codependent when I started seeing a psychiatrist cuz of a sever depression after my 1st relationship ended. I felt I gave a lot in the relationship & it got to be kind of one-sided after a while. I'm NOT blaming her cuz I kind of let it happen. Then I got upset over it & blamed her at the time which caused lots of problems. I doubt I would be diagnosed as codependent nowadays thou because I grew from the experience & I'm on anxiety & OCD meds so i'm not worrying as much in my current relationship. She has issues that I try my best to be supportive of but I have more than my fair share of issues too & she does alot for me.


Definitely when I was younger, there was also the "co-dependent" issue which was "popular" back then, but I think this is something different and probably for you too. Because it isn't that I feel I have to be needed and a door mat to be a worthwhile human being, it because I really feel the pain of the other person and could see the situation from his/her point of view.


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nick007
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20 Jun 2018, 6:46 am

I was crying alot when I was going through my bad depression liveandrew. Lots of things would trigger it.


blazingstar wrote:
nick007 wrote:
I scored a 16 on that test but I know I would of scored much higher when I was younger. Being in stressful situations & loud noises at work kind of helped me get used to things; not entirely used to it but more than I was.

I think I understand why you would get need to get tougher with relationships blazingstar. I tend to be a giver & very supportive within my friendships & romantic relationships. I have a strong sense of loyalty & devotion. I was diagnosed as codependent when I started seeing a psychiatrist cuz of a sever depression after my 1st relationship ended. I felt I gave a lot in the relationship & it got to be kind of one-sided after a while. I'm NOT blaming her cuz I kind of let it happen. Then I got upset over it & blamed her at the time which caused lots of problems. I doubt I would be diagnosed as codependent nowadays thou because I grew from the experience & I'm on anxiety & OCD meds so i'm not worrying as much in my current relationship. She has issues that I try my best to be supportive of but I have more than my fair share of issues too & she does alot for me.


Definitely when I was younger, there was also the "co-dependent" issue which was "popular" back then, but I think this is something different and probably for you too. Because it isn't that I feel I have to be needed and a door mat to be a worthwhile human being, it because I really feel the pain of the other person and could see the situation from his/her point of view.
It's both for me when it comes to relationships.


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Raymond Ore
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20 Jun 2018, 7:00 am

This is all very confusing, I score high on the 'Highly Sensitive Person' test. Noise affects me a lot. Never heard of Alexithymia so I looked that up and yes total inability to describe my own emotions but I can pick up others emotions easily, no idea what to do with that information though so it looks like I'm not picking it up. I score very high on facial recognition I've tested as a super recogniser. anything to do with visual processing I find easy.
Biggest issue is dealing with people in general especially when I can't see them i.e. on the phone probably a visual thing again.
My automatic coping strategy is to run away which is very unhelpful but I do it before I realise I have and at 58 it's not getting any better!



liveandrew
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20 Jun 2018, 7:02 am

SaveFerris wrote:
liveandrew wrote:
Hi Ferris, I'm back! :)


Hi Andrew , glad to see you back. Hows your climbing going?

I quit a while back. I had problems with a finger and then my daughter gave up to concentrate on 6th form. I do miss it, as you do with any special interest, but it was getting harder and harder to work up the effort to do it (being around people, small talk etc. etc.). I'm back to collecting films and music which is a lot more sedentary but I'm happy with it :)

Did you get your diagnosis? I notice your profile says "Other autism spectrum disorder".


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SaveFerris
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20 Jun 2018, 7:08 am

liveandrew wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
liveandrew wrote:
Hi Ferris, I'm back! :)


Hi Andrew , glad to see you back. Hows your climbing going?

I quit a while back. I had problems with a finger and then my daughter gave up to concentrate on 6th form. I do miss it, as you do with any special interest, but it was getting harder and harder to work up the effort to do it (being around people, small talk etc. etc.). I'm back to collecting films and music which is a lot more sedentary but I'm happy with it :)

Did you get your diagnosis? I notice your profile says "Other autism spectrum disorder".


Sorry to hear about the climbing , I know what it's like to not be able to pursue a special interest due to injury ( it felt like a part of me died :lol: ). I am now a fully paid up member to the spectrum club , I was diagnosed with ASD and as there is no option for that I chose "Other autism spectrum disorder" , under a different diagnostician or in a different country it would be called Aspergers but it seemed wrong for me to tick that box ( just one of my stupid idiosyncrasies:lol: )


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liveandrew
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20 Jun 2018, 7:47 am

SaveFerris wrote:
I am now a fully paid up member to the spectrum club , I was diagnosed with ASD and as there is no option for that I chose "Other autism spectrum disorder" , under a different diagnostician or in a different country it would be called Aspergers but it seemed wrong for me to tick that box ( just one of my stupid idiosyncrasies:lol: )

And that allows me to sneak in two of my interests (films/music) into a single, congratulatory reference: One of us! :)


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20 Jun 2018, 10:17 am

^thanks dude :)


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Nira
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20 Jun 2018, 3:40 pm

SaveFerris wrote:
Thanks for your post Blazing , I have learnt so much about myself via other members here , my self awareness is terrible.

Nira wrote:
Aren't all (or most) people with ASD Highly sensitive?


I dunno , there definitely appears to be a big overlap from the limited knowledge I have
My knowledge are too limited. When I read about HSP, it came to me similar - like part of ASD. Maybe better question is who has ASD and isn't HSP?


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starcats
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20 Jun 2018, 4:47 pm

I think they're the same thing. Potato, potahto. Elaine Aaron denies any connection between HSP and autism, but maybe she should do research from our perspective, not the diagnosis criteria from psychologists or hollywood stereotypes. I would hazard a guess that HSP is a nice way to explain the inner experience whereas autism is a way for others to describe how they see us. 20% of the population, yes I agree. If you counted everyone who was born before 1980, and people who can mask really well but still feel different inside, and people who just consider themselves severely introverted because they don't know what autism is, sure, they could equal that many people. Whichever way you find to define yourself that makes sense to you is what you would call it.



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20 Jun 2018, 11:49 pm

I think HSP doesn't include problems with communication and with with establishing relationships.


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28 Jan 2022, 7:56 pm

I've scored 26/27 and I get so overwhelmed by other people's feelings that I don't even realize that there not my own. I feel everything, all the time and I struggle with agoraphobia. I don't have alexithymia but when I get overwhelmed by my own emotions I withdraw and I'm unable even to identify them. I become numb and need time to disassociate from my emotions in order to rationally reconnect and eventually being able to feel them.



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28 Jan 2022, 8:44 pm

Scored a 20.

The only ones I probably never answered is either to do with pain, fear or startling.

Nira wrote:
Aren't all (or most) people with ASD Highly sensitive?

Not really.

There's the difference between sensitive from intolerant.

Sensitive is stress prone due to intensity and quantity which meant needing more processing power, accumulative and ​sensing subtleties.

Intolerant is instant trigger like reactive, almost no different from intense dislike or phobia regardless of sensory intensity and quantity.

And, there is such thing as hyposensitivity in autism


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Nemesis2k7
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30 Jan 2022, 2:51 am

i am sensitive. epescially to bullies, and when people say ignorant things, it riles me. cannot stand ignorance at all. especially when its wilfull. makes me angry. it makes my nervous system really irritated. and i get pressure in my head



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30 Jan 2022, 7:22 am

I'm sensitive, probably because of how I've been treated in the past by so-called "friends". Also sensitivity runs in my family.

It's hard to snap out of being sensitive, and getting cliches thrown at you doesn't help (although people throwing cliches at you do mean well but it's still annoying). I find it difficult to ignore and "rise above" things. If a bunch of teenagers were yelling insults across the street at me, I cannot ignore them. It makes me think that they're doing it because I look stupid or weird, and it reminds me of my high school days when I got treated like that by kids. As an adult I should have more respect from younger people.

I hate it when people tell me "stand up for yourself, if they don't like it then they weren't friends in the first place". I just hate that and it's not always easy to think like that. In the NT world it's sometimes easier to be friends with people than not, and I totally understand that. Try telling a young person "if your friends offer you a cigarette just say no, and if they make fun then they aren't true friends anyway. Find other friends." It's just not that simple, unless you don't feel many emotions or you prefer to be alone or you can make the right friends really easily.
I'm extremely sensitive to social rejection because it feels like my teenage years are coming back to haunt me, and it's hard to just tell myself "oh well, I didn't want to be friends with them anyway, they're not worth knowing", because it goes more deeper than that. That frame of mind might work with an extroverted, thick-skinned NT with no PTSD problems, but not with me. I'm not thick-skinned at all. Sorry.


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Nemesis2k7
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30 Jan 2022, 7:31 am

Joe90 wrote:
I'm sensitive, probably because of how I've been treated in the past by so-called "friends". Also sensitivity runs in my family.

It's hard to snap out of being sensitive, and getting cliches thrown at you doesn't help (although people throwing cliches at you do mean well but it's still annoying). I find it difficult to ignore and "rise above" things. If a bunch of teenagers were yelling insults across the street at me, I cannot ignore them. It makes me think that they're doing it because I look stupid or weird, and it reminds me of my high school days when I got treated like that by kids. As an adult I should have more respect from younger people.

I hate it when people tell me "stand up for yourself, if they don't like it then they weren't friends in the first place". I just hate that and it's not always easy to think like that. In the NT world it's sometimes easier to be friends with people than not, and I totally understand that. Try telling a young person "if your friends offer you a cigarette just say no, and if they make fun then they aren't true friends anyway. Find other friends." It's just not that simple, unless you don't feel many emotions or you prefer to be alone or you can make the right friends really easily.
I'm extremely sensitive to social rejection because it feels like my teenage years are coming back to haunt me, and it's hard to just tell myself "oh well, I didn't want to be friends with them anyway, they're not worth knowing", because it goes more deeper than that. That frame of mind might work with an extroverted, thick-skinned NT with no PTSD problems, but not
with me. I'm not thick-skinned at all. Sorry.


when people say simple and direct comments like "find more friends" "or just dont worry"etc..and other similar comments, they are letting you know, they dont give a rats. its not happening to them, so its not a problem. i find, when it does happen to them , they are the first ones to complain. double standards. people who give you a hard time, try to control you, laugh at you, put you down, are not your friends. they are pathetic. had that done to me my whole life. and then the ignorant pigs have the audacity to wonder why you are so angry and sensitive. people should have to make ammends and face up to their nastiness and ignorance. not just sweep it under the rug.



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30 Jan 2022, 12:22 pm

Nemesis2k7 wrote:
i am sensitive. epescially to bullies, and when people say ignorant things, it riles me. cannot stand ignorance at all. especially when its wilfull. makes me angry. it makes my nervous system really irritated. and i get pressure in my head
I think people in general including myself are very ignorant. The social problems us Aspies tend to have are often thought to be ignorance or worse by lots of others. I think arrogance is a lot worse than ignorance. Some intellectuals believe that they are better than others because they are smarter but they are NOT as smart as they think they are. If they really were that smart, they would not have social problems & would be very powerful in society. They would know how to get others to accept them & listen to them. I'm NOT saying your like that Nemesis but that is a tend I have noticed.



Nemesis2k7 wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
I'm sensitive, probably because of how I've been treated in the past by so-called "friends". Also sensitivity runs in my family.

It's hard to snap out of being sensitive, and getting cliches thrown at you doesn't help (although people throwing cliches at you do mean well but it's still annoying). I find it difficult to ignore and "rise above" things. If a bunch of teenagers were yelling insults across the street at me, I cannot ignore them. It makes me think that they're doing it because I look stupid or weird, and it reminds me of my high school days when I got treated like that by kids. As an adult I should have more respect from younger people.

I hate it when people tell me "stand up for yourself, if they don't like it then they weren't friends in the first place". I just hate that and it's not always easy to think like that. In the NT world it's sometimes easier to be friends with people than not, and I totally understand that. Try telling a young person "if your friends offer you a cigarette just say no, and if they make fun then they aren't true friends anyway. Find other friends." It's just not that simple, unless you don't feel many emotions or you prefer to be alone or you can make the right friends really easily.
I'm extremely sensitive to social rejection because it feels like my teenage years are coming back to haunt me, and it's hard to just tell myself "oh well, I didn't want to be friends with them anyway, they're not worth knowing", because it goes more deeper than that. That frame of mind might work with an extroverted, thick-skinned NT with no PTSD problems, but not
with me. I'm not thick-skinned at all. Sorry.


when people say simple and direct comments like "find more friends" "or just dont worry"etc..and other similar comments, they are letting you know, they dont give a rats. its not happening to them, so its not a problem. i find, when it does happen to them , they are the first ones to complain. double standards. people who give you a hard time, try to control you, laugh at you, put you down, are not your friends. they are pathetic. had that done to me my whole life. and then the ignorant pigs have the audacity to wonder why you are so angry and sensitive. people should have to make ammends and face up to their nastiness and ignorance. not just sweep it under the rug.
I found people said cliches to me because they were frustrated with me complaining & wanted me to shut up about it. There are def major double standards with this stuff. I was often told to stand up to bullies when I was a kid but trying to stand up for myself got me bullied even more & got me in more trouble with my teachers & principles. If I told on a bully I would get told how it was friendly teasing or I would get in trouble for lying. But if I said or did something trying to joke around or I was standing up for myself I would get in trouble for being a bully. Looking back it kinda seems like people wanted me to stand up for myself so I would get in trouble. One IEP thing when I was in elementary school mentioned they thought I had Oppositional Defiant Disorder but I actually sometimes have a hard time standing up for myself. When it comes to friendships & romantic relationships, I'm loyal to a fault & can have a hard time saying No. I know very well that I have lots more problems than most people & others find me very hard to deal with me sometimes so I try to compensate. My workplace reviews mentioned that I was very eager to please management. That rep caused me to get taken advantage of & I was expected to work harder than lots of others & eventually I reached my breaking point & was forced to quit. I often tried to stand up for myself as a kid when I was in trouble for something that I felt was not my fault. I tried to argue with logic & poke holes in the story & I also used black & white thinking. "X was OK yesterday or X was OK when so-&-so did it so I should not be in trouble for X" I was often told that I should be a lawyer or I would make a good lawyer by adults who were frustrated with me when I was arguing. That along with me not understanding the rules & having problems following certain rules cuz of my various issues as well as others lying on me & me having a bad rep, probably caused me to have the ODD suspicion by paraprofessionals. My mom suspected me of being autistic since I was a toddler but the so-called professionals didn't listen. These days I tend to stand up for myself or stand up for my girlfriend when I feel we're getting screwed over. I try to be polite & nice about it at 1st but LOTS & LOTS of people these days have jobs that they are incompetent at or just don't give one sh!t about doing right & then they get mad at you because you had the audacity to actually expect them to do the job they were hired to do correctly. That's when I get mad & argumentative.

I always had few friends & in some ways I think I'm better off not having many. Being social is draining & keeping a distance prevents me from caring & feeling bad for others. I still feel bad when I see others suffering/hurting & getting screwed over & have bad things happening to em but I can accept that there is not much I can do about it & not dwell on it much. Whereas if they're my friends, I would feel a lot worse about it & I would try to help if I had an idea of how to. I do sign lots of online petitions & write lots of emails/online letters to politicians for various issues & I have tried to offer advice & support on this forum & other forums in the past but I kinda accept that's the most I can realistically do. I still care & feel bad but I know there is not much else I can do. The state of world affairs these days is a major reason I'm misanthropic rite now. I see the hew-mons hating & blaming each other & harming each other & the environment & animal life instead of trying to get along & work together to solve our problems & it makes me ashamed & disgusted with the hew-mon race as well as myself because me being alive is making the planet worse by my carbon footprint, eating food, using technology & utilities.


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