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Your biggest pet peeves when it comes to ASD stereotypes

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SkinnyElephant
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02 Apr 2023, 5:58 pm

Aspinator wrote:
Because a lot of ASD people are not married; (even though a lot of neurotypicals are not either) we are labeled as sexual deviants


Good point.

When a neurotypical isn't married, they're seen as cool (example: Charlie's character on Two And A Half Men)

When we're not married, it's assumed there's something wrong with us (sexual deviant among other stuff)



SkinnyElephant
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02 Apr 2023, 6:03 pm

Elgee wrote:
Aspinator wrote:
Because a lot of ASD people are not married; (even though a lot of neurotypicals are not either) we are labeled as sexual deviants


I've never been married. I used to think it was because I was too weird for a man to be interested in me. Never even had a serious relationship. After my diagnosis last year, I NOW know the reason I never found the "right" man: Not because I'm too weird, but because I had always looked in the WRONG population: Neurotyps.

People might view me as a spinster, but in fact, I'd been looking in the wrong demographic. Now that I know I'm autistic, I should sign on with an autistic dating site, right???? W R O N G.

Too late. At my age, the only men who could ever be interested in me (autistic or NT) would be too old, way too old. I can't help this. I can never be attracted to a man my own age, let alone older. Completely off the table.

So I'll be going through the rest of my life with people thinking something was wrong with me because I never married (this happens to NT women, too, who never married). But if people ask why I never married (a really, really stupid question that only NTs would ask), I'll tell them I'm autistic. That should instantly shut 'em up. Hopefully they won't then suggest I join an autistic dating site. If they do, I'll then say, "Yeah, right, like a 30-year-old man is gonna be interested in ME."


Without knowing your exact age, I can still give the general advice of: Don't be so sure a younger man wouldn't be into you.

When I was 23, I dated a 45 year old woman. I'm currently 31 (which means she'd be 53). I'd totally get back together with her if the opportunity arose.



SendInTheClowns
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02 Apr 2023, 6:34 pm

My biggest is this dichotomy: AS people = routinely depicted by their challenges while NTs are routinely depicted by their appitudes.

Secondly: I think that the NT addiction to small talk is an NT form of stimming. The narrative is of course that only AS people stim because NTs are "normal", so they don't stim because stimming is a weird behaviour only autistic people do...

Autistic behaviour is routinely stereotyped as "odd" - whatever it is, because the gatekeepers (academics, therapists et al) benefit from the reinforcement of division.

The labelling of AS people as "weird, strange" is an habitual and dominant narrative. I think most people in different ways are strange and weird to varying degrees...

PS I'd (! !!) love to see NT people offered therapy for their small talk stimming addiction so they could learn to enjoy the pleasures of real conversation :)



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02 Apr 2023, 7:03 pm

ASPartOfMe wrote:
That the main stereotypes are the opposite of each other. Either we are "ret*ds" or socially awkward geniuses. That is what my signature is about.

That people conflate disability with inability.

Exactly, this would be for me too.
But expectations to be NT-like are also just not fair.


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Elgee
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03 Apr 2023, 6:29 pm

SendInTheClowns wrote:

Secondly: I think that the NT addiction to small talk is an NT form of stimming. The narrative is of course that only AS people stim because NTs are "normal", so they don't stim because stimming is a weird behaviour only autistic people do...

PS I'd (! ! !) love to see NT people offered therapy for their small talk stimming addiction so they could learn to enjoy the pleasures of real conversation :)


THIS IS HILARIOUS!! But when I think about it, it's so true! Small talking all the time is their version of self-regulation!! ! It keeps them balanced and focused, in check, so to speak.