Who is the Best Neurotypical You've Met?

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JosetteJoy
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21 Dec 2023, 5:32 pm

Have you met a neurotypical who just got you and knew just what to do to make you comfortable? What did they do?


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ToughDiamond
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21 Dec 2023, 5:54 pm

Hard to say because I'm wary of diagnosing a neurotypical as such, and I don't think I've ever met anybody who really got me or knew what to do to make me comfortable.

The one I remember best was just another member of a youth club. He didn't know me very well at all, but he was just a very friendly, inclusive guy. While other members usually formed little exclusive cliques and pretty much ignored me, he noticed that I was trying to join the small group he was talking with, and added me to the people he was making eye contact with as he spoke. Nobody else had bothered to do that for me. I guess he must have been NT or he wouldn't have been able to do eye contact so well, but he was also a good one because he chose to be generous with his friendship. I wasn't very aware of the significance of eye contact at the time, but for whatever reason, just that little bit of glancing at my face and smiling genuinely instead of turning his back meant a lot to me.



Edna3362
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21 Dec 2023, 7:30 pm

That varies. On which aspect?

The closest might be my sped teacher... Too close.
To a point that we've reach each other's limit.
Really. To a point it's no longer healthy for the both of us. We both need to move on.


... Then probably the at least 3 secretaries at work. Closest thing I'd feel an 'equal' than something else.

First was the first one I've met at work.
The second one was the best secretary the boss ever had, with highest paying rate.
The third one was the current secretary now.


The rest are probably people I've met online;
Some I'm not sure if they're NT. I'm certain not all of them are actually NT.

There's one I admire and love like a brother.
He's likely an NT -- a decent gamer, a business person IRL.
He doesn't even need to know about autism and my circumstances, he doesn't have to 'accomodate' me. I'm just comfortable around him like how I'm comfortable around my online besties; in which, are, most likely ND themselves.


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DuckHairback
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21 Dec 2023, 8:14 pm

I've met a few people who were just uncommonly and genuinely empathetic, easy going, interested and interesting. Just lovely humans without a hint of cynicism.

I went to one of these peoples houses once and, i really don't know how they'd done it but i just instantly felt relaxed, almost as if i were in my own home. It was a combination of the home itself and the people in it. It was delightful and i told them so.

The trouble is with those people is that they are unfailingly very popular and hard to get close to because they have a lot of demands on their time.

I know I'm not an easy person to be around so i don't blame them for choosing to spend their time elsewhere.


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old_comedywriter
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21 Dec 2023, 8:23 pm

My late wife. She also could be the worst NT sometimes.

I sometimes referred to her as "severely NT."


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21 Dec 2023, 9:00 pm

My sister, because she stood up for me one time.


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ToughDiamond
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22 Dec 2023, 12:10 am

DuckHairback wrote:
I've met a few people who were just uncommonly and genuinely empathetic, easy going, interested and interesting. Just lovely humans without a hint of cynicism.

I went to one of these peoples houses once and, i really don't know how they'd done it but i just instantly felt relaxed, almost as if i were in my own home. It was a combination of the home itself and the people in it. It was delightful and i told them so.

The trouble is with those people is that they are unfailingly very popular and hard to get close to because they have a lot of demands on their time.

I know I'm not an easy person to be around so i don't blame them for choosing to spend their time elsewhere.

That reminds me somewhat of my friendship with a guy who was similarly great at making people feel at home. People who knew him said they felt guilty visiting him because he was such a good host to them. He somehow knew how to bring people to life. He had a definite cynical edge though, not that he often applied it to his chosen friends, only to opponents and politics. Very bright and able.

We all looked up to him, and it came as a huge shock when he committed suicide. It seems that the self-confidence and strength he displayed had been a convincing veneer and that deeper down he felt like more and more like a failure over time. He can't have had any idea how well he came over to other people. We'd never suspected he needed any reassurance.



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22 Dec 2023, 3:09 am

that's hard to tell, people don't walk around with labels
the old saying goes "have you ever met a normal person?"

maybe the kids KG teacher, she saw something in me and encouraged me to participate, as they do in the netherlands; parents helping with all sorts of things in little groups, reading, computer, crafts, etc, ofcourse the 'big events' speak to most parents (not me)
i even got on the schoolboard (association, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maatschap ... t_Algemeen)
but close-up, would that very very experienced and heartful teacher even be normal?



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22 Dec 2023, 3:52 pm

I love my sister. She's a very nice lady and she is a lady.


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renaeden
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23 Dec 2023, 3:51 am

I volunteer at a Salvation Army second hand store and I've never met so many nice people in one place before. The boss is very cool and treats me like an equal. She doesn't pressure me to work at the till like the old boss did. No one there knows I'm autistic but they know that I like to do a certain job and that I'm good at it.

This is a good thread. :D



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23 Dec 2023, 8:41 am

There is a such a person.

My girl friend. Long time sorta friend sorta girlfriend.

She has the mind of therapist and understands me a certain way others dont.

Its not all good though. Had a recent "mid life crises" unhappiness when I realized how much I rely on her alone for friendshsip. hard to explain.



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23 Dec 2023, 9:07 am

There's also my childhood friend neighbors...

Maybe I could reconnect with them again someday.
Just as long as they don't see my mom -- that would bring them bittersweet memories.

We didn't see each other since I've been dealing with my own crap, and then they moved out...


Who else?
I might've forgotten and recall later.
Maybe not.


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JamesW
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23 Dec 2023, 3:10 pm

Absolutely yes. He was my team manager at a tech company I worked at for many years. His teenage son has an Asperger's diagnosis. He just knew exactly what I needed in a workplace. He was a big part of my inspiration to start learning about autism and to finally seek my own diagnosis. We're still friends today.


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23 Dec 2023, 4:31 pm

I have met the occasional NT who seems more friendly towards ND's than the average, but never anyone who has really stood out in any positive way.



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23 Dec 2023, 5:38 pm

Ken


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