Can you tell the difference between teasing and an insult?

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I'd modify that somewhat, and say that as an autistic person I can't always tell the difference between teasing and the truth (whether it's an insult or not).

This can have pretty horrible consequences. There was a kid at school who was, in the argot of the time, 'weirder' than me. One day a bunch of kids told him he'd been picked for the school football team. He put his kit on and went out onto the pitch. He got mercilessly bullied, of course. A few weeks later he tried to commit suicide by hanging himself in the woods. Happily some kids out jogging found him just in time and cut him down. He never came back to that school.

Sometimes I can tell but not always. It has to be very obvious for me to be able to tell.

^Likewise, I often end up at a disadvantage because I fight back too late.

Sometimes, I try to give the benefit of the doubt though.

Also, I've found if you laugh off (or even play along with) genuine insults sometimes the other party gets frustrated because you're not bothered. You can also rip into them while still acting like you're just playing which can sometimes serve as a warning to not make me have to acknowledge that it's not a joke and not intended as playful.

I got it wrong at least once, though it was a complaint rather than an insult. A few people at work were telling me that my lab coat looked scruffy, and as they were smiling about it I thought they were teasing, so I "hit back" in an equally teasy way. Soon afterwards, the boss told me there had been complaints about my lab coat. The root cause of the problem was that they were mixing laboratory work with clerical work in the same room, so it was solved when they stopped that unsafe practice.

More on topic, a guy in a band I was in sometimes put my back up. We heard a recording of our performance in which I'd messed up a note, and he kept teasing me about it, so I said "No, that was you." It was a lie, but it was impossible to know that from the recording. Anyway it stopped him. I still don't know whether he was trying to upset me or not. I doubt he knows either. They say there's many a true word spoken in jest, and he might have been using "friendly teasing" as a cloak for mild abuse. But for some reason it pissed me off, so I felt the need to hit back. The beauty of it was that whichever it was, my response was appropriate. If it was abuse, I put him in his place. If it was friendly teasing, I played the game with him and strengthened our bonds. It was very lucky that I'd stumbled on a strong comeback line.

I tried teasing another musician friend when he changed a song to a lower key. I said "How could you stoop so low?" His face went extremely red. I've never been able to understand why. I guess I accidentally touched a nerve. I was very surprised. Maybe he was very sensitive to accusations of moral turpitude. We still get on well, but I wish I'd never said it.

Apparently it's hard for NTs to tell the difference too:

A lot of teasing is ambiguous. It can be difficult to tell whether a tease is pro-social or antisocial (or somewhere in between), even when the teaser thinks that his or her intent is clear.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... go-too-far

intuition development ....... for some people it starts earlier than others....tough times for Aspies....

It's rarely difficult for me to tell, but I think that's because teasing is a VERY central part of the way my family interacts, so I've been constantly exposed to it my whole life. What's harder for me is to make it clear when I'm teasing other people, since I pretty much have the same facial expression and tone of voice all the time. People don't usually think I'm insulting them, they just get confused and I have to explain I'm teasing, which kind of ruins the point.

Absolutely took many many years to get to the point where.Could ,ad lib, mimic ..express, looked in the mirror
everytime , i got in the bathroom to use it, and took a minute to practice facial expressions in the mirror before leaving! .Literally learning to exercise the right muscles in my face , to try to make expressions.. usually, using eyebrows then sides of the mouth, to make a smile.. Learned the eyes are suppose to squint alittle , when you make a smile type of muscles in the mouth. Just everytime , i thought of it . It is very mechanical, but it served me.. to learn to practice
these things .
Almost like acting , then you match expressions to what might fit for the conversation..I spent alot of years just not talking much but practicing some "mirroring ", others expressions as best as I could , It drains spoons . But it
occassionally seemed it gained me . To avoid threatening appearance in conversations , And once in a while just offered a comment , without expecting a response, but. said with a smile . After a long time some of it became automatic
. Expressions , unless surprised,by someone . But then can do a deadpan face with No effort.
As if someone might of accidentally have said something,i could take wrong ....???
Like everything else if you want to develop even little muscles, it takes working them out. !
(( practice smiling everytime you step through any doorway. )). it will feel silly but if you practice it ,when going into soneones house or any store. However breifly , Helps you practice ,even if noone sees you. If it gets automatic ..people seem to respond better to the person smiling . .. No guarrantee 100% of the time but , its nicer to NOT appearing neutral or threatening. To help others relax around you too.... And even if you know better than someone else or think your input might be valuable...it might not be welcome. Some NTs just like to babble, I think.