Faking autism and Faking aspergers

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I tried not to go to doctors, or limit myself to one appointment every two or three years as one doctor implied that I may have been a hypercondriact as I saw him about twice a year trying to work out what the partial shutdowns were. His thoughts were along the lines that I could be making it all up? Then he prevented me from having any appointments which the feeling was mutual so for years, even when I had to leave jobs because I could not get doctors sick notes, I would rather lose my job then see a doctor. It has taken great faith to see them since I changed doctors a few years ago, and these doctors are brill. They want me in once every six months for a blood pressure check as it was high once... (They had me wear this adget to monitor me 24 hours and as I hated wearing the gadget my blood pressure was up high for a start. With the previous drs, they told me to eat as much junk food as I can as my blood pressure had been too low, so for years I tried my est even though I didn't know what junk food was... But in those days I was cycling 150 to 250 miles a week. The issue was shutdowns. They thought it was too low blood pressure because I happened to have a heart rate of 60 at rest and a low blood pressure to match.

Ive been faking being NT all of my life. I wasn't actually diagnosed until a few years ago.

But now you (the person who started the thread eleven years ago) tell me that folks fake having autism/aspergers?

So if I go around drawing to attention to what I really do have - I would get the same benefits that these folks who fake having it get?

What ARE these benefits?

Will I suddenly become popular, rich, and famous if go around advertising that I am on the spectrum?

Super Aspie powers like photographic memory and high intelligence. Ignoring people that are not worthy of your time.

Aspergers was identified in 1947. This means it existed for years before it was identified. Psychiatry has only been a legitimate science since the late 1800's. (Before that they were basically prison wardens). Every person with Aspergers before about the 1980's 1990's did not get any kind of "treatment" whatsoever unless they were profoundly Autistic in which case they were in special education. Schools did not identify students for potential learning issues, or social issues before the past 20-30 years. Before that, if you had Aspergers you were just kicked out, called a loner, and if you could not get your stuff together would be a grocery clerk for the rest of your life (or some other job that did not demand human contact).

So, were all those undiagnosed people "faking it?" I think what you should think of is that it is more widespread than is actually known, and many people do not have a cut and dried "diagnosis" because as many have said, it is expensive. Poor people -- if they have insurance, often have insurance that does not include psychiatric or sociological diagnoses. You also need people who knew you in the past. What if you had child abusers for parents? What if your parents did not care? There are more people with Aspergers now because they are diagnosing it more often. Back when I was a kid no parent would have taken their kid to a sociologist to be diagnosed as anything. There was a stigma. If kids did not look into your eyes when you talked you'd slap them in the face or something (the same thing would happen if you rolled your eyes or smirked). That was what "used" to happen.

I also do not see why the "us against them" the "true aspies" vs "the fake aspies" should be an issue. Why create walls? Maybe aspergers is a normal state? They did alright without diognoses prior to 1947.

As someone brought up why would you fake something like this? In your life maybe it causes people to have more sympathy for you, but most people don't get much sympathy because they can't do normal expected things. In a job, you'd get fired. You don't actually GET anything for Aspergers.

I’ve spent a long time wondering if I was “faking it.” Not just autism — but everything. Friendships. Fitting in. Even surviving. I was diagnosed last autumn, fairly late in life, after years of suspecting but never quite having the right words or timing to ask for help. It took a long time to even believe the diagnosis was real — imposter syndrome doesn’t vanish the day you’re handed a label.

But that’s the thing, right?
I don’t really like labels — unless we’re talking independent record labels.

Still, in this society — this system — labels are often the only way anyone takes your struggle seriously. They’re the barcode that lets you through the till. And when you don’t have one, or you get it too late, people tend to treat your pain as personality. Your weirdness as wilful. Your confusion as aggression.

I've been revisiting old videos I backed up privately to YouTube — footage with people I once considered friends, even family. Most of them are gone now. Some died. Most disappeared through either their problems or mine. It’s surreal, watching versions of myself trying to belong in places I never really fit — surrounded by people I now realise may have been “faking it” in their own ways. Frenemies, mostly. Folks who smiled in daylight and sharpened knives in group chats.

I’ve had friends who got diagnosed young, and I noticed something strange: when they acted hostile or bitter, people gave them a pass — “He’s autistic, that’s just how he is.” But when I did the same, or even something less intense, it was “You need to grow up,” or “You’re toxic.” Funny how the same label gets interpreted differently depending on when it enters the conversation.

One of those guys lost someone really important when he was young, and I often thought his behaviour had more to do with trauma than autism. But I’m not a psychologist. I’ve seen psychologists, trained briefly in peer counselling as a teenager (look up Harvey Jackins if you’re curious), and I know enough to know that pain wears a lot of masks — and not everyone gets to take theirs off.

I’m not saying everyone who doubts me is wrong. I'm just saying that doubting myself became second nature — and that might be the most exhausting part of late diagnosis. You spend decades trying to blend in, trying to avoid being “too much” or “too intense” — and when you finally do get clarity, you find out some people still don’t buy it. As if there's a right and wrong way to be neurodivergent.

Sometimes I feel like my whole life was me trying to be acceptable to people who were barely holding themselves together. And now that I’ve stopped chasing their approval, I find myself gravitating to forums like this — not because I want pity or validation, but because I prefer to be amongst you than the normies. Even if some of you don’t see me as “one of you,” that’s okay. I know enough now to know I’m not faking it. I’m just surviving it.

And I get why some people mask. I get why some people fake it so well they lose sight of who they are underneath. That’s not manipulation — that’s adaptation. If the world was a bit softer, a bit slower, a bit less obsessed with “functioning,” maybe we’d all feel safer being real.

So no, I’m not faking it. I’m just trying to figure out what parts of me were me all along — and which parts were costumes stitched together to avoid exile.

If you’re reading this and still unsure about your own mask, your own place on whatever spectrum someone else drew — I sees ya. Whether or not anyone else does.

Nice one.

I've been accused of faking autism online before, which really hit a raw nerve because they knew how much stress and trauma I had gone through when being diagnosed, and to falsely go around accusing me of lying about it was really uncalled for. Yes I'm hoping that I was misdiagnosed, but whatever, the diagnosis still all happened and I am not lying about it. No way am I. I just get confused sometimes because I was diagnosed with Asperger's but then later on another doctor said I'm PPD-NOS, then I thought that was the same as BAP, so I kind of identified with that, not knowing that it's apparently not a thing in my country. I don't know, do I? I'm no doctor, and I can call myself what I like without being called a liar or an imposter in such an aggressive way. I don't know why it matters to them anyway, we don't need to always be 100% honest online, do we? I mean it's not like I'm spouting out lies that contradict or make me seem fake.

A lot of people, including my wife for fifteen years, thought I was on the autism spectrum.
Including someone who worked at a mental health institution for dangerous people who had to be locked up.

Turns out that I'm most likely Transgender and Intersex.
My socialization difficulties are the result of not giving off the right cues for my birth sex!
I have little difficulty socializing if I present as the "opposite sex" so everything matches.
Voice, body size and shape, mannerisms, walking, and so on.

Yes have had some rather devious but intelligent person, advised me that they believed they were on the AS spectrum.
And after he took me for most all the nice things I owned and much money . He then introduced me to another person who claimed to be a professional, but after extended obvservation , She outright appeared to be a professional Meth head. by all outward experiences by the time . I got myself free of them.

@autism0

Thank you for the post autism0,

I think as many of us have been 'accused' of faking our autism by NT peers, this is a topic that brings out many emotions. As I myself had to prove myself via diagnosis from 2 different clinics before my family started to believe my diagnosis, even now they fail to make 'allowances' for it, and statements as "you were able to handle it before your diagnosis and should be able to do so ow as well." are to this day proof of this.

What I see in your description is someone who is indeed fooling themselves, or the world and as stated in my experience this does not hold up for long. Do there exists conmen/women that attempt scenario's as the one you described; of course. And this is the only justification possible I see for this behavior; a con. For even say someone suffering from a mental condition that has no clear or easy diagnosis; they will not feel at easy within the ASD space as our DSM definition is broad in symptomology but very limited in type.

Kind regards,
Kada