17 Jun 2025, 5:17 pm
Grad0507 wrote:
This is why I prefer working with men. When I worked with mainly women, they put me in a performance plan thing because I didn’t know the unspoken rules. Also, in my most recent job, I was confronted over not knowing unspoken rules near the end instead of them explaining it to me at the beginning. The “assume” word was used a lot by the NTs. I was not happy about it.
YES - THIS. I got the "assume" word, or variants thereof, on SO many occasions at more than one job. I got "you have a tendency to make assumptions" on a performance improvement plan, without any elaboration.
I certainly didn't feel like I was assuming...at least not recklessly... I was just acting on my instincts and logical inferences. And of course, in true "Aspie form", it always came down to ignorance over some social rule nuance.
That, or not seeing the "big picture", as I was also accused of - my "assumptions" were basically going off on tangents unrelated to the big picture or the hive-mind, divergent thinking. Well, I couldn't have been that clueless, since I had enough insight to realize the hidden message behind being accused of "making assumptions". What they really wanted to say, but couldn't out of politeness, was "You lack common sense" or "you seem clueless and out of tune with what people really expect from you".
In one of those jobs, I can recall a time when I was presenting something at a meeting with a handful of people; I printed out my 2-3 pages for it, assuming they'd do the same, but no, they didn't... there was an unspoken expectation that was "obvious"
that I as the host was supposed to print out sufficient copies. Funny thing is, I did do that in the past, in past jobs, just not consistently due to my absent-minded professor nature i.e. I'd be prepping for the meeting, and completely forget to print copies. Fortunately, that changed in later work, when we just relied on a damn projector and saved trees 
18 Jun 2025, 3:27 am
DuckHairback
Veteran
Joined: 27 Jan 2021
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,484
Location: Durotriges Territory
18 Jun 2025, 9:17 am
| Similar Topics | |
|---|---|
| Judge says Trump administration violated court order |
21 May 2025, 9:47 pm |
| following rules |
01 Jul 2025, 9:15 pm |
