Need Advice--Overload/Withdrawal/Inattention?

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Have had this problem for a while, but it is becoming more severe, probably because I am putting more demands on myself. Past two years: Got my own apartment, started attending college, started keeping apartment properly clean. College classes are difficult but the load is very light... only it feels extremely heavy to me.

I am labeled ASD, features of ADHD (inattentive), depression (in remission). Not that this tells you much about my specific situation. We are all so diverse...

School has been stressing me out pretty badly. Have dropped all non-essential activities. Spend most of the time trying to study. I'm either in this sort of fuzzy "I don't wanna" withdrawal/procrastination, or else feverishly working before my brain slips away again. (See why they think I have ADHD (inattentive) features? Interesting how much this dovetails with autistic-type executive dysfunction, doesn't it?)

I have lately experienced a change in the quality of meltdown/shutdown incidents. As a child, I would have simply fallen to the floor and cried for several hours. I still do that but it's become a lot less often. Instead, I withdraw, mentally. It's like my thoughts get slow and fuzzy and nothing is getting processed very well.

Problem being: Shutdowns seem to last a long time now, sometimes days. In fact, I'm half in that state right now. I am here because I'm trying to describe the problem, get a handle on it. Typing always helps; I could probably be in complete shutdown and still get words out that way. My native language is text. Hyperlexic as a kid, bookworm now...

Right now I'm freaking out because I have a research paper due and I can't figure out how to start. Yeah... go figure. Has that ever happened to you? Shutdown simply because you're facing a difficult task and you can't get a handle on it? You'd think I'd have no problem with a research paper. I'm practically writing an essay now.

So I need to kick myself out of this, and soon, because this paper is a big one and I need to get it turned in on Tuesday and I haven't written a single bit of it yet. Plus, my house is dirty and my cats are threatening to mutiny if I go a second day without scooping their boxes...

Already tried going outside (for the sunshine) and drinking coffee. Have been spending a lot of time staring idly at my reference books and flipping through them without absorbing anything...

Tips?

Similar things have happened to me, not often but they have. Usually doing something I don't want to do or work I have to do that's hard and I'm tired, I just go off into laa laa land in and out, so I'll be alert one minute and completely switched off next, so I have to do some work that I can't I hardly read it I just stare at the paper blankly. Last time I had to ring a friend on the phone I just could hardly do a thing because I was anxious so I couldn't say anything for ages and I was crying because I couldn't call them, I did eventually though.

I am just tired of realizing that I have spent a whole day without any purposeful activity... well, other than eating, sleeping, feeding he cats, and (usually) taking a shower.

Me too, especially when I had something important to do, really frustrating it is.

I have that too, when overloaded or anxious, I go to concentrate on something and my mind just dies on me. I either sit for ages and don't think about anything, or develop an obsession then not be able to wrench my mind off that track.

I try doing something to calm down or normalize. Just sitting in a dark room with some slow music on seems to help.

When you feel on overload or your mind is so fuzzy that you cannot think straight, have you tried putting everything aside for a
brief period and go for a leisurely walk? Taking a necessary break and engaging in some kind of physical activity can really
help to "clear your mind" and better able to write that paper. It doesn't have to be for very long...just 10-15 minutes.

Or go clean the cat's litter box...the smell must be getting pretty bad by now. In the brief time it takes to freshen the cat's litter box, it will give that much needed break from all that intellectual brain activity you use in writing that paper... and the cat will appreciate that fresh litter box, too!

Tips none, sorry Callista.

I just wanted to agree with what you said about that you suspect ADD (ADHD inattentive features/type) in specific. I don't have any inattentive features such as withdrawing, day-dreaming, but I've studied this because everybody claimed I was and know several children and adults with ADD.

It is eerie (to me, because I can't stop being the very opposite) that those people literally withdraw and sit and stare sometimes, often with little movement, only to very occasionally 'come back', do something or say something for a moment and then revert back to what looks like apathy and 'not being there' to me. Reading about how you withdraw and escape now sometimes reminded me strongly of my perception of those with ADD without H.

To the shutdowns I can't say anything.

I also had problems to get words out when overwhelmed, though I do have noticed that in the past month my inability to speak, say the words in various stressing and relaxed situations has decreased. I haven't started to worry (yet?) and thus haven't given this much thought.

Anyway, good luck with your paper and everything else.

If it were 'just' your AD(H)D then I would have a tip. I'd kick you and say get up, clean the cat litters, sit back down. Then come back for new orders like, take all your books and such that you need to write the paper and put them away for now. Get up again, make yourself a tea if you like that horribly disgusting drink, then take a wet cloth clean your counter-top in the kitchen to avoid anything disgusting to... errr, inhabit your kitchen. Oh yeah and then feed the cat if you haven't after you finished scrubbing the counter.

Boy, does this sound familiar.

I find it happens to me when it's a big project and I'm overwhelmed by the complexity of it. Stuck in the big picture, I think. Mental overwhelm. Brain freeze.

So I've learned to break it down into small steps... even really tiny, tiny steps. Just to get some forward momentum. I'll even make a little list.

For example, I'd start the paper by... clearing the space to work. Then getting out the paper... no books yet... sitting down and diagramming, scribbling relevant words and phrases, no particular order...

inevitably something will come up I need to check out in a book... then a paragraph comes together; it doesn't matter where it would go in the actual paper, I've even come up with the last paragraph first.

If I can get my brain loosened up and starting to think again, then the project just seems to start to take on a life of its own.

I think part of this is that I get hung in a linear mind set and that's not how we think. So by breaking it up into tiny steps (details) and beginning to free associate around the topic, it unlocks the natural way our brain works and frees it to do what it loves.

This is something I very much relate to. At university, the knowledge that there were papers etc. I had to do, no matter how light, would shut me down for days, even weeks. It was simply due to the fact that I had a set task to complete in order to achieve a goal that was very important to me and my future circumstances.

I struggled on for months before grinding to a halt. I was then signed off sick and within a week or two was hyperfocusing, reading 2 full academic texts within 2 days, simply for pleasure. The only way I can get anything done is by doing things my way, highly idiosyncratically, and hoping the given institution is accommodating enough about it. Any sign of pressure or scheduling and I'm rendered disabled and sick.

I can completely associate with the procrastination aspects here. The only thing I can say is that, once you start, it is never as bad and you psych yourself up to believe.

I don't think you need my advise you are doing well to function at all is a minor miracle for an as-pie.It is interesting how those of us who survive and aspire have a great knowledge of themselves and can articulate it.Problem is nt world doesn't see this as an attribute think they need an emotional vocabulary but the power to conform is to strong.I have an exam Tues going from meltdown to cramming was about to say cant cope with pressure but iam and you are and we are still here striving good luck and keep moving forward.

I think it's white page syndrome and that's why it's a good idea just to write down what you know without worrying about structure. It's all in the rewrite anyway. I knew a painter who said he used to throw a splatter of paint on a canvas just to get past this block. It's amazingly hard to do even that I've found. It's like a mental paralysis.

Well, I've been trying for eleven and a half hours now, and I have an outline!

...this is progress. Really.

I have some kinetic learning tendencies. You may want to try vigorous physical exercise and/or house cleaning and scrubbing to get your body started. Your mind will follow if you have these tendencies as well.

lol @ most of the people responding being female.

That brings up a question. Is this a different manifestation of aspegers in females?

Also, re. the sluggishness. Study in a different place. Try that. A library, maybe. The "energy" and "Environment" around you could get you going faster.

Or, this is a stage and you will end up like this for a while, and stop.

this is what I have been struggling with as well, I have the same diagnoses as you, but with a primary dx of anxiety. In my case I have a research paper (lit review) AND a 30% written assignment for another class.

I spent 15 hours of Saturday desperately trying to focus and produced one sheet of paper. (it's Monday night for me right now.) Sunday I spent 8 hours and produced 4 more, but only after crying for about half an hour because I felt so desolate and impossible.

Meltdowns wise, yeah I think it is mostly withdrawing. it's the executive thing too. inability to prioritise. My thoughts are so scattered.

Like you I am not doing productive stuff. I know there is laundry. I forced myself to take some laundry out but only got about half a basket into the machine before I got distracted by something else that seemed equally important (like the various utterly non-productive rituals I have, such as removing all the hair from the backs of my hands.). If my mother weren't cooking and telling me to eat I would not be eating or doing anything really. Haven't showered.

I did eventually tidy my notes so I could actually read them and try to study from them but it was just so difficult.

I think it's also a huge struggle with set-shifting. There was an openbook test on Friday worth 40%, that I spent all my time revising for and was absolutely horrible because it didn't cover what I'd revised. I was so anxious that I had clenched my jaw til it ached. Friday night was a write-off; Saturday my body was still trembling. So while I'm trying to work on this assignment on a completely different topic, I was still in that "stress recovery mode" where you blank out and try and de-numb yourself, even though it was the day after.

So it is Monday now. I have stared at these sheets of paper and set shifting constantly from distracted-focused-distracted-focused for at least 30 hours now, not to mention the kind of set-shifting required to finish an assignment (outline->detail1->2->3->full essay detail).

Callista all I can recommend is just keep trying. I e-mailed my lecturer to let her know I was struggling but in the end we have to pass our course ourselves. They already said that "if you can't do it you can always do something else."

But just try first.

I notice it says you're Christian in your signature. If you're reasonably well acquainted with scripture, then maybe you will find colossians 3:23-24 helpful.