Another question to the NTs

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When you come here, does it feel like you are on the other side of the world because the things we say are different? Our point of views, our perspectives, how we see the world? Our thinking?

Great post/question League-Girl.

I like your threads.

Dislaimer: I've taken all the online tests and only the EQ and FQ tests fall into the asperger's category. On the AQ test I score a 29, below the magic 32 threshold. On the other tests I fall into the NT or somewhere in the overlap between NT and AS. So, I suspect that I'm either NT with a few mild AS traits or very mildly AS. I neither fixate on any specific thing, nor do I have some of the repetative traits that AS people very often have. I a nutshell, I think that I'm NT-enough to try answering your question.

Yes and no.

I've only read posts here for the past few days and most of the posts look like posts you'd see on any other forum. It's just people posting about life, trivia, relationships. You're more "normal" on many levels than you might think. When it comes to some of the posts, however, dealing with fixations or repetative physical habits (for lack of a better term) those with aspergers do seem to be very foreign.

I can't imagine it feels too good when the NTs who are here because they want to learn about autism or wanting to learn how to communicate better with an autistic relative see a post about how horrible they all are.

If they thought before that Aspies/Auties are sweet, nice, naive and ret*d people who want to be NT and feel worse about it... life is brutal

Well they call us "ret*ds" so...

Well, my boyfrind and his son are AS and I am NT and honestly- sometimes- it does seem like we are on different planets. On here, however, I don't think so much at all. The only points of view that I don't understand on these boards is the one of "Why can't everyone try to understand us-- we are just different," when so many AS people don't want to undertand the mind functioning of an NT. These are usually followed by the "We shouldn't have to change" threads, which usually end up talking about how NTs should be different than they are.

So, in essence, the double standard thing dumbfounds me, but I suspect those are mostly out of frustration and not an actual mindset.

Michelle

/sigh. Seriously I'd like to know why someone feels the need to jump in and bash on people the second the term "NT" is brought up on any thread whatsoever. It really is to the point of narrow-minded and ridiculous to have to thumb through this junk, ESPECIALLY when the question is directed to them to get some insight in the first place.

...and you guys wonder why people won't just accept you as you are. That's just plain rude and going out of your way to be that way! I'll accept you as you are... but my acceptance doesn't make me think you are very nice people...

To the NTs... if this stuff annoys me so much, I really can't imagine it feels too welcoming to you guys either, since it's generalizing and always negative.

I'm not really sure this forum does much about explaining the "aspie point of view" and how it relates to the NT point of view. Occasionally there are in-depth topics that an NT will get in on and have an interesting discussion but for the most part its a sounding board for people who have something to say and no one else to say it to.

That's how I see it anyway.

I originally joined here looking for advice on how to be better, how to get along, how to save my marriage, how to cope as an A-typical. There is not much of that to be found here, in reality.

That isn't to say this forum hasn't been of benefit to me. It has indeed. I greatly enjoy having a sounding board and I have been able to have some decent discussions of topics and gain valueable perspectives. It's just that I don't think the "aspie point of view" isn't really able to be explained to an NT's satisfaction/understanding and for the most part isn't discussed. Particular topics can be discussed but even then all you're getting is each individual's point of view.. So I am not sure the original question is relevant.

Hi Michelle,

You must also take into consideration that sometimes willingness to empathise and understand is not exactly an AS's strong point. I'd love to understand NTs, but given the constraints of my condition the list of people I can understand is very limited.

You need to be patient with us, so sorry if you have been irritated by what you have read.


(and point of order..... I don't understand AS's either - not even myself.)

I love the humor on WP- I wonder if the NT's get all of it?

I wonder also if they understand why one or two of us, my self excepted, would probably feel like verbally bludgening some of them on first contact ? No names mentioned but a few of the guys here would happily metaphorically carve the insignia of whatever repressive regime they have been under, into the foreheads of those negative Aspie-curious visitors before sending them back to their memetic masters. What is more I'm cool with some of our guys wanting to do stuff like that. Just the way they are and I don't judge them one bit.

Having said that I really do extend genuine support for those raising the next generation of us
with kindness and love and patience.

I also really liked the guy who came up to me in the real world and said he was Ok with the "disease" I was suffering. Maybe he should come back to the next exhibition. I might have bit more to say to him.

Last edited by memesplice on 11 Mar 2010, 4:03 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I don't get irritated-- I just propose that people with AS also accept that NT's that are even aware of what the ASD is, probably are trying to understand. We have a hard time truly understanding what we can't experience as well

There are some differences. The things that people angst over are often different. There are also many posters with highly idiosyncratic posting styles that are unlike anything I've seen on other boards.

I pay them due respect by calling them 'normal' as opposed to NT (which is something to do with Microsoft Windows).

Yes, I lick their boots and give them all my money and I try my best to jump through all of their hoops ...

... and yet they still reject me.

I'm at the stage where I am trying to convince the people around me to treat me like they always have, and I in return will try and pretend to be a normal person like I've been doing all my life. Then we can all carry on living in denial together. I like this plan because then the AS is MY PROBLEM and not theirs. All I ask is that they don't deliberately try and punch my red buttons (unless it is really funny and they can;t resist it - I still like a laugh myself and appreciate cruel humour as long as it is inventive).

Example.... this week we found an advent calender left over from christmas and my step son decided he was going to have the chocolates out of it. So he was sat in the room, opening the little doors, eating the chocolates and looking at me smirking. "Do you know what I'm doing?" he says. "No. What?" I say. "I'm eating the chocolates in the wrong order!"

ARRGGGHHH. My stress level hits 100% instantly, but in that just-had-a-practical-joke-played-on-you way. So I shook for while and stimmed like crazy for a few minutes, but boy I was laughing my head off.

I'm not sure of that joke translates to an NT. But trust me. It's funny. And also shows that my 14 year old understands me perfectly well.