Non-Aspieish signs...

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Hi all....

I have noticed how difficult it is for many Aspies on WP with isolation and the inability to make new friends and such. I am curious to know if there's any Aspies out there who have had good success in making new friends and not feeling isolated.

Please share your success here.

Back, in the November of 2006, shortly after I've moved into my apartment, a group of people from my clubhouse asked me, if I wanted to go out with them. I went out with those people, and I've been friends with them, ever since.

Awesome, CR I have been heavily involved in my community, and have been able to establish new friendships with a variety of different people. Made new friends this past weekend, when I was in San Francisco, and ended up going barhopping with a number of them. Was a fabulous time. Even "getting lost" seemed to be great as well. Nothing quite like exploring in a city I've never been in an all The good news is.. I'm going back to San Francisco again next year for business, and looking forward to more fun. Will be there for a good week, compared to just a weekend this time.

I'd have a larger group of friends if i kept in touch. I feel like I have an apathy towards having or keeping friends that precludes social success.

i began my quest to blend in with neurotypicals after my diagnosis. i have studied nonverbal behavior and i force myself to observe facial expressions, intonations, etiquette, etc. i now know how to behave in a way that doesn't offend people left and right but i'm very shy and i still have social anxiety to deal with because of the humiliation and failed connection i've experienced in the past. i seem normal for the most part but i have to really try in order to come off that way. i've managed to make quite a few acquaintances and i have a couple of close friends.

I've been able to make friends when in forced interaction situations, like work friends, or school friends. But it never lasted. At some point it began to feel like work to keep up with the friendships so I would let them dissolve. It was like I was only experimenting with having friends, I would have fun when I went out but eventually I would prefer to be by myself after a few outings. I've been told I'm a cool guy to hang out with but I don't like hanging out with people.

I used to have a few friends when I was single. Now I got a house full of people to take care of (or serve) plus annoying relatives, I get social interaction burnout frequently and don't desire any more human contacts. Maybe I'll eventually have the energy and time for friends again. I don't really have problem making friends. I just don't want any right now.

That's the word I'm looking for, "social burnout." At some point, I just can't take it anymore, and I have to be by myself. I can only put up with other people for so long.

Oops, double post.

ditto. I want to be friends and I do feel that alot of people are my friends but I don't get why we have to do stuff together or talk on the phone to be friends. It's almost too intense. I can write letters back and forth on and on but most people want to get together in person or talk on the phone. I feel like maybe I'm trying to control the sensory input and keep it more remote and they think I am unfriendly or just no fun.

I was once able to if someone else took the initiative. Now, I have little interest, I find interacting with people in real life to be exhausting. I enjoy hanging out at home with my son, though.

> "social burnout." At some point, I just can't take it anymore, and I have to be by myself. I can only put up with other people for so long.

That says it for me.

I can MAKE friends - though most of it is cases where a congenial adopts me; I do not take the initiative, unless you count breaking into someone else's conversation with a correction of garbled fact. But maintaining them can be hard - except for the Aspiesque - and wear me down.

And a lot of "friends" garnered along the way turn out to have much less invested in me than I have in them

yes- I can make friends fairly easily; especialy if they have similar interests to me.
but keeping them is hard, as I need to be alone, and have long periods of being unsocial. and sometimes I come across as being mad or high.
so I'm seen as weird.

Last edited by enid on 28 Apr 2010, 10:15 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'm the same way. I have a few friends in the city I used to live in but I moved a year ago and have no friends here.

I've done quite well in the friends department at times........it's just a matter of finding the right people. My first screening test is always "are they judgemental or are they supportive and inclusive?"

Music has been a great help - it gives us something to do together so the social challenges don't seem as stark. In fact all my current friends are musicians. Musicians are often quite unusual people, so I don't feel like a freak when I'm with them. A square hole for a square peg.