Who has social anxiety and can't do small talk

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simon2wright
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10 Jun 2010, 3:26 pm

I hate meeting people as I feel I have nothing to say.



Vanilla_Slice
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10 Jun 2010, 3:34 pm

Me

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Sol-IV
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10 Jun 2010, 3:47 pm

I'm terrible at 'small talk'.

I usually end up saying something like "nice weather we've been having", from lack of anything else to say,
and when I sit in a room filled with a large amount of people talking, I start to wonder after a while how they can still have anything left to say..?! o_o



TheSpecialKid
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10 Jun 2010, 4:10 pm

Same goes for me...



marshall
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10 Jun 2010, 4:38 pm

Sol-IV wrote:
I'm terrible at 'small talk'.

I usually end up saying something like "nice weather we've been having", from lack of anything else to say,
and when I sit in a room filled with a large amount of people talking, I start to wonder after a while how they can still have anything left to say..?! o_o

This.

I never know what people talk about at large parties/receptions because I'm usually not close enough to anyone to pick up on any one particular conversation. I can't filter out background noise either so being in the room is almost like listening to a loud chorus of cicadas. People are too freaking loud for me when they talk all at once.



devark
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10 Jun 2010, 4:50 pm

What makes me bad at small talk is that I have extreme difficulty putting together the details of what people say into a overall coherent picture, and because of this I usually miss the intended context. Consequently this makes me very anxious/nervous when talking/listening, and if that wasn't enough, not being able to fluently gauge interest, or read nonverbal cues makes the whole ordeal a giant mess. I'm clumsy while initiating and ending conversations as well (how do I start, when do I stop, how do I stop, ect). Communicating face to face isn't intuitive at all for me. Phone calls are easier, and text is even better; however, even with text I still have difficulty assembling the details into an overall picture.

::edit::
Come to think of it, this is probably my biggest overall problem when it comes to comunication, however, a lot of my anxiety does stem from it. Small talk, other talk, im bad at all of it lol.


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Talena
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10 Jun 2010, 5:03 pm

Me.



YankeesGamer24
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10 Jun 2010, 5:27 pm

I can do small talk with one person, but definitely not in groups. Even with one person I usually can't keep it going for more than 20 minutes.



MONIQUEIJ
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10 Jun 2010, 5:32 pm

i hate meeting new people



bee33
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10 Jun 2010, 6:06 pm

I'm not terrible at it in a superficial way, even if I do seem a bit anxious and awkward, but I can't get the subtleties. I don't know if someone wants to change topics or is uninterested, I don't know what might interest them, and I don't know what to say.

I can see other people having an interaction where what they're saying doesn't really matter, because it's just an excuse to connect and laugh together, but how to do that completely escapes me.



Dots
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10 Jun 2010, 6:06 pm

I have trouble making small talk with new people. Once I've known someone for a while and I know we have an interest in common, I can talk about that. But new conversations, new people... can't do. I get stuck after "hi, how are you?"


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Descartes
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10 Jun 2010, 6:20 pm

I hate small talk because it's so awkward for me, and I'm afraid that the person whom I'm talking to might think I'm weird or boring or something. I prefer deep conversations.



hale_bopp
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10 Jun 2010, 6:41 pm

It's not only completely difficult, it's mentally and emotionally draining.



Francis
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10 Jun 2010, 8:25 pm

I can't do small talk either, although it has nothing to do with social anxiety.



MathGirl
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10 Jun 2010, 8:28 pm

I don't have social anxiety, but I absolutely hate small talk. It irritates me.


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psychointegrator
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11 Jun 2010, 12:10 am

simon2wright wrote:
I hate meeting people as I feel I have nothing to say.


The problem then is you feel that you have nothing to say?


I'm sure what hits me is under society anxiety in some sense.

As for the small talk thing.... If it's boring to do, why do it?
What is the purpose for meeting people?

Answer that and we can move forward.

Have you research much about what small talk is or serves to be most of the time?
If not, I'll try and hunt down the links that will explain this phenomena.

P.S. Overall, "small talk" bores me all to heck.