People "Know" right away.

Post Reply New Topic

maybe im too self-concious

it feels like as soon as i walk into a store or fast food place, people notice me right away. i dont mean "can i take your order" kind of notice me. for example: i was at best buy the other day, i rolled up on my bicycle, and locked it to a tree, there was an employee out front soliciting credit cards. she saw me pull up as she was asking other customers if they wanted to sign up. as i was walking by, she gave me a stare and didnt say a word, didnt offer me a CC.

another best buy example, usually the staff approach everyone and ask if they need any assistance, not me, it took me 10 minutes to find someone to open a merchandise display, and when i go to the geek squad counter with a question, they look at me like im a complete idiot. i asked for two 2GB DDR2 memory units for a laptop, the guy proceeded to lecture me about how 32-bit OSes can only handle 3GB and wont even recognize the fourth. im thinking "ok,i just want to buy two
two gig chips, i dont need a lecture" my goal is to get in and out as quickly as possible, i can get a weeks grocery shopping done in 9 minutes, including checkout (yes, i time myself and try to beat my goal)


i feel like everywhere i go, i am under constant scrutiny, even at church on sunday, i go alone, this lady and her son were there, i went to school with the son back in the day, he even has mid-functioning autism. me and the lady got to talking (before the service) about the special ed serivces in our area and i mentioned my AS to her, just as the words left my mouth, the couple sitting in front of us turned around and gave us a dirty look, during the handshake greeting they *begrudgingly* shook our hands.

and people wonder why i never talk about my AS

I think they look at you, and expect some sort of facial tic back. They stare at you to wait on the social tic, as it is "normal".

as ive said before: if there is some sort of "master list" somewhere that tells me this sort of thing, i would love to see it.
"Terms and Conditions for existing as a human being"

Try this. Not the easiest or most accessible thing to read, but good nonetheless.

The Nonverbal Dictionary of Gestures, Signs, and Body Language Cues.

I notice that I sometimes make people nervous, maybe its my weird behavior or the fact I am nervous myself. It does not help that I am 6'2" 288 lbs so big and crazy equal nervouss behavior from the NTs.

Couldn't help but notice that quite a lot in your examples might be down to you giving off a "content with my own company" vibe, or maybe that can be done just by not doing whatever body language NTs do when they want to engage. Simply not making eye contact usually keeps salespeople from accosting me, it's as if they pick up some kind of reassurance if I look them in the face (I use that a lot to avoid them).

But it's not all that. There are a lot of "Aspie shunners" out there, the opposite of those soft-hearted people who are always helping lame ducks. They seem to have a radar system for it.

it makes sense that they would all work at best buy, they are mostly self-important NT's who feel we have no place living in "their" world, we are just a nuiscence to them.

ever notice that they all "look" the same. i dont mean in a blue shirt uniform sense, but they all have a similar physique.

Guys: one of two: either somewhat tall, buff, with darker hair; or short, skinny, techie types (often of Indian (india) descent)

Girls: short, skinny, good looking, but small bust.

What does ethnicity or bust size have to do with a condescending attitude? Are you serious?

thats not what i was implying. i meant that in my local BB, many of the employees have similar appearances, much like abercrombie and fitch's "look policy"

i meant no offense towards anyones ethnicity or appearance, i just happen to notice those things more than the average person i guess.

If the couple sitting in front of you were able to hear your conversation, you were probably talking too loud for church, and their look was more likely annoyance for the noise - or they may have heard your mention of AS as ASS BURGERS and found that offensive. Most people have no clue what AS is, so its doubtful they were prejudiced against you for that.

My sister calls me that. How witty.
More on topic, her stupid friends that come over and stay at our house the entire day think I'm weird. They're voluntarily spending over six hours with my jerk sister and I'm weird?! She says their first impression of me is that I stand out. Which is weird because I do everything I can to avoid that, including hiding on my bed. Surrounded by a curtain. How can I possibly stand out? I stay out of the way and I still manage to be singled out as the weirdo. Like Mr. Rochester's hidden crazy psycho wife that he keeps in the attic.
*edited for an annoying typo

Last edited by book_noodles on 22 Jun 2010, 8:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

i think "ASS BURGERS" is the reaction from 99% of the people who have never heard of aspergers. iritates the hell out of me though, people on other message boards make comments because they dont understand

gave me a chuckle at first, but then i realized that was a shot.


and to willard. we had been discussing autism, and this is a VERY conservative church, many people in my area see all these different "labels" as ways to scam the go'vt out of disability money, they view ADD as "Abscense of Discipline Disorder" some of these people think A/AS are just made up.

the pastor knows me and my history, he is very kind and accepting, he is just glad im back in church.

I think that people know right away, when they see me coming.

I often feel like I have an aura that just drains the conversation out of people. When I am in a room people are instantly more quiet. I have walked into a room that was full of people having conversations and as soon as I'm there they are all silent and just staring at each other.

I wish employees in stores would leave me alone, but I always have people asking if I need help with something, when I never do. And I purposely go to a more expensive grocery store, rather than the local Wal-Mart, because it is always far less busy, and I can grocery shop without having to be bombarded with a gaggle of idiots.

Anyway, I do generally feel like people can tell I'm different just from seeing me. One of my fiancees friends I sat with for a while at my fiancee's brother's wedding, and talked with her, I tried to act as "normal" as possible. I later find out my fiancee's friend made some sort of comment to my fiancee along the lines of "he's like your sister huh?" My fiancee's sister has AS also. That sort of irked me, because I was trying my best to act normal and she could still tell.

It is the smell. At least, that is what it seems like.

Quoting the Matrix intentionally or unintentionally? Either way that made me smile.