Are you like your parents?
So basicly I made a topic recently, and I apologize if I somehow come of as a forum/attention whore. In another topic it was mentioned that parents who are on the broader autistic phenotype are more likely to have multiple children who are on the spectrum themselves. I'm not questioning this hypotesis, it does make alot of sense, but of course there must be exceptions. It gave me the idea of a topic about how you compare to your relatives - skillwise and personality wise. If people are willing to share, this could be interesting (i'm sure this isn't the first thread about this, but I'm don't feel like necroposting)
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My parents are the mirror image of myself. Take my father f.ex, he's very outgoing, is very close to his relatives and family and helps them out whenever needed. He's not the typical alpha male, but he does interact with strangers and has a wide social circle allthough he's not very into partying. His IQ is about 40 points lower than mine, but he's always the one helping me out and not the other way around because he's very practical and has more life experience than I do. Neither of us are good at sports, but he's extremely handy while I'm gifted in the arts (drawing, music, sculpturing). He's got a low paying job and no formal education, while I expect to earn 100k + if I graduate successfully. I used to look down on him because intellectual achievement and knowledge is important to me, we weren't on the same wavelenght and because he often treated me like a child. As I grew up however, I realized how much more complete he was as a human being, and how lucky I am to have him as a parent. Trough the years, I've caused my parents much trouble and I've been both mean and manipulative to them. I've matured enough to appreciate my father even though we are very different, and I've started to help him out as well. I suspect his MBTI to be ESFP while my own MBTI is INTJ. He's also very modest, empathic and altruistic , while I can be a egocentric, narcissistic a**hole provided the right circumstances.
My personality is similar to my dad's, but more extreme. My mother has a completely different personality that clashes with mine. She's the kind of person who vocalises every thought she has as soon as it crosses her mind.
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I'm a lot like my parents. They have no friends, they are eccentric though socially conservative. My dad is very smart (smarter than I am) and has obsessive interests. My mom is also smart but she is more of a fretter. They're very rigid (much more than I am, about some things). My dad held a good job (science related) until he retired, but I have never had much employment and was never dedicated enough in school -- I got good grades in college and graduated but I loathed very bit of it. I am a decent artist and writer but never was disciplined enough to study science.
My parents have never heard of AS so they're obviously not diagnosed, but they could be AS to some extent, I think.
No. My parents are both drug addicts. My father is a paranoid schizophrenic although many people who knew him in his younger years say they don't think this is the case. He could have AS for all I know, his personality could be viewed as somewhat autistic but he has basically FRIED his brain with very heavy drug use for the past 30 years so nobody will ever really know. I think the drugs changed him forever, from what I've heard he was somewhat normal in his younger days and was *obsessed* with motorcycles.
My mother is a drug addict as well but has a traumatic brain injury that she got before I was born so I'm not sure what she used ot be like. She started doing drugs at a very young age, but she used ot be an avid reader. That's really all I know.
ADHD does run in my family, almost all of my other family members show signs of it and some have Aspie like behavior so I guess I am like them in that respect. Some of my father's siblings have neurological issues and most of the others have mental health issues that have never been explained. I am pretty sure one of my younger cousins is autistic. My nephew also has NVLD, I didn't even know this until this year. I actually used to think he was slow Dx.
I'm a lot like my dad, I'm told. I barely know him as my mother and he split up when I was about 3 and I lost contact with his side of the family. From what little stories my maternal relatives share with me it seems apparent that my paternal relatives are the ones with ASD traits. In that regard it's a shame I don't really know them, it might've helped me cope.
Very similar here. My dad is a little ADD, my mom clinically depressed, and both are extremely compulsive. (I also have ADHD and depression aside from Asperger's.) I'm kind of the opposite though because I'm messy and disordered whereas they're both extremely organized. There's no history of autistic spectrum disorders in my family that I'm aware of.
my personality is kind of a mix of my parents as far as i can tell.
my dad's kind of quirky and awkward, my mom's kind of quirky & social
& i'm sort of quirky and socially awkward.
physically though i think i take after my mom's side more.
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I can see some traits in each parent that are much more pronounced in me because of the Autism, but I don't think either of them is Autistic at all. I think my Dad's Mother was, definitely, and his Father had some pronounced quirks, but not enough that I think that was the cause.
My mother is another story and her psyche has always been a great mystery to me. I have three siblings, and neither of them has a close relationship to her, but is very fond of their father. She's not a sociopath, which is sometimes the case when a parent is disliked by all their children (two of them who are adults), nor does she exhibit traits of classical narcissism and does not suffer from delusions of grandiosity.
In a social setting she's compliant, doesen't take the lead, is not an introvert but is not very outgoing and speaks in a calm tone with moderate levels of emotional entusiasm, not in a monotone voice. If you didn't know her you'd perceive her as a nice and down to earth person with no social impairments (though not high social intelligence) who look you directly in the eyes, but dosen't have an intense stare. Her confidence is moderate, she does initiate but does not necessarily take the lead in a conversation.
Can be naive and displays low intellectual confidence, I'd estimate her cognitive abilities to be about average (visual, low average). She claims to be very fond of kids, but appearently her kids does not feel close to her. She's a first grade teacher, but has let my poor brother down by not giving him the help he needs (he's dyslexic) and has never been encouraged to do his homework. Also I grew up without any intellectual stimulation from my parents. We did not have any books, so I learned to read from recipes (age 4). I suspect that she use children to fill some emotional void as she's very emotionally demanding and is very dependent on others.
She sleeps around and was unfaithful to my father on several accounts which led to divorce. My sisters describes her as being egocentric (but is subtle about it). She's rather unstable emotionally and can appear hysteric if stressed/unable to deal with a situation. Because she has high social ambitions - and desire for such as it would fill her emotional needs, she want's to seen as a successfull mother at all costs. This includes using her kids in her lies and deceptions. I might be important to her because she can brag about my achievements, when in fact she has nothing to do with it. She's made lying a habit and cover up lies with new lies. However she's not very good at it. I lie myself, but not in the same way she does.
I would never initiate a lie like she does, or involve others. I lie if I don't feel like giving a honest answer to a question or to be polite/nice. However I suspect I learned to lie from her. She's an attention whore who crave sympathy and will often go to extreme lenghts. One time she threatened with suicide because of a small argument she had with my sister (she's not depressed or suicidal). She's a passive aggressive manipulator who prey on sympathy.
Not because she has sadistic tendencies, but to fuel her emotional and narcissistic needs. NTs like my sister (the one who isn't diagnosed with HPD) have a great deal of trouble dealing with aggressive manipulators, yet somehow it seems I'm immune to them. When dealing with my mother, I always make sure to be emotionally detached, sarcastic and cynical. I give her no emotional inputs, ego boosts or sympathy.
CockneyRebel
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I'm not really like any of my parents. I have a mind, and a personality all my own. I can't really put my finger on it. Perhaps, I'm too innocent, to take on the personality of an adult. Maybe it's that I was very adamant, all through high school and college, that I would not grow up to be like my parents, and I've succeeded.
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leejosepho
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"An apple does not fall far from the tree", it is said, and that seems to be the case with me. I cannot say with any certainty about either of my parents actually being on the spectrum, yet one of my brothers recently described my dad as he is today in a way that fit me almost perfectly.
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