Difficulty going to the psychologist to be examined..

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Hello, my name is Luna.. I'm obviously new here, but I would really like some advice!
So for the past 7-9 months, I've been doing a lot of research on Autism. At first, it was only for my mate's niece, she can't speak clearly at 3 years old and I thought she might have some form of Autism. Then I read up on Aspergers and was simply.. blown away. Now I am utterly convinced that I have AS, but I just can't seem to go the psychologist. I've spoken with my friends whom either practice or study in the field, and they all urge me to go.. But I can never seem to give myself the courage.
I think I may have a fear? When I was younger I had a bad experience with a therapist who blamed me for my feelings and did no good. I guess maybe I don't want to go because I'm afraid I'm wrong in my personal belief, and that my childhood was the way it was and I feel the way I do because I fail at being a productive member of my society/community?
Also, it's just so hard to find a therapist that I can afford. I have medi-cal, and for any of you in California, you know it's not very reliable.

If someone could please give me some insight, for the past 9 months I have been incredibly anxious over this and I'd really like to finally give myself some peace of mind...

Try contacting your local autistic organizations. I you do not know of any try doing a google search of your area. They will provide you with a list of psychologists who will evaluate you. I strongly suggest finding someone who specializes in autism spectrum disorders. Make sure to ask for doctors who charge on a sliding scale they will help negotiate your bill to what you can afford.

I got my diagnosis on August 6th 2010, I did not know what Aspergers was until April of 2010 after watching a tv show where doctors discribed different medical conditions and the day I watched the show they happened to be talking about autism spectrum disorders and I could not believe how much Aspergers described me to a tee. Then I asked a friend who is HFA who should I contact and he gave me some phone numbers to contact and rest is history.

I know how you feel.

I will call them.. I have the Autism Support Network's number right in front of me.. It's just picking up the phone and doing it.
Do you ever feel prideful? Because I don't want to be disabled, I don't feel disabled.. I need the help but I don't want to feel as though I have to have it.

I myself am terrible, terribly macho. I don't want no help from nobody, nohow!
I need help all the time for many reasons.
I don't really tell people about the Autism thing. I'm VERY good at "passing" for normal because I'm female and appear young. Mostly I just let people think I'm stupid or slow or shy. Or all three. (I'm actually very opinionated, loud, blunt, and ridiculously intelligent.)

Here's the thing, you're not asking for help to get OUT of things, you're asking for the tools to help yourself! I did a lot of reading on my own and worked on myself before I was ever officially diagnosed, but eventually I went and got my "pedigree" because I really do need help with certain things. From actual other people. You know?

It's not like you have to go out telling everyone when you first meet them. You don't have to shout "I'm disabled!" from the rooftops. I don't really think of myself that way at all. I like to think I have secret superpowers. Autistic ones!

When I was younger they diagnosed me with ADHD and put me in special education classes. I always knew I did not belong in the classes they were too easy and boring for me. People mistreated me for being learning disabled and in the special education classes treating me like a was not as good as them. But when I was diagnosed with Aspergers I asked the doctor about me having ADHD and he said he did not see any signs of a learning disability. I felt vindicated that I was not learning disabled just autistic, autistic people have average or above average IQs so I might actually be better than some of the people who tormented me. I was right they were wrong and that did make me feel better about myself for the first time in decades. A diagnosis showing what you have might do the same for you giving you some needed answers.

Malisha, we may be separated twins! I feel boy-ish, I've always been that way. It doesn't show from my appearance because I sometimes need to cover myself up to feel protected.. I need to do it for myself, go get help.. you make some really good points. I am just really afraid that, after getting up the courage to go, I'll be told that I'm fine and that everything I have and am dealing with is just the outcome of my laziness (or something silly like that).. I don't want to be told that everything is my fault.. That's how I feel a lot of the time.


Todesking.. When did you finally get put into regular classes? Did you? Did you get re-diagnosed at a young age, or not until you were older? I feel like that situation could have been extremely helpful in correctly diagnosing you. I'm sorry that that happened, but, as you said, you were probably smarter than those who were putting you down!

I was always the one with baggy clothes that weren't "girly" so I got made fun of, then I got my hair cut short, etc etc.. All these things piled on top of AS just make for a bully's playground.

When I was in 11th grade after I threatened to quit in the 10th grade and they were going through budget cuts so they were willing to cut off some of the special ed students to save money. When they re-tested me they found out that I was not learning disabled.



I got diagnosed for Aspergers at 40 and they too said there were no signs of a learning disability. I actually was diagnosed August 6th 2010 so not to long ago. It was a 7 hour test that went by very quickly.



They did not diagnose for Aspergers until after I graduated from high school. I was in my mid 20's when they first started diagnosing for Aspergers Syndrome.



Thanks. Some of the kids who picked on me were in remedial classes who actually were taking courses that were slower than special education classes. The others did not speak as well as me some teachers were always quick to point that out to them when they caught them messing with me but that made them hate me more.



I use to dress pretty shabby too. But when I got the same haircut and clothes as my tormentors so they would leave me alone I still got picked on so what does that tell you. They did however leave me alone after I had a growth spurt I had over the summer I got out of special education and now was bigger than most of my tormentors. At least I had 2 good years of high school.

I wear makeup as a defense mechanism. It's the equivalent of making a concession for people expectations of how a female my age should be or act. I try to do a few things like that to make my life slightly less of an uphill battle, so I understand.

Try to think of it less as "help", than gaining self awareness and tools for success.

It might help you to know that I spent my entire life being told I was lazy and making excuses for myself. That I was so smart I could do anything; I was just not trying hard enough. The pressure to act normally, interact socially, and do things that everyone else did so easily eventually broke me. I was in the American Mental Health System from the time I was 12 until 24, and told that I had "emotional problems". I ended up withdrawing completely from society and was a shut-in for 6 years. I was told I was crazy, troubled, and had emotional issues.
After finding out about AS, I left an abusive husband, and started my entire life over. I am now a successful college student, gainfully employed, and have an amazing and understanding boyfriend. I know there is nothing "wrong" with me. I am just different, and need to do things my own way.
As I like to say, "I don't march to the beat of my own drummer; I'm the whole rock band!"

You just need to figure out what works for you, and then never fear to DO those things!

I use to dress pretty shabby too. But when I got the same haircut and clothes as my tormentors so they would leave me alone I still got picked on so what does that tell you. They did however leave me alone after I had a growth spurt I had over the summer I got out of special education and now was bigger than most of my tormentors. At least I had 2 good years of high school. [/quote]

Good for you, being big definitely helps!! I'm sadly only tall, really lanky. >.>

It sounds like you can really specifically empathise with the troubles I'm facing. Tools for success, I really like that point of view.. Your advice (as well as the other gent helping me) is very, very much so appreciated. I think tomorrow I'll call the Autism Support Network, so I can improve my current outlook. (:

This what I remember from the test I took on August 6th 2010.

They gave me a mathematics test.
A reading comprehension test.
A test where I used blocks to reproduce an image with the blocks
A test where I had to name all the animals I could think of as quickly as possible
A test to name all the words I can think of that began with the letter H
I had to put pins in a board holes in it as quickly a possible using one hand
There was a test where I put shapes in a catergory
I had to find what was wrong with several pictures
I was asked what was the most comonly spoken language
I was asked who wrote Alice in wonder land
There were some other triva questions that I forgot about but were common
Several tests for memory
They gave me a list of questions for my parents to fill out and mail in.

The test took 7 hours I tested in the average range due to memory issues in the IQ part and above average in the verbal IQ.

Let them know about your anxiety issues before showing so they will do their best to accomidate you. My psychologist knew right away I had Aspergers from the first conversation he had with me. Do not do anything to hide your Aspergers like you do when your in public. I met a guy who was so good at blending in appearing as if he was NT the psychologist was suprised he had Aspergers. Good luck and be truthfull.

Here is my criteria for meeting the diagnosis for Aspergers.

A1 - marked impairments in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body posture, and gestures to regulate social interaction

A2 - failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level

A4 - lack of social or emotional reciprocity

B1 - encompassing preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and restricted patterns of interest that is abnormal either in intensity of focus

B2 - apparently inflexible adherence to specific, nonfunctional routines or rituals

B4 - persistent preoccupation with parts of objects

C - The disturbance causes clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

D - There is no clinically significant general delay in language e.g., single words used by age two years, communicative phrases used by age three years).

E - There is no clinically significant delay in cognitive development or in the development of age-appropriate self-help skills, adaptive behavior (other than in social interaction), and curiosity about the environment in childhood.

F - Criteria are not met for another specific pervasive developmental disorder or schizophrenia.

I believe my self-diagnosis. What would I do with a psychologist's diagnosis? Nothing. I can use our resources already, and contact with the community is the best one.

Here is a good website for AS women http://help4aspergers.com/index.html , take a look also at the list of female Asperger traits, its pretty amazing http://help4aspergers.com/pb/wp_a58d4f6 ... 83e339.JPG

Todesking, those requirements you wrote, I have read them.Time and time again. I've taken tests, I've read articles, books, AS autobiographies.. I've done my research. Everything points back to going to be examined. It's just taking the step! And the tests they gave you in August, I've heard of those. They make me feel nervous..

PlanetX, if you feel secure it not being with an official diagnoses, I really am relieved to hear it. My problem is, my daily routines are affected, my relationship is affected, I am having difficulty in necessary activities (getting a job, going to school), and really, I just want some help coping and becoming all I can be.