For adults: how did you initially seek help?

Post Reply New Topic

I'm curious about this: I have read several threads where people said they went to the doctor and received referrals to a specialist. I'm considering exploring this option as well, but I have no idea how to broach the topic with my doctor.

So, how did others initially approach their doctor? Did you tell them outright that you suspected you had an ASD? Or were you more vague and described your main issues first, without mentioning your suspicions of an ASD?

My foremost concern is that I'll give the doctor a wrong impression of my issues. I tried to explain to another doctor last year [who was treating me for depression] of my various other difficulties but I don't think she received the message

WOW This is a very timely post for me....I'm 42 and just went on line to learn about AS because I met somebody I kicked with who has it and I had never heard of it before....Then I went went '"what the...." and then I went'Oh my gosh"and then I went...."hey...there talking about me"...after researching and floating around forum and chat for a few months I have many Aha moments...but then I have doubts(part of my nature)Now I'm in the middle....

So, a few days ago I went to my general physician,whom I see about twice a year for about 10 min.because I needed my yearly refill of effexer....I had written down several points I wanted to go over with her but as soon as I started to talk I started crying Not exactly the pressentation I had in mind but something that happens occassionally when I am very nervious or stressed...ie..most incounters with "authority figures" and often with therapist who sound empathetic..

Them"so,how are you feeling today"(insert puppydog eyes here)
Me... I dont even know that im sad when I go in dont feel like crying and hadnt cryed for a few years...and I havent cried since appt.


I managed to chock out...."Do you know about Aspergers?
she gave me dagger looks and said...."of course"
I said..."I think I may have it and would like a referel to talk to a therapist about it....
(still silently leaking tears and unable to see the paper I had written my research on)
she said"you dont have it...you can communicate fine"
she said"why do you think you have it?"in a very snotty way...I thought...
This is when I should have presented my "research"but couldnt see,so I said
I have been learning about it online"
and she LOLed me....and said"well , do they have a Doctors Degree"...and was all huffy....
she said..."I think we need to increase your anti-depressents"
I said...."that would be ok but I still want a refferal so that I can rule this out as a possible issue"
she said..."fine, I'll give you a referrel and not increase your meds.."and then she huffed her way out of the room with out looking at me.... I go in on the 20th...(not...the end)

Thanks for sharing that, krex...although it is a shame the appointment didn't exactly turn out the way you planned.

May I ask what points you had planned to raise with her?

For myself, I am doing the same thing as Krex and preparing points, however, I am doing them in great detail and I'm going to MAKE my Doctor read them. I have done 6 pages (typed)....and counting so far. I am also bringing in my student records that I recently requested that have every symptom of AS clearly documented. I'm also lucky in that my Mom believes as well that I have AS and she is coming with me

SmallFruitSong and Krex, what are the chances of you getting a copy of your student records and seeing how close they match up with AS? You would be able to bring these records in as well to support your position, if they match up with AS.

my mom had a friend who came up to visit and is a really well known lady in oregon state

i related so well to what she was sayin bout her clients

i then went to go talk to my mom and see what she thought thinkin that the lady had already left

she hadnt and she knew right away

then i ended up in the hospital after a major mental breakdown

they knew immedilty and my life is been fantastic

but 28yrs of hell was not

its been a year this month since my diangosis and life is ever changing and adapting

if youd like to talk to me more please feel free PM or email me at [email protected]

..by requesting referral for assessment, in the course of visits aimed at managing my depression. (almost seems to be a theme here)

He wasn't convinced, broadly because I was "too functional", so I bit the bullet and paid to go privately (I'm in the UK). He was a little taken aback when my view was solidly confirmed. But he didn't offer to refund me!

AS does not NECESSARILY imply the inability to express oneself clearly in conventional terms. It is a problem for some.

@trapped: You are fortunate indeed

About your notes: are you organising them according to the description provided by the DSM?

I might actually start writing my notes tonight...would be beneficial to clear my head, at least.

About student records - not quite sure what you are referring to, unfortunately. Are you referring to school reports, or something more in-depth?

@pepsiprincessBC: Glad to hear your life is better

Once a doctor has said that... well, at the very least they haven't read enough.
And they think that knowing a little is knowing enough. Not good signs.

"AS does not NECESSARILY imply the inability to express oneself clearly in conventional terms. It is a problem for some." --me a few minutes ago.

I talk to people in discussion every day. I present things logically like you wouldn't believe, I've had articles published... and I have AS. Beyond doubt. I've even helped a little with research and my responses there have doubly confirmed this.

@Emett: Yes, depression does seem to a running theme...

When I was being treated for depression, I was also diagnosed with Social Anxiety. Another running theme, perhaps? Doctor actually suggested I had Social Phobia. I guess that was fair enough, considering I was telling my doctor I would not attend my university classes and generally had a patchy attendance record.

As in speech and body language?

Last edited by SmallFruitSong on 15 Jul 2006, 2:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

It varies. The autistic spctrum is a continuum. but not a smooth one.
In some ways it seems more like holding a hand of cards!

You will find Asperger's people with (by conventional standards) awkward speech patterns and/or body language, with or without eye contact anomalies, and with different levels of appreciating "hidden" communication and non-literal speech.

Similiarly for sensitivity to touch/sounds tastes... some but not all.
Or difficulty with physical coordination such as sports or driving: many report problems, but some here like playing sport.

One simple rule definitely does not fit all.

I speak well, and listen with more precision than most people speak (which can cause problems). Humour and double-meanings I have no trouble with.

On the other hand, I'd have trouble getting married, if it meant attending a wedding.

I am organizing them according to the DSM, also adding in issues that aren't directly related to AS but could be indirectly related, or caused by my screwed up childhood.

I wrote to my school asking for any form of record that could have anything to do with any physical or mental disorder or problem, and they sent me back a huge stack of paper which included psychological profiles, psych assessments, parent-teacher interview documents, and it all described in vivid detail the symptoms of AS. I was actually pretty amazed at the depth of records that the school board retains in your personal files.

Krex - poor you, what an abasing experience. Why do these GPs think they know it all? They can't possibly. I went privately, circumventing my GP and then just went to tell him the dx afterwards. Good luck with the next steps.

Small Fruit Song - I didn't have access to school records etc (the nasty place was actually torched to the ground by 'grateful' pupils years ago!) but before I went to specialist I put together a chronology (well-ordered and cross-referenced of course!) of things that I remember people have said to/about me during my life. E.g. starting with my parents' copious exhortations/comments like: 'stop being so literal', 'you're always in a world of your own', 'she never understands what people really mean' etc.

I interspersed this with my memories of what I liked doing, the things I remember being very puzzled about/struggled with throughout life etc (like being totally fascinated with different colored light, playing Lego and not dolls, never understanding what jealousy is, sensory issues etc).

When it was all down on paper, all these were easy to cross reference to the DSM IV 'triad of impairments' (I REALLY object to 'impairments'!). I also added lots of pertinent family photos (uh - toddler me in full 'flap'! etc), pictures/graphics to the final word-processed document. So now I have a really personal and unashamedly celebratory document of my 'hidden AS' life!

Somehow, the verbatim, anecdotal yet well-constructed record seemed to carry weight and was a real, 'celebratory/friendly' help in prompting me when I was in the pressured environment of the consulting room. Although I verbally communicate very well (and can stand in front of hundreds of people and speak/present), in 'authority' situations I think I come across as too logical and sometimes tongue-tied. Thus, the things that I really feel very anxious about don't reaIly come over as important. I think it's essential to a) be very clear how you think you fit the 'triad' and b) have a couple of examples ready/well rehearsed for each of these three areas to tell the GP or specialist as starting points. Good luck!

Helping a friend find the right doctor was exactly how I was introduced to AS. Not exactly an easy project. He had been treated as a drug seeker, knowing from previous experiences Ritalin helped him focus to work. He had trouble with the eye contact and the doctor refused the prescription. My friend also hates the telephone, which made his search that much harder. It took me exactly 39 calls over a month's time to find the right doctor. Several times I was afraid I was going to have to give up, but I could not face disappointing my friend. Eventually, the same doctor's name kept coming up. Imagine my frustration when I was told this doctor was booked solid for the next 8 months. Good thing I am an emotional NT, because the secretary could hear the tears in my voice. My message suddenly got on the pile for the doctor to return. She told me the rest was up to me.

Never give up. It's your life.....everyone is worth proper treatment.

SheDevil

How I got dx'd AS: My marriage ended, I went back on welfare, and I couldn't cope alone. I started going to counseling because I'd done so off & on before. Hadn't any inkling of Asperger's until a shrink brought it up, I thought he was crazy for suggesting it. Throughout my life I'd been dx'd with shifting mental problems (depression, OCD, eating disorder), but not autism-it was a shock. Point being that psychiatrist was person who first connected me to this dx, not other way 'round. That was in 2004.

I worry that I've been wrongly dx'd, that I'm gullible & delusional for believing Asperger's is accurate label for me. It fits me better than other dx's, but the whole situation is too "open to interpretation" & poorly understood for me to be certain.

Apparently-though it's tough to keep in mind.

Same here-more or less.

I got married, but did none of the "normal" rituals. Got piece of paper, signed it, paid license fee & justice of peace, then walked home.
No announcement, no family/friends/gifts/party/outfits/photo/food/honeymoon/rings/name change. I'm not into that stuff-neither was my husband.

Thanks for insightful replies everyone...they've given me much to think about. It's actually sounding overwhelming! Apologies if my responses sound truncated or if I've skipped over people - I genuinely appreciate every response.

RE: school records - not sure if anything was kept on record during my primary school years, but perhaps my high school still has my file. In high school, I was referred to the school counsellor for "anger management" If I could obtain it, it would be interesting to read the counsellor's thoughts.

@Emettman:

I've noticed the variations amongst ASD individuals, both on these boards and elsewhere. Certainly makes it confusing when it's time to make a list, though.



I can relate to that. I do talk slightly off-kilter [my speech is sometimes jerky and apparently I slur some words] but I'm understandable, and also have no issues with humour and double-meanings.

@lupin: Thanks for your story, it was useful to hear what you wrote to the specialist prior to the consultation. It's given me some ideas and reminders about what I could include in my list.

@Belfast: What happened to you was interesting. Although I have to say that personally, I would prefer if a doctor turned around and said to me, "Ever considered you had an ASD?", instsead of me saying to them, "Do you think I might have an ASD?"



If it fits you the best, then the likelihood is the diagnosis is the most accurate for now. As long as you are getting the appropriate treatment for your issues, the label doesn't really matter.

She blew you off because to do otherwise would mean she blew seeing it all along.

It's like taking a car in for repairs and over and over the guy says it's minor,just keep an eye on it and it will be fine. Than one day you go in and start trying to tell him whats really wrong,they always get an attitude when somebody starts telling them how to do their job.

You should see somebody new and let them play hero with a little help from you.

Thanks for the post, I've only mentioned it to my sister and she also blew me off. Somebody I B/S with on the internet who I've never met had little doubt when I told him,he see's it yet my sister had to tune it out or else she would be admitting she never saw it and got me help. She is 6 years older than me,our parents they put food on the table,thats about it. We where on our own beyond that. I'm 47 and just learned about AS last year and haven't gobe to anyone about it.