"You only started acting like you had autism since your

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woo. limited characters for topic title. anyhoo:

do you ever hear from people that "you were fine before, then you went away and got a diagnosis and now you act completely differently"?
or something to that effect?


i can say ive always felt the same ie confused/different, but apparently i have drastically changed in some shape or form...

thoughts?


(and yes, i have been diagnosed as on the spectrum, its just not been "named" so to speak.)

I haven't been told that by people, but I do worry that it has happened sometimes (i.e. I may have become 'more autistic' since diagnosis). It seems plausible that a diagnosis makes the traits seem more acceptable (you have a valid excuse/reason), so you stop trying to hide them as much. This might actually be a good thing of course, it can't be too healthy to constantly try and monitor your own behaviour (as I did to some extent before diagnosis).

I would agree with that statement I don't think anyone deliberately becomes 'more autistic' after diagnosis, just that we are more comfortable with ourselves.

^^^This^^^

So much this. I spent a considerable amount of effort growing up mimicking those around me so that I didn't feel like so much of a freak. Now I don't worry so much if I notice myself stimming, relaxing into a more aspie gait, or paying attention to random details - unless there's a cute girl around that I like lol.

There is some truth to this. Since my diagnosis I have determined I spend too much energy trying to behave like I'm not autistic. Doing this is extremely draining and even counter productive. For example, in the context of my job, if I think more clearly and with more focus when I drop pretenses toward 'normalcy' then perhaps people should learn to accept my incessant pacing and terrible eye contact as just the way I am.

Since I found out I had Autism. I've felt a little change in my behavior when my parents gave me my diagnosis on a sheet of paper. As a young child I didn't know what Autism was so I felt I was normal despite some of the behaviors that I did. It wasn't until middle school when I found out, I looked back at my childhood and realized that "Wow, I was a lot different then I thought". However, when people see me, they really don't see the many symtomes that I show mainly because I'm quiet and hid my autism so well, they barely reconize it. I'd say these changes start to happen when I was growing up because the social structure that's changing as well as the transitions that I faced and gonna face in life. Like what I said before when I found out. "Wow, I was a lot different then I thought".

I can see it in myself too. During my life, I've always thought I showed some inappropriate behavior, I just didn't know what it meant. I used to pretend and hide and was anxiously eager to relate when I was in the company of others. Now it seems I'm a bit too loose upon this subject. However, I'm reluctant to use the diagnosis for excusing myself. I'm self-diagnosed for the time being, scheduled for a professional one.

It seems people around me haven't realized yet that the changes they see in my behavior can be attributed to a significant drop of veiling my true nature.

I've never had anybody tell me that I was different after diagnosis.

It's possibly a combination of people relaxing their attempts to fit in as an NT and other people looking for autistic behaviours which they weren't paying attention to/attributed to something else before.

During the process of my discovery of my own ASA/HFA, I also began dropping all pretense and "just let myself be myself" ... and quite fortunately, my employer willingly read some stuff and learned right along with me and was willingly to also "just let myself be myself". However, we also simultaneously agreed my AS/HFA did not give me any kind of license to not continue being self-aware and equally considerate of others even while "just letting myself be myself" (and I suspect you would say something similar at least about yourself).

It's because of stereotypes. Someone gets diagnosed with AS, they read what someone with AS is like, so they start acting like that. It's not necessary. I have never done it.
AS is not about stereotypes. You can have a special interest without it being about trains or labels on cans of soup describing the ingredients therein. Being diagnosed doesn't mean you are gifted at math or music. It doesn't mean you like science or cannot attempt at small talk (though you might not be good at it or spontaneous about it.) I admit I attempt small talk but don't feel like I am as good at it as others. I lack spontaneous implementation of invariably witty bon mots to satisfy the average small talker. I want to say the same thing every time, and utter the same response.
It's not enough.

No. I don't tell people this for this same reason (I have lot of reasons why I don't tell) and I would also think someone is acting different since their diagnoses if their behavior changed and they all of a sudden started to expect me to listen to them talk about the same things over and over and ask me the same questions over and over just because they have autism. I don't accept that behavior and some autistics think autism a free pass for that so they do it. Maybe they are using it as an excuse or taking it too literal or both.

This is really important. It is not anyone's right to 'be their self' when it causes major friction. Whether on the spectrum or not, I believe we each must find the appropriate balance between self expression and social behaviors that keep things on an even keel. In my case, I have actually limited myself by acting NT at all times. It seems a better path to acknowledge my issues and 'be autistic' within them, but learn what adaptations I must make to be more socially normative.

Anytime I hear someone say "Just accept me for the way I am" I walk away because I knew someone who was like that and he was a jerk (my ex) and I have learned anyone who says that are not good people and won't give a s**t if they hurt you or bother you and won't accommodate you nor respect you. I flipped out at my husband when he said that to me. It was a very scary moment there. I know he isn't a jerk and he is a very sweet and respectful guy and I just couldn't believe he say a thing like that. He is better than that.

Doesn't everyone have moments when they fall from grace? Who on earth is perfect? A certain measure of acceptance is necessary for everyone because people are not perfect beings.
If you want to be around people, accepting them, warts and all, seems part of the deal. I find people, in general, rarely live up to my high expectations. Having high expectations can make me appear narcissistic, anyway, expecting everyone to cater to me and do what I want and be what I expect all the time and I do fall into these patterns and am trapped by them.