Do you know you are wrong when you make a social faux pas?

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My social interactions are usually considered child like. I consciously monitor my actions so I don't appear childish. Sometimes when I think my interaction with someone was very mature they comment on how childish my interaction was and I don't understand why it is so. Despite trying hard I am still called childish.

Not until I get angry stares, or someone pulls me aside to have a chat later.

I can only recognize social faux pas after the fact. Way after the fact. The ones that are recognized are only the small minority. I still don't know about the large majority of them. I don't know which things I said or did were faux pas and which were acceptable. I've given up on guessing. If I care, I will ask someone who knows. Most of the time, I don't care and can't bring myself to care.

The weird thing is that it's way easier to recognize someone else screwing up than it is to recognize myself screwing up. Probably because I can't see or hear myself from the outside. Sometimes I recognize my own screwup right after the fact, usually not though. I do spend a lot of time going "Nope, can't say that. Nope, can't say that. Nope, can't say that. Damn, too late to say anything, I've been quiet for way too long..." in my head.

I notice instantly. I know somebody on the spectrum who doesnt, and I envy the person for it because he doesnt have to experience the following moment while it lasts. Sometimes Im good and can make a joke out of it, but sometimes its just ... *##!&%#! ! Mostly I act as if I didnt understand because the top of disaster is when people notice I understand a *##!&%#!!-situation, because then the situation becomes focused on me being/having a problem.

I can usually figure it out. Too late to say or do anything about it (which is usually right after the words are out of my mouth).

Yeah, this for sure. Watching other people is like watching TV. Everything I ever learned about social interaction or theory of mind, I learned from watching TV.

Sometimes people react so extremely that I twig on there and then but usually I have no clue.

When people change their behaviour in an extreme fashion I go back and think about all the encounters I've had with guilt and angst trying to figure it out and still end up with no clue.

If only everyone were like Harry Enfield and went into great length about why exactly you had offended them, things would be simple.


OI! NOOOOOOOO!


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=286CvvkmXAg[/youtube]


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKfLyz0ip3o[/youtube]

Generaly my wife tells me after the fact. It usually makes sense when I hear it. I don't know why I don't think about it at the time

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. If someone points it out in the moment I apologise and try to make light of it and my wild misinterpretations and/or delivery. It took a long time but I am much better about stopping the mouth before engaging the 'social rudeness' filter. Usually my social faux pas are misunderstandings instead of flat out rudeness/bluntness.

I honestly don't care if someone thinks I am childish... I am always open with my feelings of happiness!

Usually someone points it out to me. Then I feel guilty and I apologize.

How am I to know if I don't realize it? It's not like people come and tell me I'm being socially dumb.

exactly.. I'm blamed for making social mistakes intentionally... so I was wondering what everyone else had to say.

I'm too... My feelings kinda show on my face apparently. I can't hide them.

Usually I realise later, I get the whole... "Oh dear, that was stupid, wasn't it?" thoughts.