No need for routine but need for plan/timing.

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legomyego
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21 May 2012, 12:18 pm

Most people associate autism and aspergers with being obsessed with routines and sameness.
But I find that I am always searching for new forms of stimuli whether sound, taste, sight, or feel.
I do find the need to have a plan and stick to the plan.
I do find some routines helpful but I hate getting stuck in a pattern of repetitiveness....
Could be my creed not to be like my dad but I feel there is more to it then that.
If I have to enjoy the exact same stimuli everyday it becomes boring, and I am always in search of new stimuli.
I do like people to be on time including myself and if I or others are not on times it makes me angry/frustrated.
And I like to stick to what I said I was going to do that particular day, at that specific time.
I expect others to do the same but often they fall short.



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21 May 2012, 2:42 pm

I agree with all of that. I don't have a set routine, and I hate, hate, hate even the thought of working some repetitive 9-5, Monday-Friday job. I just couldn't do the same thing over and over again like that. I prefer a job where the schedule changes from week to week. I feel so much freer then, I can't explain it. However, I am always early or on time to whatever job I'm working or class I'm taking, and I can't tolerate or understand when/why someone else repeatedly arrives late. There's no excuse for that!

I've found that my feelings for work are probably closely tied with the way I shift my interests. When I get an "obsession" (I'd really rather call it a "passion", it sounds better, but whatever), of course I get very into it... but after a while, I abandon it altogether (usually temporarily, though.) Likewise, if I get a new job, I can be really excited and work my hardest at it. After some time (usually whenever training ends and I'm not learning anything new, I've noticed), I end up getting very bored and annoyed by it. This is a real problem for me, as I've gone through three different jobs in the last year and just thinking about it makes me feel like I'll never be happy with a long-term career (no matter what it is.)

I've heard a few Aspie friends complain of similar job/boredom issues, so I don't think that conflicts with Asperger's. If anything, that might very well be a part of it. We are always looking to explore, to move on to new knowledge or skills. Of course, Asperger's and ADHD are often co-morbid, so you might have both. Yet, even when a person doesn't have both, the former is often misdiagnosed as the latter (that happened to me.)



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21 May 2012, 3:29 pm

I describe it as I don't need routine, I need predictability. Routine is just the easiest way to get predictability



btbnnyr
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21 May 2012, 3:33 pm

I need the route of the plan, so I don't need to plan the route.



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21 May 2012, 3:59 pm

I'm the same. Absolutely hate lateness. I'd rather be 3 hours early than a minute late.
I do not follow a strict routine but like a rough plan of what my day consists of. I quite like the way my days are set out at the moment, that schedule of waking up at a certain time and carrying out the same rout to college as well as having specific times to arrive at places during the day. Goodness knows what I shall be doing when it's time to leave college.


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21 May 2012, 10:34 pm

All of the above but I try to straddle the line in a lot of areas, like I'll try to keep my site surfing restricted to later in the evening and on certain days I won't take in any repairs if there's a chance they'll prevent me from getting to my meetings, and I have to have enough veg time between bathing and leaving. I usually won't take any calls before 10 am or after 5 pm and I avoid doing any work type tasks on Sundays



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22 May 2012, 12:12 am

I couldnt stick to a routine if i tried, id get bored with it. Though in a sense i have a very planned out day, but each day varies and i plan it so, i just despise when other people change their plans, that ive planned into my day, right at the last minute....

though theres always room for Jacob in it -always...



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22 May 2012, 1:35 am

I like to plan my time about a few days ahead or some events a couple of weeks ahead. I also don't like when people are being late, I do my best to be on time or a bit early when it's uncertain.

I guess I like sameness and routine, though I like to explore new things too. There's an optimal balance between them.

As a kid and a teen I liked when others told me or otherwise determined for me what to do as long as I could rely on them, I didn't see the point in doing the planning myself. In a sense I learned to plan and control my activities the hard way.


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22 May 2012, 5:08 am

I do the same things day in, day out & that seems to be what I like.

I haven't heard an alarm clock in the last 5 years, though.


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22 May 2012, 5:27 am

I personally have many many routines, but they are mostly based off of trigger events, such as setting up my main music setup, like when I bring it home from practice or a gig or something. First I unload everything in a certain order, bring it upstairs, and set it all in the hallway outside my room in a certain order. Then I set it up in my room and put the cases in my closet. Once my synth bass (or basses) and amp is all put in place in the corner (more like two walls of my room for all the music stuff that I have in my room, but for just the primary stuff, it's all central in the corner for fast easy access), then I must plug everything in using the correct cables - I could use many of the cables in another spot, but I always use each specific cable in the exact same spot. I also must wind my cables up when I put them away in a very certain way, and I also try to keep them mostly coiled for the longer ones, when they are plugged in in my room, with just enough uncoiled to reach an alright distance.

It also happens with packing my stuff up when leaving a place. It all happens in a certain order. Or at a job I always picked up orange safety cones from the ground in the parking lot in a certain way - they were all in a line and I found a very efficient movement to pick them up with the least loss of walking speed (that I could figure out). I personally think it's just goofy to watch people picking up cones in lines in any other way, to be honest. They seem clumsy about it.



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22 May 2012, 6:12 am

Tuttle wrote:
I describe it as I don't need routine, I need predictability. Routine is just the easiest way to get predictability
Same here, predictability is essentia, routine doesn't matter. Friday was a slightly different day from most Fridays, as my husband and I were going out in the evening. So, my parents were coming over for dinner and to babysit. I planned everything, from school collection onwards. Pizza dough was in the breadmaker and the plan was that my daughter would help me, by putting the ingredients on the pizza (which she enjoys). But, when I collected her, she said, 'Can J come to play?' My head was in a spin, trying to work out how to re-arrange my plans, as it's not easy to get anything done, when J is in the house. Strangely J is on the spectrum too, He's very routine oriented and needs loads of notice if the plans are to be changed. However, being invited to play with my daughter, without prior notice, doesn't upset him at all. We got home and she ran straight to J's door, whilst I tried to explain about the pizza and Granny and Papa coming over (she had been told about this several times). Eventually, J's Mum managed to persuade her that she could play with J any other day. What a relief!


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22 May 2012, 8:58 am

I also like to plan stuff. My family hates it! They feel go with the flow of things. My mom "sort of" sticks up for me and understands that planning can be benficial but my other family members sisters/dad mostly HATE IT! :-(



ictus75
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22 May 2012, 9:23 am

Routines and plans are 2 different things. I have routines for certain activities because, well, they work really well and make things efficient. I like to make plans for my day and other activities because they help me keep focused and get things done.

The one thing I don't do well with is sudden change to plans, like if you plan to go out to one restaurant with a group/family and suddenly you end up going to a different one. I don't deal with outside change very well.


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22 May 2012, 10:19 am

legomyego wrote:
Most people associate autism and aspergers with being obsessed with routines and sameness.
But I find that I am always searching for new forms of stimuli whether sound, taste, sight, or feel.
I do find the need to have a plan and stick to the plan.
I do find some routines helpful but I hate getting stuck in a pattern of repetitiveness....
Could be my creed not to be like my dad but I feel there is more to it then that.
If I have to enjoy the exact same stimuli everyday it becomes boring, and I am always in search of new stimuli.
I do like people to be on time including myself and if I or others are not on times it makes me angry/frustrated.
And I like to stick to what I said I was going to do that particular day, at that specific time.
I expect others to do the same but often they fall short.


I second this. Having everything the same sounds extremely boring.


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legomyego
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23 May 2012, 2:07 am

I can understand the other side of the coin and the need for sameness/routine everyday...my dad is this way.
It keeps things predictable and stable I suppose.
I would prefer to have irregular but planned days, that way it is not so boring.
Could have to do with my add...but could also have to do with my love for new stimuli.
Thanks everyone for the reply's and showing i'm not alone in this...but also there are those on the other side of the coin.



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23 May 2012, 6:47 am

My problem isn't so much a routine, or even planning, it's that I don't adapt well to changes other people adapt to. Like when random new people live in my house (my sister's friends) I basically flip out or shut down, and I can't get anything accomplished during that time. So my dislike of "change" is things like that, I don't like randomly flip out because Taco Bell stopped carrying the tacos I used to order everyday or something. On the flip side, in crisis situations, I'm usually much much more rationally thinking than the people around me, and am cool as a cucumber, it's just my problems are adapting to "normal" long term life changes like that. I pretty much never do well when there's extra people living in my house, and I got a friend with NVLD who's the same way.

As far as unplanned activities, it depends on how much of a pain it turns out to be. When I'm by myself, I can be sort of spontaneous in the way I plan things, but it's sorta like...planned spontaneity? Like I do not see it as "going with the flow" it's just me deciding to do something different after thinking about it. One thing that causes me I guess meltdowns and whatnot is if I'm driving, and I'm driving a friend around, and he plans out one errand, and it turns into a big afternoon sorta trip thing. Actually, pretty much anything unplanned while driving causes me problems. It's probably a lot to do with my NVLD and visual spatial issues that come with it, I have to kinda think so hard while I'm driving, that if people add places to go without it being on the itinerary in my head, it screws up everything. So driving is hard, in that, the only way it seems physically possible to do it is me planning it out.

One other thing I'm sensitive to, too, is diet. Like, I can physically eat about anything put in front of me. I like most food, with a few random exceptions. I definitely don't have "narrow" eating habits, and actually to the opposite, my "NT" family members have narrower eating habits. One thing for me, that my mom doesn't understand is, I need to eat healthy to be like, mentally healthy. My mom sees it as a basically some random weird person OCDish kinda thing, but it's not, I just need to eat healthy and buy a few supplements, and my mom doesn't understand that it's sorta like, life and death, not like, literally, but I feel my diet and stuff affects me a lot. I think it falls under life changes that other people adapt to, but I don't. Other people can eat crap and seemingly not be emotionally or mentally affected, even if their bodies suffer, whereas me, I've been more sensitive to things that are blatantly unhealthy for me. Like nobody believed my Aspartame sensitivity, Aspartame is obviously unhealthy as can be, but somehow other people manage to ingest it without feeling terrible, but me, I'd get headaches and stuff, which is sorta good, as it is bad for you, but it makes you seem like a nutter when you suggest what it does to you and whatnot.