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Have you been accused of stalking or following people?
Yes 59%  59%  [ 19 ]
No 34%  34%  [ 11 ]
I don't remember/know/care 6%  6%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 32

EstherJ
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06 Nov 2012, 8:56 am

Ok, so this is by far the weirdest thing I have ever been told.
I was told a few weeks ago that I was "stalking" someone and they said that I must like them because they saw me wherever they were...and they got upset about it.

I go to a really small school...literally....you could see me anywhere.

But NO. My friends say that they can never find me, because I'm in the library, or off in my room studying...because I have Asperger's and like to be off with my special interest alone and with no one to bother me.

Well, they said that they were sorry that they thought I was stalking them....that it's just a "perception" thing, and that its common with people with Asperger's. What the heck?

How? We don't follow people. We aren't stalkers! We don't do it "subconsciously."

Funny, this person knows I have Aspergers but won't tell me specifics (like where he thought he saw me, etc).



Last edited by EstherJ on 06 Nov 2012, 10:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

AProudHillbilly
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06 Nov 2012, 9:06 am

Maybe it's the opposite and he's stalking you.

Or maybe he's an ignorant troll.


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EstherJ
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06 Nov 2012, 10:02 am

I'm going to make this a poll:

Have people accused you of stalking them?

Because now I'm pretty darn curious.



b9
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06 Nov 2012, 10:32 am

i can not care less about what people do outside of my visual field. if i do not have to think about social situations that occur, then i will not think about them.
.
i never follow anyone else's lead when living by myself ( i have always lived alone) because i simply can not be bothered to waste my time listening to everyone, and their wisdom blows over my head.

that is well and good because i do not get it blasted in my face .



Joe90
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06 Nov 2012, 11:26 am

I was often told that I was ''following''. I then began to hate people using the word ''following'' because it felt like a word used against me all the time. One thing what did hurt me the most was when a friend I used to have told me that I was following her, but we had another friend who had learning difficulties and also some social issues and he literally followed us around, but she didn't say anything to him. Other people in the group have said, ''god, he follows us around like a puppy dog!'', but apparently I was the one following, according to this girl. :roll: He literally walked behind us, never hardly saying a word, and just existed in the group. I was actually in the group, and they wanted me to meet them so I did, and we went around together and I walked a lot more than he did and I was always loyal. This girl did not make any sense, so I soon got away from her friendship.

It's like people accuse me of things I don't do, or even if it looks like I'm doing it, it is never too noticeable, and surely people are socially smart enough to know that I'm not doing these things on purpose, because I know loads of non-Aspies who can be clingy, but I still wouldn't turn round to them and go, ''I think you're following me!''
I got accused of moaning the other day when I wasn't even saying anything at all, I was just sitting quietly writing a story. My mum was doing all the moaning, her sister sat next to her kind of agreeing, and I said nothing at all, and my dad yelled, ''all three of you have been nothing but moan all evening!'' And I hadn't even said a word all evening, except a few words what were nowhere near moaning.

Ohh, then people wonder why I become resentful!


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06 Nov 2012, 11:28 am

I had this happen to me before. I would see the same person a lot in a certain time frame, and since I didn't know why they were staring at me, I would stare back, and this must have proved I was a stalker. I must have had bad timing as a kid because that sort of thing happened a lot. I was only accused of stalking a few times (excluding the few times when I actually did stalk someone, but does Facebook count?) and each time I got really angry, which must have proved I was stalker. I was angry because whether I denied it or not, being weird and branded a stalker is a bad combo.



SpiritBlooms
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06 Nov 2012, 12:07 pm

Maybe there should be a poll asking whether anyone has ever felt as if they were stalked. I'm sort of joking, but some of these accusations seem to come from rather paranoid people.

Could it have anything to do with staring? I sometimes am deep in thought and don't realize where my eyes seem to be focusing. I've been asked why I was staring at someone, when I wasn't focused on them at all. I try, because of this, to ensure that if I'm deep in thought or daydreaming I'm not looking in anyone's direction.



EstherJ
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06 Nov 2012, 12:31 pm

I think this demonstrates a few main important points:
1. We don't understand them.

2. They don't understand us.

3. They view the burden of understanding to be on us.

4. They view themselves as faultless

5. We can do no right in this situation.

Ok, so, apparently I got voted to point out the obvious.



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06 Nov 2012, 12:53 pm

Only people that accused me of following them were my "friends" in school. I was just hanging out with them like a normal person like all friends do and I was "following' them? Isn't that what friends do when they hang out? :?

Online there was this one person who accused me of being on every forum she is on and as far as I know, I have only been here, two, and two other places and those are the places she joined herself and I was there long before she joined. I am sure she also thought I am on other forums she goes to so it be pretty interesting if she has accused other people of being me. I have seen her accuse people on one of the forums I go to being other people whom she doesn't like and it was always hilarious. She was just a paranoid so she hardly ever makes sense when she does accusations.


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SpiritBlooms
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06 Nov 2012, 12:54 pm

I would also wonder whether this happens more often with people who know one has a diagnosis and whether it's a kind of bigotry or ignorance-based fear going on.



btbnnyr
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06 Nov 2012, 12:55 pm

I don't follow people. I hide in cubbyholes in the wall, so people don't see me, so they won't follow me or try to interact with me.



Joe90
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06 Nov 2012, 1:07 pm

I was also told at school by other kids that I followed them, which is so ignorant because all I was trying to do is be friendly. And these were other kids in my class, so it's not like I was targeting some random kids and choosing to aimlessly follow them. I was just trying to be friends with people in my class who I had known all this time we gone to school together. :roll:

Stupid people.


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06 Nov 2012, 1:11 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I was also told at school by other kids that I followed them, which is so ignorant because all I was trying to do is be friendly. And these were other kids in my class, so it's not like I was targeting some random kids and choosing to aimlessly follow them. I was just trying to be friends with people in my class who I had known all this time we gone to school together. :roll:

Stupid people.



I remember trying to make friends in kindergarten and kids would tell me don't follow them. I was just trying to make friends with them also. But only a couple of them decided to be my friend. But I wonder if they were really friends or if they were just being polite because I was in special ed. or were we just acquaintances.


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06 Nov 2012, 1:32 pm

Yes, at school, there would always be one person I would latch on to, they would do the socialising and I would follow along. It sometimes got to the point where the person would get annoyed. Others told me I would follow person x 'like a dog'



Magnanimous
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06 Nov 2012, 5:14 pm

No...

... because I've never been caught doing it.
I am skilled in avoidance.



EstherJ
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06 Nov 2012, 6:04 pm

Magnanimous wrote:
No...

... because I've never been caught doing it.
I am skilled in avoidance.


I thought I was too....

Until last week.
But I don't really believe the guy....him saying I stalked him when I only see him once a week at most?

Yeah right.