exposing more wierdness to more people...

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Does anyone else find that when they get more confidence to be around people in general that their aspie-ness gets more exposed to people? I go out more now in public and I find that my oddness scares people! In the past, I just hid from everyone and I was the one who was scared. I do things like carry a blank/mad looking expression, pace, and chew the inside of my mouth alot.

Definitely.

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years and he tells me that I do more "weird things" now than when we first met. I spent many many years trying to supress my wird mannerisms so as not to creep people out, but I have found that once I feel comfortable with someone I am more likely to just let the shield drop.

So now I flap my hands, pull on bits of my hair, etc. My boyfriend knows about AS (I explained it to him) and he is not freaked out by it. He knows I'm not "disturbed" so my atypical mannerisms don't mean very much.

I was reading one piece online where the doc described how people with milder cases of AS who are not diagnosed or don't learn about AS until we are adults usually go through a phase of hyper-weirdness (my words, not his). The general idea is that we've spent our whole lives trying to be NT because we didn't know the extent of our disorder, and when we find out we can *never* be NT we stop trying. Like a pendulum that's been pulled too far in one direction, it swings too far in the other direction at least temporarily, and we compensate less than normal for our age/maturity/situation. People who know us see a very sudden change (regression), and new people we meet get a false impression of our limitations. In time we accept our situation and become more typically Aspie. The trick is to avoid self-pity and depression and focus on preserving the good compensating skills we've accumulated over the years while giving ourselves room to breath, learn and grow.

Hmmmmm..... good point Jetty-baby..... In my case, I think I only ever attempt to appear overtly NT in a professional capacity, so haven't built up enough "tension" for the "snap-back" though. In all my "socialising" (pfff... yeah, right ) I generally always make much less attempt to appear "normal" for some reason, and am generally either hyper or morose (usually the latter) around others when I'm not being paid for it. Life's rich tapestry blah-de-blah.....

Due to recent social circumstances, I've almost stopped trying to hide my weirdness. I seem to be very minor AS in comparison to others here, so my weirdness is not very extreme. Very rarely do I try to hide it.

Some people actually find my eccentricities amusing (not as in laughing at me but with/near me). Many people still look at me like I am a freak. But there are others that find me a "character". Hmmmmm....

i agree with all of the above, apart from the bits of ghosthunter's i don't get (sorry, ghosthunter... ).

I am the pendulum that has been pulled too far in one direction. I was always pretty confident, and I did lots of things that other people considered strange, but I always tried to relate to people in an NT way.

I totally get what Ghosthunter was saying. I noticed this in HS and I started just doing strange things to break that expected behaviour thing. Then I moved away to college, and started over. Eventually I had a group of friends and a girlfriend, and I was feeling more trapped and alone than ever. I found living with roommates particularly unbearable because they were always around. I would come home from dealing with people and putting on a show at work, and just have to put on another one in my own house. Too much work!

I feel right now that I am pretty much done trying to fit in.
I find it almost impossible put on the act now that I know the truth.
I like who I am, and if people want to accept me then that's fine.
My world is full of beauty with or without the "normal" people.

Maybe in time I will be more willing to compromise.

this is the pattern of my life.

i do good masking - it's easier that way. so i can make a great first or second or twelfth impression, if the interaction is superficial enough.

but when i get to know people, ie when i'm working with them on a day to day basis, or neighbors with them, the more i get to know them, the freer i am with my inner freak.

i find about 50/50 acceptance at the point where this starts - people love me or hate me about evenly.

but after about 6 more months, most people at least understand me and don't take my unedited thoughts personally or get insulted by my saying the first dumb thing that pops into my head.

brief, meaningless relationships are easiest for me, like with the claimants i analyze, just talking to them on the phone now and then for a couple months till i'm done with them is easy, and i'm told i'm as nice to these people as anyone ever has been.

the people i'd call friends i've known for decades and they understand me best and get the brunt of my weirdness and keep coming back anyway, and never expect me to act "nice" (read fake) just for the sake of oiling social interaction. so i think it's a worthwhile struggle, interacting with the humans. even if it has its rocky moments... years...

I was really weird as a kid and got punished and traumatized enough to try to squelch some of it, but I was never entirely successful at that. By the time I reached my late teens, I was pretty withdrawn. My twenties were spent trying to be "good enough" for my mate, this was futile. I regret it. I worked my tail off and tried so hard to be what I thought he wanted me to....domestic and a competent wife and mother. But I still scorned "normal" to some degree. And many skills (phone, relating to outsiders, basic independence stuff), were still very hard and beyond my reach. I could NOT learn to drive. There was so much to keep track of, and people never understood my questions or answered them in a way I could comprehend. This made me very dependent on my mate, not a good thing.

As the relationship fell apart, someone came along who had the magic of being able to A: communicate in a way I could understand. He actually taught me to drive! B: Made normalcy and independence not seem so daunting and impossible and most importantly C: Was able to motivate me to want to be as normal as possible. Frankly, I hadn't ever really wanted to before. I accomplished all sorts of things that had seemed impossible. Got a job, a driver's license, a place of my own, moved out, could cope with paying bills and dealign with people all day long.

Then I found out that this person was not even my friend The motivation to be normal died right there. About this time, I began to wonder more intently about Asperger's and was diagnosed. I began to analyze and throw off the parts of me that had only existed to please other people. I acted weirder and stimmed constantly at times. But, I started to feel whole and happy again, complete, and for once, not stressed 24/7 trying to pretend to be what they wanted.

Now I'm free with my inner freak all the time. It's great. If peole don't liek it, I didn't need them anyway.

I think I act pretty much the same whenever... unless of course I actively choose to act unnaturally.

Yes, when I around people my aspieness does get exposed. But by facial expressions and body movements. Also how I act.

i think i've started to give up acting "normal". besides, anyone who knows me for more than about ten minutes EXPECTS me to be eccentric and peculiar. give the people what they want, say i, especially if it suits me (well, only if it suits me, actually).

bet you'd never have guessed i was considered "eccentric", "outlandish", "weird" or just plain "mad", would you?