Do you know how to make friends ?

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. I have always not known how to make friends and have had very few friends over 60 years. I wonder whether it’s a mental illness/psychosis/schizophrenia thing as I have a history of psychiatric illness
That contrasts with a lot of people though with mental illness who have friends or who had a good amount of friends only to lose them as the illness developed.

I haven't got a clue how to make friends. I'm not good at keeping in touch, I'm not good at arranging to meet people, is for drinks and such. I can't start a conversation with someone I don't know to save my life! I have six friends I met in college about 17 years ago. How they still like me after all the times I cancel plans with them and fail to reply to their messages I don't know, but they are valuable to me. They're probably going to be the only friends I'll ever have my entire life.

^^^ You must be doing something right....

Haven't got a clue, and to make matters worse, I'm probably a bit scared to have friends.

Essentially, I want to have friends, but I also have this fear that having friends would result in having to attend more social events. So, although I know that I need a certain amount of human contact to keep from being too depressed, I also tend to resist that very same human contact.

I don't know how to make friends and these days I don't want to anyway. I've watched people with friends and they seem to spend so much time gossiping about other people, going shopping and going to each others houses. I don't like mindless chat, hate going shopping and I do not wish to go to someone else's house and I certainly do not want someone coming to mine.

I hate going shopping, too--let's together!

I hate gossip so much and cant understand why everybody is a natural at it.

Listen to the other person when he/she speaks.

I have trouble with that.....

@Kraftie - Haha, if it's internet shopping I'm right there with you but I'm not coming over to your house and your not coming to mine sorry

Ah man! You drive a hard bargain!

Me as well...

Usually shy/nerdy/ASD/ADHD people are somehow drawn to me. In the right environment it's not hard for me to make friends (at least male friends), in the wrong environment it's almost impossible and people do not also ignore, but also dislike me. So I'm very much polarizing in a sense.

I'd say in some cases the mental illness changes the person affected so much that they will lose all their friends (especially with schizophrenia). On the other hand, many aspies seem to have trouble making friends, if that was your question.

Schizophrenics are interesting people. I've made friends who were schizophrenic.

One has to be wary at times---but, sometimes "word salads" can be very interesting.

Yes,that's very much in line with my question. I can see my paranoia and social anxiety being an additional factor re not making friends , but I had no friends anyway before I got diagnosed with a mental illness. (apart from one friend at prep school that I lost when to public school).
For me it's not a case of had a circle of friends-----> lost the circle of friends when I became ill. I just never had friends apart from the one I mentioned. He was a bit of a misfit like me.

Sounds like you are dissatisfied with this situation..?

I have had friends over the years, none really last that long before they grew tired of me(I assume) and we drifted away or stopped hanging out/doing stuff. Right now I have one friend, he is much older than me and I suspect he might be Aspie as well. We share a common obsession(model trains) and go to shows and such together. Other than that, I have no friends. Even my wife is like a stranger anymore and does nothing with me anymore. I get my attention and affection from my dogs. AD