Sensory Issues Not Believed

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Anyone else feel like their family and friends invalidate your sensory issues/struggles and say some rude stuff? Mine do and demand proof of pain or else they'll guilt me into whatever it is that causes me sensory overload. They will compare my pain to those suffering around the world or something or outright say they don't believe me.

Yes , I came from a family that invalidated just about everything I ever said or did , I know what that feels like . I find it abusive and unfair that they demand proof of something that you can't prove . Then , on top of that , they use their awareness of your discomfort to guilt trip and shame you into whatever it was that was upsetting you in the first place . They sound like Narcissistic sickos who will intentionally influence your community to do the same and try to marginalize and isolate you . Because my ' family ' was like that as well , I have removed myself from them as much as possible and I would never dream of telling them about my diagnosis as it would give them more opportunities to invalidate , shame and humiliate me . Their lack of empathy is what is remarkable , not mine .

I'm practically on the same boat as you described, my family isnt even aware of some of the vast hidrances aspergers makes us go through, when im heavily overwhelmed and want to shut-in they believe im just being on the bratty and rude mood out of pure choice/pleasure, i wish some of them was an an aspie too, so they could understand what's like walking a day with this disability.

Not my direct family most of the time, but further off relatives and other people have been known to do so and I hate it.

"I know some people are in more pain than me, but I'm still in pain so leave me be jerk face" - what I want to scream when they do it, perhaps with some added profanities.

And when they take things they view as inconsistent in my sensory issues and try to use them to disprove me.

I will probably be cutting most of them out of my life again. As I tried to let them back into my life but they simply will not accept the facts. And I've been told by health professionals that some of my family members probably have narcissistic personality disorder or a disorder that has similar traits to it.

It really doesn't make sense for the people we love to demand we bend to their ideals when it hurts us. And I too wish I had someone on the spectrum in my family or a friend.

Thank you all for the replies, I feel less alone and sorry that you know what it's like. I hope our situations get better.

I was told by my uncle when I was 4 or 5 years old to quit my belly aching about the sun being to bright. I was the same as everybody else, and everybody else could deal with sunlight. I spent the next 40 years hiding my sensory issues, because I thought I was the same as everybody else. I walked around outside either squinting both eyes or one eye closed and the other squinted whenever I was outside, or just squinting both eyes inside of brightly lit stores or offices.

When I discovered I was on the spectrum and that part of being on the spectrum was sensory disorders, I finally felt validated that I was different. I finally knew that all people weren't the same, and that I AM sensitive to bright lights, and loud clanging noises. I now wear earplugs in loud areas, and wear sunglasses in most stores and offices, and outside.

Unlike teenagers, I don't get ridiculed by adults, just a lot of stares.

Hi FallingDownMan, I'm glad you got diagnosed and sorry it took so long for you to be validated. Hopefully more stories like these will open peoples eyes and make mentors and family finally ask, "how can I get rid of their pain?", instead of things like, "why are they acting like a martyr?" or "why won't they just accept things as they are and endure?".

i think i've internalised this attitude a bit, i tell myself off for not being able to go through my day as easily as other people because i don't want other people to tell me im being difficult etc so i make twice the effort. the resulting meltdowns from accumulated frustration are usually something i can see coming but i can't do much about it sometimes. e.g. i can't just go and take 10 minutes off at work (tho i use the excuse of "stocking up" to spend some time alone).