Report about successes for getting rid of ASD problems

Post Reply New Topic

Yesterday I saw out of my car a girl on the sidewalk who enjoyed to see her friends and I felt her joy.
Hey I didn't just only see it - I really felt it! Unbelievable! First time in my life I felt such kind of emotion of others!
It's really worth to get rid of the ASD problems it causes you to feel more joy! You can't hide a lack of emotions and empathy anyway. But you may be able to learn to feel emotions and empathy if you really really want it!

I have empathy anyway. I love feeling other people's joy.

Thanks for responding. ASD isn't just a single disease. All of us have different problems and there are at least five different main groups of problems and all of them have quite different root causes. But why do I feel like the only one who is interested in finding and grouping the problems and to cure them with the right mental training afterwards instead of dealing in kinky ways with the consequences only? The brain is able to learn and to improve even the emotional part. Better than dealing with ASD problems is to get over them. Why do all the people give up so easily? Just because some shrinks told them to do so?

^ I'm interested to know more about how you cure yourself with mental training.
Although the "kinky ways with the consequences" sounds good too.

What if you have an excess of emotion and empathy?
What then?

So maybe you could describe what the mental training consisted of that allowed you to feel empathy?

My occupational therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy has been about retraining the brain.

The brain is able to learn even the emotional part. If you learn something new it even generates new neurons in the related regions. And for this it's like for anything else. To learn math you have to do math. To learn to read body language you have to do it. To learn to feel emotions you have to do to feel them. To learn empathy you need to do it. Simple? Yes and no. Yes because you know what you have to do now. No because there are some additional pitfalls. Once I tryed to feel more emotions towards other people I found myself to shutdown any emotions as soon as other people come near to me. It's an emotional self-protection issue for not getting emotional hurt by other people and may be the root cause of my problems and may be the one for several others.

If it comes to women the things get awkward. Shutting down emotions towards others keep also away from feeling attracted. This tells women that you don't really feel attracted even if you totally like them. On the opposite if a woman feels you being attracted to her she feels attracted herself to you. Otherwise she needs a really crush on you before to do so.

What is the way to go now? Learn to read body language and learn to feel much more emotions. Try to recognise emotions in body language and verbal language. Start to feel empathy.
For reading body language you should watch and guess how they feel and what they want to do. Try to imaginary take their position. Ask yourself what the reasons are to use that body posture and movements as the other one does. Get used to it and do it always and anywhere. You'll become trained and better over the time and you'll recognise more and more subtle details. Try it especially on places where people are much emotional. Discos, bars, festivals aso.

Try to read facial expressions of other people as well. Be aware to that you always should have a good mood if doing so. Try a smile and a kind of feeling happy for them if you look into the eyes of other people. The problem why Aspergers don't use eye contact is that we always experienced aggression once we did because looking emotionless in somebodies eyes is recognised by NT people as pure aggression. (Why does he looks such ice cold and emotionless?) If it comes to me I always thought for looking in other peoples eyes as a kind of a pure agression. And once I was young I never looked girls into their eyes because I didn't want to scare them and the girls treated it as me not being honest and didn't liked me because of that. And I didn't even knew whats wrong with me. Because of this I had really bad position and I wish somebody had told me.

How to learn to have emotions? Be aware that you may shut down emotions near other people. Once you are alone try to feel the impressions of the environment. Nice things like as your bed, nice clothing, flowers, pictures aso. Train it. Try to keep feeling emotions once people that you know get near to you and guess the emotions of other people. Try to guess the emotions of other people also while reading their body language. You can even use videos on youtube or the TV for that because the people there are distant and not near to you and can't harm you. Try always to stop yourself suppressing emotions.

Once you are able to read the body language and emotions of other people you are also getting more and more a clue their brain works and get more and more an idea whats possibly wrong with them. People may even begin to look emotional trivial to you.

A sample. I was on a autism meeting a month ago. One guy always did strange unconscious movements because he feels always unsure near to other people. The movement were just defense moves of toddlers. For me it was very clear that he was beaten once he was small. His selfdefense movements saved him a bit and he started doing them unconsciously until now once he is near to other people. This makes him looking awkward and strange and causes other people to refuse him. He has no problems if it comes to empathy. All he needs is sombody who teaches him self confidence and who stops him hard once he tries to show this movements. Why didn't ever somebody help him with that?

That's quite all. I hope this thread becomes the longest and most successful thread here as soon as possible.

I'm still able to shut down all emotions and to stop them as soon as I need. It's one of the first things that I've ever learned. I'm even to good at it.
But you are right. I have to care about and to keep this. It's an ensurance against depression.

Unlike others on the spectrum, I empathise too much.
This causes great mental and emotional suffering.
If I could not care so much that would be great.

It's the opposite thing but the same way to go. You have just to train to be more insensible and to stop feeling emotions unless you allow yourself to have them i.e. by thinking of others which you don't really know that they mostly wan't to trick you emotionally what is not just a rare case. For many people especially women it's even nearly normal. I have seen it to often.

That happens to me as well but often times I just feel annoyed at it because to me it's all fake. I've spent too much of my life observing friendships from the outside and heard girls (men always seem to respect and stand up for their friends more) run towards each other and hug and love each other then as soon as one of them isn't there the rest are talking about how stupid and ugly and annoying she is and how much they hate everything about her, it's funny how many of those girls back from my old school days apparently are still close friends. It all seems to be a game, they are best friends with people they hate and why I don't know. If I have a friend I don't like I just stop being friends with them instead.

I feel happiness for my friends though because I know they're not like that and like me wouldn't even enjoy talking nasty about anyone. I feel happy for them when they're happy I think that's enough. I don't hate other people I just tolerate them because I have to and probably view them as fake because of what i've seen throughout my life until they prove me wrong. I feel joy because of things like people I care about being happy or animals and how beautiful nature is. I find people interesting from a psychological standpoint though.

Empathy? Uhuh... But is that ALL the problem that ASD brings??

Joy from others? That's easy. That's practically why I like being a witness of things. But so are other emotions -- rage, sorrow, desperation, longing, and so on.

Witness. An instigator at best, actually.
But what to do with just knowing and feeling someone's situation? It helps with nothing, and mostly gives nothing but guilt and annoyance.


I think 'empathy' won't make me a good person, let alone a morally better person -- at least not for the first 30 or so years of my life.

I see the dark side of empathy first and foremost -- the scheming, the manipulations, the lies... Before the idealist kind of empathy that is 'compassion' despite having a rather ideal upbringing.
Not to mention getting overwhelmed, confused, and frustrated. I already figured how not to be overwhelmed by anything on the outside, but anything within? Unless I develop the right types of emotional intelligence, then I won't be ready for 'empathy'.



I'd rather get rid of executive dysfunction issues -- so I could control myself better, including whatever I've been 'denied' with. Social skills second if not last.

What's the point of 'being nice and polite' without good executive functioning other than 'passing for NT but is screaming in the inside'?
What's the point of 'feeling someone else' if you wind up more biased and narrow for not having enough awareness and regulation?

The ability to feel empathy is important. It can teach you about individuals that use emotions to project lies and deceit. [the scheming, the manipulations, the lies]. It is a learning experience. You learn from being hurt by scheming, manipulation and lies to detect this trait in other people and to detest it.

It's a big problem if you don't have empathy nor feelings towards other people. There are not just many people who really like ice cold people who act always without any emotions towards other people. Not even if this emotionless people are the most positive and nicest humans on earth otherwise. Would you like and marry a guy who not even feels real attraction to you because he's unable to feel in such way? May be some hookers don't care if he is wealthy enough.


Not for people like me.


Whats wrong with rage? What's wrong with longing? Fulfilled longing is one of the most beautiful emotions that humans are able to feel. Longing was one of the few emotions that I was always able to feel. But you are always longing for an other kind of emotion even if the longing feels the same.


Thats not the point. Without empathy you are nearly unable to cause others to really love you.

I think for the most part, I just grew out of most of it. This is harder for those who identify with, and as a result are emotionally attached to, the label of Asperger's.

Buddha said attachment is the root of all desire, which is the root of all suffering.