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Mountain Goat
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04 Nov 2019, 6:02 pm

I am too open to share my life with others. Is that because I have traits or is it because of my Christian background, or is it my character or a mixture of all three?

Are people who are on the spectrum more likely to be open?


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kraftiekortie
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04 Nov 2019, 6:50 pm

I have always been "too open," too.

It's a characteristic of anybody who isn't "socially aware."



Mountain Goat
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04 Nov 2019, 7:01 pm

Yes. I have always puzzled what socializing is. When I have thought I have been socializing by working or something like that, it really puzzles me when someone asks me "What do you do to socialize?" I mean... Isn't meeting a work collegue or two and a few customers socializing?


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kraftiekortie
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04 Nov 2019, 7:05 pm

Yes, you are "socializing" when you talk with work colleagues and customers. That's true.

"Socializing," amongst regular folks, though, usually means hanging out with people outside of work. Because that means you want to hang out with them, rather than being forced to hang out with them.

When you're at a wedding or any such gathering, people tend to "socialize." And the "socialization" usually consists of small talk and speaking of non-controversial things.



Mountain Goat
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04 Nov 2019, 7:19 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Yes, you are "socializing" when you talk with work colleagues and customers. That's true.

"Socializing," amongst regular folks, though, usually means hanging out with people outside of work. Because that means you want to hang out with them, rather than being forced to hang out with them.

When you're at a wedding or any such gathering, people tend to "socialize." And the "socialization" usually consists of small talk and speaking of non-controversial things.


Small talk is what women do. Yes? Wierd talk about the weather... Where if I try to learn the clouds so I can join in, they don't want to know. Talk about Mrs Jones' left shoe or something odd like that. I switch off.

Talk about people... Who said what and to whom etc... I switch off. Why does anyone need to know? Is of no practical value because they are things that no one needs to know.

But if they talk about how to repair a car or something practical, at least I can start to follow a conversation... But they look at me daft for suggesting it.

But then men do the same sort of things talking about dates with women or how drunk they got on a night out. Things which I also switch off to because I don't want to get drunk. Why should I? It serves no purpose. I get anough dissoriated in the depths of a shutdown. I'd hate to be drunk as well!
And besides. The few times I have been tipsy, I have just sat there and been very dissapointed and miserable with myself. I think "What have I just done?" I get depressed because I can't do things. It is horrible. I just don't see the attraction...

Yet when people say to me they go to a pub to socialize... Why do that? Get drunk and miserable and then lie and say you have had a good time, and then go sick and wake up with a headache? What? A good time? I don't think so!

I have never had a hangover in my life.


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kraftiekortie
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04 Nov 2019, 7:23 pm

I've never gotten drunk myself.

There are people who will talk about repairing cars, and not look at you "daft." Especially people who are into "blue collar" things.

I don't ever go to pubs or bars.

My wife gets on my case all the time about not being "sociable." She doesn't like it that I like to be on my tablet all the time, watching YouTube travel stories.



Mountain Goat
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04 Nov 2019, 7:26 pm

You must have a good wife. She cares about you. :)


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kraftiekortie
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04 Nov 2019, 7:28 pm

Sometimes, she's pretty decent. Other times, she's a pain in the tushey.



Mountain Goat
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04 Nov 2019, 7:32 pm

Makes me think though. Why people punish themselves by getting drunk and then say they had a good time when the evidence is that they had an aweful time.


Question. Are open people more truthful?


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kraftiekortie
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04 Nov 2019, 7:36 pm

I feel that people getting drunk THINK they're having a good time. And they might be having a good time AT THE MOMENT WHEN THEY ARE GETTING DRUNK.

But when the crap hits the fan (when they wake up next morning with hangovers), they often talk about what a waste the drunk life is.

I tend to trust people more if they are open----than if they are reluctant to be open.



Mountain Goat
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04 Nov 2019, 7:46 pm

The first girlfriend I had. So many hidden things. So many lies or halftruths!


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kraftiekortie
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04 Nov 2019, 7:46 pm

Most lying and halftruthing is borne out of some sort of shame. Or some sort of fear of retribution.



Mountain Goat
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04 Nov 2019, 7:54 pm

You may be right there. She was dating others the same time as she was planning on marrying me... And she had even hidden that she was already married. She had soo many things hidden.. It is lucky that I never did marry her.


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kraftiekortie
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04 Nov 2019, 8:08 pm

Just your luck, Mountain Goat---you really had a whopper there!

Most women are not like that.



Mountain Goat
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04 Nov 2019, 8:16 pm

I also discovered that she was narcistic. Uhmmm. I had never even heard of the term until looking back a couple of years after dating her, where on the internet someone described the condition and it was her. I mean... She was wonderful to date and then it just ended... And I was so in love at the time that I had blinded myself to the truths. And it ended suddenly without warning. I didn't even know that it had ended. She just too revenge (I never knew it was revenge. It was soo subtle but cost me a few thousand pounds...) and then she just broke all contact and blocked all means of contact.


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kraftiekortie
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04 Nov 2019, 8:18 pm

For some reason, I'm thinking you co-signed on a loan with her.

That happened to me.