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Do you believe that you are putting your self at risk by telling people you have autism who dont understand?

Yes.

EVERY decision involves risk.

Based on being on this board and reading reactions to people disclosing I can say there is no way to know how people will react. Members have gotten reactions ranging from "Of course, we knew it all the time" to "you are faking it", "stop using a label as an excuse" from being infantilized to being given accommodations and understanding.

It is a catch 22 if nobody discloses these wrong stereotypes will never be broken, but you do take a risk that will harm yourself with educating anyone.

I've only been diagnosed for a little over a year. I was so relieved and even elated right after receiving my diagnosis that I wanted to tell the whole world. I felt like I wanted to blurt out to total strangers such as cashiers at grocery stores: "I'm autistic!". I refrained from doing so.

I have been selective about who I've disclosed to. To date it's been my wife and kids, The IEP team at our children's school and the adults of autistic children support group. That's it. I haven't disclosed to anyone at work since I don't need any accommodations. I have favored "soft disclosure" at work. Meaning, telling people about my various sensitivities but not tying them to autism because there's no reason to do so.

I may expand the circle of whom I disclose to in the future, but I'm comfortable with my current situation at this point.

Yes, it's sad that we have to be careful who we disclose to. I have been very limited in my disclosure and have not had any problems yet. The comments above have me concerned about some further disclosure I was considering.

You should probably be more specific about who you were thinking of disclosing to. The phrase "who don't understand?" could have several meanings.

I do envy those aspies you see on YouTube who proudly label themselves "autistic". If you do decide to disclose to someone who you think has little knowledge of ASD, try something like "I'm on the spectrum" and see if they know what you're talking about. I'm fascinated by the labels and the way people react to them but realize it might be painful to disclose too widely.

I've generally had success with things like "loud noises give me a headache" or "I don't like large crowds" or "you need to tell me if that was a secret or if you want me to tell my family for you. I am not great at picking up on that sort of thing." You don't need to tell people you're autistic usually...and I wouldn't do that at all myself, since I am not formally diagnosed and only suspect I have it. I just tell people what they need to know about my struggles or differences if/when I think it would be helpful for them to know.

It can also be more helpful to describe vs. label because many people have a preconceived idea of what autism means, and that may not fit you. If they hear "autistic" and think of Rain Man or Sheldon from Big Bang Theory or their cousin or whatever, and you aren't like that, you haven't helped them understand you better.

Diagnosed 3 years ago and only my wife, my boss & my employers HR department know, and that is how it will stay.

I never tell anybody. I'm too ashamed of it.