BastetsEye wrote:
I Kinda like the whole constant state of not feeling real and/or the world not feeling real.
Okat I did have a existential crisis when I was 15 because of it, but now I've sort of adapted. Though whether or not it's a healthy adaption is up for debate, but the way I see it, if my my thoughts and feelings on the subject are not hurting anyone I don't see why I shouldn't believe them.
As far as I'm concerned the world isn't real, it's like the aboriginies believe, it's a dream. And when we're dreaming we accept the rules as part of the dream, When we begin to question the rules thats the begining of coming out of the dream. In my mind it explain so much of the weird and idiotic behavior of nearly everyone else. And pain or fear I feel...well who hasn't dreamt and felt fear, or even been convinced there in pain.
It doesn't mean I'm going to do anything to test the theory, because to be quite framk, since I'm aslepp I only know the rules of this dream world, and how dremas work medically here, I don't know what the medical rules are back in the real world, medically wise, and I don't want to make it so I'm permentally here, or dead/hurt in that world.
Anyway it doesn't have to be a dream, I could be in a coma, or a VR sim, or having a mental delusion and I'm actually in an aslym. or I might not even exist, I could be someone else delusion, (which in which case, they have real issues, and I hope I never meet them, because delusion or not, I'll thump them!). But still I adhere to the rules I mentioned above.
The only time It really unnerves me is when I have Deja Vu after the fact, and it feels like theres a lose connection somewhere in my brain relating to memory.
Or when I look down at my arm and logically I know it's mine but I feel no connect to it. I remember when I was in my early teens, I felt abit like I robot that was inside my head but had connected my system to the brain so I could experience everything the person's who's brain I was in.
So you ALWAYS feel like this?
I DID kind of feel wierd around 8 or so, almost like I just appeared here. I still had my old memories, but I just felt totally out of place. I was also different. Perhaps not in a way anyone else could discern, but I was.
At various points my dreams seemed more real than this reality, and some aspects of this reality DO seem illogical, but I always end up coming back here. 8(
I do often feel disconnected from my body, etc..., like a robot. Even with my perception. I remember how so much was almost a part of me, and the lack of any describable experience was understandable and expected. Today, I am left wanting something more tangible. On my memory, for example, much is by feeling. I like that because it IS faster, etc. Seeing would be more tangible and comforting though.