Banned For Asking Questions

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Ever get in trouble for being you?

Allow me to explain. A little over a year ago I was diagnosed with a potentially serious condition related to my pregnancy. It's not rare, but it's uncommon. I was obviously frightened. I had a lot of questions early on, especially since oly about 50% make a full recovery without some intervention. I was blessed to be that 50%. In the mean time I sought comfort in the one support forum the internet has for this condition. Because I asked so many questions and knew so much about it, I was kicked out due to my "anxiety level". Um, you hear you have a condition that you could require lifetime treatment and have lifelong disability (or death) from and I wasn't supposed to worry?

The problem was "all my questions". Well, medicine is my "thing", my interest anyhow. So yeah, I asked a lot of questions. I guess I was a thorn in the butt of a few of the people who had medical degrees already, and the moderator banned me. I felt really lost and alone after that. No warning, no "hey can you chill with the questions"...nada. Just banned. One day I couldn't log in anymore, and the modrator sent me a scathing letter about how I needed mental help for my "obsession" with my condition. I did heal, I'm better now, it's all behind me. But I do wonder...have you experienced similar for basically sucking at etiquette? I guess NTs may have these questions (I always had people say, "Hey Siuan, great question!") but they know better than to ask?

This happened some time ago, but it's one of those WTF moments that has stuck with me.

It's the people who grab onto a subject and hang onto it like a pitbull until they are satisfied with the outcome who make the new discoveries and change the world.

I've had people get annoyed with me for asking too many questions. Ironically that happened too often with autism consultants and special ed teams.

That sucks. I have never been banned for that but when I was in high school, kids would get mad at me for asking too many questions. Teachers seemed to make a big deal about it in my IEP meetings because they write it on the IEP page about me and they mention it at the meeting.

When I was in the hospital with pneumonia, I asked the doctor a question about my treatment. I thought it was a pretty normal, harmless question. I think I asked why he had decided to give me a certain drug or do a certain test. I wasn't feeling anxious; I was simply curious because medicine is also one of my main interests. He didn't even answer my question. He just said, "All right, I'll get you something for your anxiety." Then he left without giving me a chance to explain that I wasn't anxious. From then on, I was forced to take valium four times a day. When I got home, I went through an unpleasant withdrawal including insomnia, depression, and anxiety.

It just goes to show that if people feel a bit intimidated by someone who is obviously very knowledgable, rather than engaging with them to share in this knowledge (and doing their own research and reading to learn more) they would much rather just kick you out.

They find it easier to kick someone out than admit that they just don't know all the answers!

Siuan,

I am just going to take a wild guess and place my bet on you having asked a few questions that one, or more, of the "experts" couldn't answer.

You know a lot of the experts on internet forums are phoneys? Really, it is just too easy and too tempting for some kinds of people. Somebody like you catches them out...often without realising.

M

It took me a long time to realise it but much of life is nothing but myths. Doctors especially like to give the impression of ominiscience.

My NT husband once was in hospital on a regular basis for dialysis following kidney failure so he became quite knowledgable about how it should be done. After a while, he was being treated by poorly trained staff and complained about it. The next thing he knows, a psychiatrist is sent to see him ! !

*stunned and outraged*

It could have been the result of any number of variations, the mod being threatened, time to move on, etc.etc. Whatever the reason, the lessons need to learned. Sure it hurts. Been there, done that and it's the ego that rings the bells and whistles about poor me and wtf did they go ahead and do that to ME. How dare they.

But, the truth is - as unpopular as this may sound, it's all for the best and for the learning involved. You just brush yourself off, glean the wisdom and move on. Maybe using more tact, flexibility in the future.

~*~