child abuse taught me social ques through adversity

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is there any one here on WP that can say the same?

Let me give you an example, my parents used to hurt me when I did not act normal so I became a great actor. Now since my dx I feel like an actor in retirement.

However, I feel very strongly that I have developed the ability to pick up on social ques as a result of growing up in a home where it was a matter of life and death to study my parents faces and gage their moods.

The gift of poor parenting seems to have taught me at least some things that have been useful.

Does this resonate with anyone?

Sure! It resonates with me. However I found it didn't stop with child abuse from my parents, but went into domestic violence, spousal abuse, victimization in school, college, work, just walking down the street and being harassed and beaten and gang raped cause 'she is just a ret*d!'

I have learned to walk with purpose and make wild faces and laugh maniacally when approached and I am afraid, cause it is not a 'sure thing' to harass someone too crazy to be frightened and they go for easier prey.

I have learned not to trust wholeheartedly until I have verified and observed other's dealings with more than just me. I have learned that just because they are in a position of authority or management does not mean they don't have their own agenda.

so yeah. I truly hope I am not raped again in my life, and I also hope I am not spotted as an easy mugging either. I hope I do not have what feelings that pass for romantic love blind me to the actual intentions of others, either.

Merle

aye

I disagree with child abuse and hurting your child to make him pick up on social cues. My mom does the same thing to me, it only makes my problems worse. When my mom gets physical, I feel extremely hurt to the point of insanity. I contemplate crazy things, like getting back at her by burning the house down. I always end up doing something crazy when she behaves this way because of my emotional tear from her physical behavior.

I am sorry for what has happened to you, and hope you find the healing you need.

I think my son did a lot of this when he was little. Figuring out how to read his dad and gauge his moods and thinking patterns so as not to get hit. I never could think it out quick enough to avoid the getting hit part. He's very adept at it though. He can tell most people's moods pretty quickly and has developed a kind of ESP on how to deal with them because of it. Amazing.

I'm sorry about the abuse that you've all had to go through. It seems that the abuse has taught you many things.

It may have 'trained' some of us to behave normally for fear of punishment, but it's not right.

My mother used corporeal punishment whenever she thought I had I misbehaved and I hated her for it. I misbehave at school, mother gets a phone call, Lumina gets an a$$ beating when she gets home from school or sat in the corner while home for lunch without explanation.

Thank you every one for all yr responses to this thread.

I have done much study on this subject and it seems to make perfect sense to me now how, a highly advanced set of adaptive tools, forms out of emotional and brutal necessity and subsequently came into play for me at a very young and tender age.

These skills have enabled me too greet the world, but have only led me to a well that I can never truly nor deeply drink from.

The distortion of my personality has resulted in me suffering from on going mental health problems over the years.

I do not advocate abuse in any shape or form, however, out of my experiences I have learned many things that are of value with re the human condition and spirit.

Much peace and love to you all.

Recently Alice Miller died and I purchased all her available books (about ten), four of which I have read and now have begun the fifth: "The Untouched Key" and before this one:
Drama of the Gifted Child
Thou Shalt Not Be Aware
The Truth Shall Set You Free
Tearing down the Walls of Silence
While I read I am also writing my own "brand" of very short poems, which helps me greatly to understand and retain knowledge.
Bob

I think the abuse I suffered as a child taught me a few things. To try and gauge how the abuser was feeling and therefore how safe I was was useless, because from minute to minute it was different. Instead, it taught me to be quiet, to keep my opinions to myself, to try to please everyone, and to be extremely polite.

The healing journey I've been on since then has been very important, as I think I know myself a lot better. It took me a long time to learn that I was worth taking care of, and now I value myself quite a bit.