.....you might be an aspie.

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I will start.

If you have more pets than you do friends.....you might be an aspie.

If you have bought an item of clothing for the sheer tactile pleasure of wearing it....you might be an aspie.

If you have to dumb down your vocabulary for anyone to understand what you are saying.....well, you could be an aspie.

hopefully you get the idea, the funnier the better.

You might be an aspie if cardboard cut out people in shops distress you.
You might be an aspie if you enjoy watching cartoons more than soaps.
You might be an aspie if you would rather be alone than have to make eye contact.
You might be an aspie if getting dustmites out of the bed and under the microscope makes an intresting evening.
You might be an aspie if everyone misses things like the pixals going on the tv and you are the only one who can spot it.
You might be an aspie if you played hide from the humans when you where a child.
You might be an aspie if you hear someone walking nearby to then realise there all the way down the road.
You might be an aspie if you can smell that the man who is all the way down the road has a dog that has just pooped.
You may be an aspie if wrapping a pillow around your head makes you relax.

....clowns scared you as a child and they still freak you out as an adult.
....you open three rolls of quarters, hoping to find all the minted state quarters...and are disappointed to be short two.
....you create a laid out map of said state quarters on your kitchen table.
....the state quarter map stays out on the table for a week. You eat sitting on the couch.

....the Library of Congress Call Numbers confuse you, because you've memorized where all your favorite subjects are on the shelves.

I'll think of some more today...

YMBAAI, you can calculate orbitals path in your head but are totaly hopeless at filling your tax report for the year

YMBAAI, when cleaning-up the floor, you do it tile by tile (or follow any patterns that happens to be on yours...)

YMBAAI, (for musicians) you end playing that song and notice that you were "zoned out" all along.... and you made no mistakes

YMBAAI, your door keys are ready in your hand miles before reaching the said door, add "ADD" if once you're at the door, you start looking for your keys cause they're no longer in your pocket

... you would rather hold a red-hot iron pipe than give a handshake.
... you can recite pi with 40+ digets, but couldn't remember your mothers birthday if you life dependet on it.
... you look up in order to answear your friend who just asked; "what's up?".
... if quantum physics make perfect sense, but parties doesn't.

YMBAAI your immediate reaction to someone falling down is to laugh and NOT to run and help.
YMBAAI you would rather sit home and research your current special interest then go to the family reunion.
YMBAAI you know 27 words for alone and can say it in 14 languages but can't figure out how to talk to a member of the opposite sex.
YMBAAI you spend your free time (after researching your special interest) surfing WP.

The only part of your job you despise is the """""fun day""""".

You might be an aspie if you read encyclopedias/dictionaries/thesauruses for fun.
You might be an aspie if the most fun you have with other people is if they're fictional.

YMBAAI at school, you don't fear classes, tests and exams but the pauses.

YMBAAI you know the stats of all your computers by heart but have to think for a while when asked for your age

YMBAAI you asked whether you can watch when 'fox and rabbit say goodnight to each other' (if a place is described as where fox and rabbit say goodnight to each other' in German it just is remote)

YMBAAI Friday night is for reading about your current special interest.

Aspie-rations topic

You find theory easy and the practice of it so difficult.

You are the only one who can find a needle in a haystack.

You are the only one to find a haystack in a needle.

You can focus for hours on a single problem/issue/task and not get bored
because the problem has mushroomed into a multifaceted issue/task.

You just might be an Aspie.

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

YMBAAI... uh, um, errr... AAAAAAUUUGGH!

...you feel being in love is a chore because you have to spend so much time with him/her instead of researching your special interest.

If you strained your eyes so badly trying to maintain eye contact, you had to go to the optometrist.... you might be an aspie.

You might be an aspie if you find it relaxing to spend a lot of time looking at yourself in the mirror alone in the bathroom.

You might be an aspie if you feel disturbed if your socks are removed from your feet.

You might be an aspie if you find bubble wrap extremely relaxing and entertaining.

You might be an aspie if you enjoy watching baby shows because they make a big deal out of everything.

You might be an aspie if your shoelaces are often untied.

.....you write a love note to your spouse in binary. [no kidding...received one!]

.....a relaxing evening includes Star Trek/LOTR/Monty Python, flannel jammies, and a cat.

.....you attend your first political caucus and are relieved to see a bulletin with the exact schedule of events...and they stick to it!