Has your ego ever been shattered?

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Growing up, I had a reputation amongst my classmates, teachers and family members for being intelligent. As it is expected, my outlook on life was consistent with that of most people who grow up being told that they are more intelligent than their peers. In high school I never doubted for one second that I was more intelligent than almost everyone, and I even carried some of that attitude into college. But then I graduated from college, couldn't find a job to save my life, and that's when my ego took a plunge. Now I feel unintelligent (iq a point or two above average, since I managed to finish college), and can't get this idea out of my head that my college education was a four year charade. Think about this: I forgot almost all the technical skills I was supposed to have acquired in college, I am a below average worker at my current job, I have a hard time speaking clearly and articulating coherent sentences, I am a slow reader, and I never learned how to play the role of a young, college educated professional. Yeah, my ego has been shattered, and my dreams of grandeur are long gone. Now I worry about simple things, like paying the rent and not getting fired from my dead-end job.

Growing up, I had a reputation amongst my classmates, teachers and family members for being intelligent. As it is expected, my outlook on life was consistent with that of most people who grow up being told that they are more intelligent than their peers. I thought I could do anything: graduate valedictorian, accumulate many nerd friends, and get a full scholarship to Yale or an equivalent school (*world-weary chuckle*). When I went to high school after being homeschooled for a while, I found that I was, while still of a high intellectual caliber, a mediocre student. I have a 2.9 GPA and had to drop a course. I can't be a workhorse like these awful, snobbish overachievers can. Without academic achievement nobody believes that you're smart or, more importantly, worthwhile, especially not your father. And the nerds don't like me, because my way of socializing is not pleasing to them (you know it's bad when. . . . .*world-weary chuckle*). And I am not going to Yale. So I have to make my identity from scratch again.

Nya nya, I lost my innocence earlier than you.





(*world-weary chuckle*)

Since I didn't even find out about my AS until AFTER high school- and then REALLY in depth only about a month ago- no.

I used to think I was a brain-dead moron.

I was in mostly remedial classes in school, though my last semester in high school I DID MAKE THE HONOR ROLL- my problem with it was that I got a B to do it. A B?! !! !! !! ! A FREAKIN' B?! I gave it my all, and that's all I got. I was furious over it.

I dropped out of college after one semester, and in my eyes, never made a wiser move.

I've been working since then, almost have my own business off the ground, have a beautiful girlfriend who I think is "the one", and seem to understand the world of business overall very easily, just by doing some studying on Wikipedia, working, and selling things on eBay.

So no- my ego has not been shattered. Now I DO think I'm smarter than everybody...and so far, no one's proving me wrong ;D

When I was 12 years old, I didn't know what an ego was. I asked my brother, and he told me. I then asked him if I had one; he said, "You have the smallest ego of anyone I know." I suppose it's so minute it is difficult to hurt. Not to say I don't have problems, but mine tend to be more along the lines of mortal terror than wounded self-esteem.

That was exactly what happened to me after I graduated with my first degree.

As a result, I came to the false conclusion that further education would be a waste of time.

As it turned out, I was just suffering from being an Aspie in a rough job market. Once I went back and got a second degree, I became more valuable in the market, and doors opened to me. But I wasted a lot of time in dead-end jobs before I finally got desperate enough to go back to school.

I strongly encourage you to go on to higher education if you can. I really think it's one of the best tools for Aspies to overcome our social disadvantages.

No. And in recent years I've realized my life is actually too good.

I have more or less overcome most of my anxiety issues with sheer willpower (I recently found out that I was using cognitive therapy on myself). It even looks like I'm going to graduate high school with no real regrets, heck I even have a date for my senior prom (not attending could have become a future regret).

In fact I just wrote my last major essay in which part of the title is: "An Unbroken Life".

I'll probably have experiences that normally would shatter someone's ego in the future. But I've learned to take my failures in stride, learning from them as I go. So I can't say I ever really will. But I know nothing of real hardship, nothing at all. So perhaps I will. There's no real way to tell.

I seem to have misplaced my ego. *looks under carpet*

Yes, my father broke my heart, which in turn broke my ego.

I lost most of my confidence because of him and my grandmother, and I think I'm such a horrible b****.

I guess so. I used to vacillate between thinking I was smart, and then not.. I was actually doing fairly well, until recently. Now I have enough real problems, that it puts things in perspective.

As even Dr. Albert Ellis would teach you, it's not because of your father and grandmother that you lost your confidence- it was your own thoughts about the situation. You lost your own confidence.

Seriously- check out Dr. Albert Ellis's REBT stuff- REAL interesting, and works great too!

It even tastes like chicken ;D

Well, I was a little girl. How could I not believe their abusive comments?

Something like this happened to me in high school. I was in all the top classes in Year 7, then when I got to year 8, due to getting slack in year 7 english, I was now in the bottom class. I fought tooth and nail to try and climb back up, and was first in the class for the first semester. I even scored higher than some of the kids in the top class. But, no invite for me, I was left in the bottom class.

My self esteem took the biggest hit it's ever had, and I've never fully recovered. I have never been able to work myself to that intensity and it made me feel like crap.

I'm at uni now, but looking back, if I had been invited to join the top class again, I'd be so much better I think.

I think of this quite often. I am not a stupid person. I achieved four college degrees, with decent grades and did particularly well in English. I believe that my strong reading ability stood me in good stead in any course requiring a lot of reading and study, even if it wasn't directly related to my major. Math was tougher, especially algebra, but I still managed to get Cs and sometimes even a B.

Non-academic areas of my life were different, however. I tended to be clumsy when it came to athletics and was not a social whiz, either. I realized only later that there were people who did like me, but the bullies overshadowed that. There were a few people in middle school I tried to go out of my way to avoid.

I sometimes do things I consider incredibly stupid and klutzy, and it embarrasses me.

Good point, children are especially vulnerable to that kind of abuse and it takes it's toll on them as they get older.

Many, many times.

Mine got clobbered over 30 years ago, when I flunked out of engineering and shuffled myself to an associate degree technology program. On the job, I couldn't deal with OJT, social concerns and untrained bosses fast enough so that didn't help. All in all it took about 4 years to put myself back together.

Gorilla glue is really good stuff. I recommend it.