Meltdown Details

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Ive noticed that people describe Meltdowns very vaguely and rarely do we get any specific examples of meltdown situations, so i was hoping maybe some people with diagnosed Aspergers/Autism could give us some examples of meltdowns they've had, like what they were doing, where they were, what set it off, etc...

Personally i have not been diagnosed, but am certain i must be somewhere on the spectrum, and it would be nice to compare some of my experiences with actual events to see if what i had WAS a meltdown or just stress overload or whatever.


Thanks.

Here is a thread where people give details of different kinds of meltdowns:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt81289.html

In the original post, I describe my friend who's meltdowns happen very quickly and he just blows his top....They happen over stuff like him losing his glasses, or things not going according to plans...

For me they can often be set off by something relatively minor..like a sudden change of plans...
I don't always know when something is gonna cause me to have a meltdown or not.

My last meltdown happened because my BF told me as I was about to go out with my parents that I had to go to a meeting that afternoon, that would have completely cut into my outing...and I blew my top and started shouting "NOOOO" and I ran out of the house and then I was really agitated and it took me hours to recover.

I don't remember specific incidents of meltdowns unless I write them down. My memeory surrounding them often becomes very blurry and dissolves like the kind of memory one has of dreams. When I have them, I usually mention them someplace on WP..otherwise I wouldn't remember.

I am prone to have meltdowns if I drink too much...I will become very irrational and irritable and possibly start yelling...or being verbally abusive..and my thinking will become very rash.

I'm not real sure if these are counted as meltdowns but...

My brain gets so overloaded I can't concentrate on a single thought. This is often when people say too many things that confuse me.
If a bus is more than 20 minutes late I start freaking out. Like, I had to wait I think 40 minutes for the next bus so I walked zombie-like into my favourite store and sat down and looked at shoe boxes while I was rocking back and forth. It took a long time to become calm again.

I don't blow up in front of people, I can keep it all to myself by what I call suffering in silence.
I often do cry though.
Today I was so overwhelmed and I wasn't sure why, but sure enough when I got home I started crying.
Every time I'm in the city and there's a lot of people around I've just got to get out. I don't really understand why.

I have no crisp reply for this Q, because I'm still working out what is going on with me in this respect. I can say that I'm in a kind of extended, 3-year, quasi-meltdown where I am always on the edge of an unmodulated emotional response and a tirade is always around the corner. I think it is the PTSD in combination with sensory integration dysfunction that makes me experience the quick stress physical response peaks. I.e. the hypervigilance and hypersensitivity edges me in and out of meltdown territory easily.

I AM posting here some stuff from a thread I started a few weeks ago asking about Adult Meltdowns, when I didn't find much info on the web:

Poll: Still Having Meltdowns? How Long Does Distress Last? (Click for thread related to poll)

I have meltdowns after overstimulation like Aspie children do... they are over quickly. 30%
I have meltdowns after some stress builds up from problems... I go into tirades that last a while. 50%
I have meltdowns only when I try to repress some long-term problem... then I rant and rampage until that problem is solved 11%
I have no meltdowns, just a lot of anxiety ... is this where my stress disorder came from? 7%
I have no meltdowns... I have found balance in my mind and body as a Buddhist Monk! 0%

I have counted it as a meltdown when I sort of lose it in front of other people.

Once I was at home alone, and Flakey was out, and we had a bunch of guests show up, who made me nervous for no good reason..., and i just sorta lost it, and started crying in front of them..It was incredibly embarassing, and I had no control over it, and I couldn't just go in the back and escape because I was the only one there...and the meltdown was only exacerbated by their confusion at their uncontrollably sobbing hostess...

good times..

The metal front door of my dad's house still has dent marks from me kicking it..... I haven't had one in years.... well thats a lie, I blew up all over one guy last year, got myself suspended from school, and felt a whole lot better afterwards tho still regretting it. It takes an absolutly massive amount of stress for me to hit that point, and you can tell its coming many days in advance, so if most people were smart enough to read that, they would leave me alone when stress is so bad that you can feel the tension in me just by being near. I almost broke into tears when, at an exam review for my calculus, I realized how poorly I was doing in that class.... that only thing that stopped me was the fact I was in a room with 200 other people. I think I still cried a little though. Fortunatly, my situation has changed and I can isolate myself a lot easier to avoid the types of people that cause this in me. I also am no longer in high school, which, like elementary school was hell for me with stress.

My "meltdowns" were so bad at one point that I got diagnosed with ODD (opositional defiance disorder) until I got in with the #1 specialist for autistic spectrum disorders in my area and rediagnosed with AS. I got in with that doctor simply because he also does a lot of work with ADHD, which I had been diagnosed with already, and my parents would do anything to make sure I had the right specialist. Anyways, treatment they put me through for ODD was a form of hell on earth, and a torture I would never want to see anyone go through, and it just made my meltdowns more frequent. It involved a lot of heavey mental abuse by a social worker type person to try and "break" the bad behaviour, and if it would have lasted any longer, I probably would have gone insane and done something really fricken bad. Worse than just that from the social worker type person, I also had greatly increased difficulties with my parents. When I finally got a proper diagnosis, things finally started to go better for me, but it took years to fully recover from that and actually make forward progression. Now I would say I am a very stable person, and can actually live my life rather than struggle through the hell of trying not to be so destructive. Basicly, wrong treatment was wrong, and ODD treatment should have never been used on anyone under the spectrum.

I have a very hard time tolerating the high pitched noises children make. It seems no matter where I go, parents are copping an attitude, about how their little angel never misbehaves. Before I can even explain my circumstances, they're attacking me. It gets to the point where I can't even talk to the parents, so I behave in a way that will help them understand not to sit by me. Like say, they have brats or something. I don't like doing that, but when I try to explain myself to most parents it's like talking to a wild animal protecting their cubs. They seem to understand animal communication better, such as me behaving in a way saying you don't belong in this territory.

If parents don't like having to share the world with everyone else, then they should either stay home, or learn how to behave themselves. Shouting "Your not a parent!" to someone, as a claim that you don't have to listen to them. Throwing a temper tantrum with the fury of one's own small child, is also unacceptable behavior in public.

I wonder why people claim we're the ones who are "ret*d" sometimes when it comes to parents. They live in their own world, which is what people like to claim about Autistics. Anyone enters their world, they behave like they're having a meltdown, except I'm sure most of these parents choose that behavior. I don't have a choice, I can't help either covering my ears or having to cry out when the drill like piercing sound of a baby's shrill shreik enters my ears. Why can't parents understand this?

I've heard things like, wear earplugs, listen to pink noise. I should be able to go out in public without people insisting I must be near their children, or I'm a child hater. Black and white thinking from parents, also something people like to claim of people on the Autistic spectrum. I try to be understanding about these things, but it seems with parents I have to come out as a "ret*d" and have them talk about me like I'm a pitiable person. Or glare at them, because talking to them like a human being does not work, sometimes animal signals do.

I wish that I didn't have to say all of this, but really it's not my fault. I'm not keeping these people from understanding that when you have a 3 year old child, that doesn't entitle you to throw tantrums or scream and shout like a 3 year old. I think these parents should have family only sections in resturants, then they can see how it feels when they bring their shreiker in to places and expect other people to tolerate them.

I can be as understanding all I want, it has seemed to some people in the past that I should be the one who is understanding, and not be so outspoken about these issues. It seems more and more places, are becoming places where parents take their kids. Apperently hiring babysitters is not in anymore, everyone has to see precious and how dare someone suggests all her or his noises aren't perfectly wonderful.

That sounds like what the professors/universities did to me to try to bully me into dropping my complaints and lawsuit. The professors went around slandering me, to blacklist me. The University of Maryland, College Park even went into my student record AFTER I was out of the school, after I tried to file a sexual misconduct complaint about Dennis Healy and John Benedetto, and they made student judicial entries in it, even though I had never had a student judicial issue. After they did that, I suddenly became very, very vocal. Every oppression and retaliation they have engaged in against me, only made me escalate my vocal opposition to their administrative abuses and cover-ups.

They all act mean and tough as if they are teaching me a lesson, to file complaints against such an important researcher. As if I can choose to get upset or not get upset, with ASD. As if I could CHOOSE to not meltdown and seek a grievance, when abused. Most public universities make problems go away by bullying students into dropping complaints or remaining silent, never allowing a hint of criticism or whisper of negativity attach itself to the sexually misbehaving professors' brilliant reputations. They act as if they are teaching me a lesson, when in fact their oppressive retaliation just made me more verbally aggressive. So here I am today, determined to never shut up. On the edge of a meltdown for 3 years.

Edited to add: How do you stop it... ? The first time I had an harassment trauma, it took 5 years to fade. I would like for it to go faster this time.

Last edited by ephemerella on 16 Dec 2008, 1:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well, It happened to me one time I was drunk. I became hungry and decided to make a meal. Something went wrong with the timing, so I tossed the food in the garbage, and beat the stove to death with my heavy iron steak pot. I did not feel well the day after, tired and hung over, walking to the kitchen to get an overview of the damages.
Is that detailed enough for you?

I wrote a poem about how a meltdown feels for me: poem.

If I get too much sensory imput, bingo, meltdown. Same thing if I get too strong of an emotion(s).

My son's meltdowns mostly occur when the school changes the schedule & he has to learn a new one. He knows they are going to change the schedule 4 times a year, but it still stresses him to no end. He will cry and swat into a position where he brings his knees to his chest & rocks.

Mine appear to be introverted. The only few explosive outbursts come very rarely.

They develop slowly, they may take days to build up to its peak. A few will leave me catatonic or unresponsive for lengths of time dirctly related to the severity of the meltdown. Others can be more like a twitching outburst or a sudden loss of temper which causes me to grab for something, but then it passes.

Others cause me to go into a rage. My most recent rage-intensive meltdowns have resulted in me trying to kill myself and so right now I am only now going through a diagnosis and therapy process.

A meltdown begins with being irritated. Somehow. It builds when that irritation cannot subside and persists to annoy. Then it just takes for a stimulis just to set it off and I somehow am not able to express it, but seeking a way for it to stop.

My older sister has more extroverted meltdowns.

My younger brother doesn't seem to have meltdowns. At all. Which is strange. He is diagnosed though.

I'm not sure I have anything that would be considered a meltdown. When I get overwhelmed I get irritated and often say things I don't mean, this only happens with family members though. Same thing happens when I get confused, I'll get angry and say some mean things when I think someone is angry with me when it usually isn't even the case. Otherwise, I cry or I have to lock myself in my room and lay down for awhile. I'm not sure if those things are considered meltdowns or what?

I consider my meltdowns to be episodes where I hysterically sob, which are sometimes accompanied by intense anger and throwing things. These sobbing fits are never out of sadness. They are always out of being overstimulated/not able to handle things and a large amount of frustration/upset. Really, anything can cause me to have a meltdown, if I'm stressed enough. One of my worst meltdowns in recent years (three years ago) was set off because a website wouldn't work. I had had a wretched day, and that was just the straw that broke the camel's back. That was a meltdown where I threw things in my room.

Nobody but my mother has ever seen me have a meltdown. I'm able to hide them until I'm by myself. When I'm more anxious (meltdowns without anger), I do the stereotypical stimming. I rock back and forth with my hands over my eyes and/or handflap. When I have anger-filled meltdowns, I don't stim while I sob. Rather, I throw things or destroy things in my room. A meltdown I had about a month ago involved me ripping up a book that I no longer needed.

I often get very angry with people I'm close with if my routine gets interrupted suddenly or if I'm forced to deal with a sensory issue, but I don't consider these meltdowns. I guess that's because, while the anger is out of proportion (and more frequent) than a neurotypical's anger, it isn't extreme enough for it to be labeled as a "meltdown."
-OddDuckNash99-

Basically I have a tantrum. I call it a meltdown because it makes me sound less like a three-year-old. I cry and scream and kick and hit myself until I can't breathe. Sometimes my fingers go numb from lack of air. And I can't stop. So my mum gives me a valium and makes me lie down.

I can usually hold it off until I get home, though. Or I just cry a little bit in public, and then scream later.

I have anger meltdowns, definitely. Things that would probably only mildly irritate most, like people delaying me or getting in my way, can suddenly produce boiling rage on occasions. I've verbally abused people in the street on numerous occasions; it frightens me a little that I can easily picture myself physically attacking someone. The anger just builds and builds up to a point when it bursts like a bubble and I finally start crying instead.

Disruption to my plans or routine, in general, is a major source of meltdowns.