glider18's Magical World of Autism

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Have you ever found that there were certain things in your childhood that were magical? I don't mean in a witchcraft or magician's sort of way---but in a way that it truly brought you such extreme pleasure that it filled your days with a joy beyond...well...you get the point.

For me, I found magic in the light cast on my bedroom wall from the rays of sunlight beaming in through the old Anderson windows in the evening while I smelled the aroma of Mom baking dinner. I savored staring at that rectangular light on the wall---focusing and imagining it as a window to another world---my world---the world that only I lived in.

For me, I found magic in the view master projector shows I would create in the darkness of my room. I laid down soundtracks on cassette tape to accompany those mute illuminated projections. Alone, in the darkness, I found magic when that smelly-hot projector bulb transformed my solitary world into a land of enchantment. It haunts me to this day.

For me, I found magic in the backyard as I walked my strange ritualistic pathways around the yard, and at the school's playground where I traversed similar geometrical patterns by myself not worrying about what my classmates thought of me. By myself?...yes...for only I could understand my logic.

For me, I found magic atop the twelve foot tall wooden tower my father built for me in the backyard. There, I spent countless hours alone contemplating my magical kingdoms. Oh...I knew they weren't real, but it was fun to be lost in daydreams.

For me, I found magic walking the sidewalk and daydreaming that the lawn was the ocean. The aroma of Dad's freshly cut grass metamorphosed into the salty air of Myrtle Beach, and the hot sidewalk beneath my bare feet became the luxurious sand of paradise. Stepping into the grass became a dip into the calming and cooling caress of the sea.

For me, I found magic under the card table placed outside on the patio where Mom sunbathed. She knew to place the old quilt over the table thus locking me inside a cozy mansion whose walls glowed softly from the sunlight. Every once in awhile I would have a visitor. It was Cindy---my beloved dog. She was my true backyard friend. I miss her. I can still feel the rays of warm sunlight swiftly sweeping my skin of the shirtless summer days of my youth as I followed Cindy out into the yard.

For me, I found magic in places others did not. And for that, I am grateful. And perhaps this magic came from the world of autism.

I would love to hear from others about the magic in their lives.

I found magic in all kinds of things, but above all in books.

Every book was in itself a universe immense and eternal in its beauty and complexity.

If I was less tired I would go into description similar to yours for other things too, Glider18.

I found magic in everything, and in most things still do when I remember to look.

This is a poem I wrote a few years ago:


My World

The backdrop slows and the light is amplified,

I reach out,

Hesitantly,

To touch the honeyed air,

So dazzling, so detailed,

The soft green grass,

The oceanic trees,

People float past me,

Trance- like,

I am unnoticed,

As they smile on by,

Not at me.

So I get lost on the footpath between the gym and the maths rooms,

In my own little corner of heaven,

Forgotten by the world,

But in some way, that’s just how I like it.

Yes, I've always seen the world as magical. I think autism may indeed have something to do with it, as so many people on the spectrum talk about the "fantasies" that intermingle with everyday consciousness.

Growing up, I remember I used to vividly imagine a whole other dimension, just under the surface of everything, that cast reality in a sort of fluid, "magical" aspect; certain things would shimmer, sparkle, change shape, etc.. I used to think that I could control the forces of Nature, and that with the sheer power of my will (or perhaps a discreet hand-wave and the utterance of a few words) I could cause the wind to blow, or the clouds to rain, or for temperatures to drop.

To this day, when I am outside, especially in a quiet natural setting, everything around me seems to breathe with life and motion, definitely in a "magical" way. I feel energies and forces that are not apparent, and that I don't think other people experience. This is one of the reason plants speak to me so much. They convey a powerful sense of magic.

I think this just comes down to a difference in the way our brains process sensory input. Far more emphasis is put on pure stimuli, and less (I am guessing) on the social constructs of the human world. Hence, we experience things that others do not.

sunshower---beautiful poem. I believe it defines you. And I believe you are satisfied and happy with yourself. I'm glad you shared your poem---it speaks elequently.

Acacia---thank you for sharing---it always seems like we think alike in regards to our autism. I can truly appreciate your way of thinking.

As I was driving to work this morning the sun was shining brilliantly into my driver's side window---whoa! I don't like bright light. I got a little irritated by the sun shining so brightly---but, now that I am sitting behind my desk at school I am viewing it differently. The sun is wonderful. Without it, there would be no life on Earth. The illumination from the sun this morning showed many things:

Sparkling dew on the grass
A deer going to a stream
Beautiful flowers
Shiny yellow school busses nearing the end of their travels this school year
Etc.

And all these sensations beckon the old feel I had as a child---the thrill and magic of springtime. My oldest son was talking to me from the backseat on the way to school about going to the nearby amusement park to ride the roller coaster. That is the same amusement park that brought thrills to me when I was my children's age. It was magic. And...it still is.

Here are some things I think have magical elements to them for me.

I've always had a fascination for maps. They are such a simple yet elegant way to express one aspect of a particular place. It still makes me smile to study maps and then go to the place they represent to see how it differs from what I imagined.

I love the twinkling lights of a village at night across a vast space. This can be a river, forest, or plain. I think about all of the lives of people over there and the secrets they hold. (I'm always somewhat reminded of that section in the Fellowship of the Ring where Frodo is befriended by the elves in the forest, and they see the twinkling lights of Woodhall in the distance. Don't know why; maybe because it's literally a magical setting and feels so appropriate.)

I love being able to get somewhere I normally go by car on a bicycle. The first time I figured out how to bike to a train station several miles away, I laughed with delight (literally) for about 20 minutes. It still is an amazing feeling. Also, I love taking long bike rides in open spaces by myself.

Sometimes I stop what I am doing and just completely listening to every sound I can hear. I can only do this effectively in quieter places; city noise is a lot to process like that.

Getting lost in music and dance... that's also pretty magical.

Hi fiddlerpianist---maps . I love them, and my father loves them. I can remember growing up that I would take the map before a trip (vacation) and I would write down on paper every single town/city we would travel by. I would also put the mileage between each place. Then, as we travelled, I would mark off the towns. But like you, it is fun to try to imagine those places on a map---then see what they are really like.

I can relate to listening to sounds in the quiet. I loved when I was growing up going to my grandparents' house. There were caves in the woods there. And I would spend a lot of time just sitting in them listening to all the unusual cave-like sounds of water trickling deep in the crevices, etc. I would love to have just one day to go back in time and experience that again.

I like your post fiddlerpianist. Your description of the lights at night, and the bicycle journeys are truly magical indeed. I look forward to more of your posts---and music.

I was the master of the AAA TripTik. When we were on the trip, my parents would ask me where the next rest stop would be, and I would always know.

I'm just lying here in bed thinking about the manner in which I perceive my projects. And I bet many of you do the same thing. For example, I have been trying to push getting my novel completed, but have realized it is going to be a multiple book story. Being autistic, I tend to overly absorb myself into any project that is at the forefront of my attention. So with the novel, the setting and characters become the vast majority of my thinking time. Even though I know it is an imaginary world, I am almost always constantly thinking about it as I go about my daily routine. Those that know me might think that I am drawing my focus away from my more obvious passions---music and roller coasters. But, music and roller coasters are playing an important part of the setting of the novel. So what I am trying to do is incorporate all of my intense interests into this novel/series. My challenge is in character interaction---which is not surprising being an autistic author. So the magic in this novel/series is that it is allowing me to utilize as many of my intense interests as I can into one project. Some of those intense interests are:

the lakeside amusement resort/community setting for part of the book---it is actually based on my model railroad layout.
roller coasters and amusment parks---these are part of the aforementioned community---also on my train layout.
house plans---there are five mansions that play an important part of the story (I have the blueprints for those mansions)
ancient Indian earthworks---a very important part of the book's climax
caves---a very important part of the book's setting involves a magical cave
astronomy/comets---there is going to be a fabulous comet at the end of the final book
music---various theatres (also on my train layout) feature music such as a theatre pipe organ, etc.
autism---one of the main characters in the first book has Asperger's, and a character in the second book has classic autism
there are many other things that interest me too that are in the books---circus, magic show, planetarium, pyramids, etc.

I feel like all my interests in life are culminating in this novel/series. And the lakeside amusement resort village setting is being built in HO scale in my basement. In a way it is like I have allowed one particular fascinating world of my imagination to reveal itself in HO scale model form. The midway of the amusement park has a long line of lombardy poplars leading to a palace type structure (the ballroom) just like an image from my childhood that has haunted me for years.

So for me this is magical because the imagination of the mind is...magical. It is unusual how the mind can process images of how we think things should look if real. This setting has been in my mind for years, and my HO scale model is an attempt to make it real---even if in scale model form. Now I am faced with the grueling, but fun, task of assembling 300 models for placement on this layout which fills most of my basement. Many of the models are finished, but many are not. I would think the novel/series will be completed before the model is.

Hello. I was thinking back to this thread that I started back in April of this year (2009), and I thought it was an interesting way to look back on our lives in a magical way. Many of us with AS/autism had some really interesting things we did or thought about. And I thought this would be a good place to put them. The thread didn't catch on, but those who did post put some really wonderful things here.

I began with some things from my childhood that I tried to phrase in an emotional way. Sunshower added a beautiful poem that you should read. Acacia added magical moments from his life that I found fascinating. Fiddlerpianist talked about things in his life that were magical including his thoughts on the Fellowship of the Ring and his mastering the AAA Triptik as a child.

So, see what you can find in your life that was magical.

It is hard for me, because I'm literal and magic isn't real. Thought I have created my own magic world, much like Tolkien did and I can see myself at 60 years old and still not finished writing stories about this world.

Although magic in this way...let me see what I can come up with.

I can go back to my young christian days and describe one of the largest meetings I've been to as magical. It was called Harvest 2000, and I felt a special presence on the ground floor - I guess you'd call that spiritual...

When my dad took me fishing I would climb the rocks then sit there staring at the waves, birds and sometimes boats. It was so peaceful and relaxing.

There have been times with my friends when we'd stay out all night, and get up to crazy things (or usually get lost, lol). That gave me the most content feeling ever.

Whenever I see this one band, Anberlin I feel the most joy than I've ever felt. I think I can experience emotion in music more than other people, so there are certain songs that I'm constantly in awe about, and Anberlin are just one of those bands that have those songs. Another band being Brand New.

And last time I saw Tim Rogers solo I was filled with a certain calm, and after such a stressful time in my life it was a great feeling. Not only did he make me want to go to more gigs but he made me totally have no more feelings for my ex.

Is this what you mean by magic?

Hi Pensieve---yes, this is the magic I was talking about. It is those things in life that bring us special joy and/or emotional experiences. I was always the quiet acting child and didn't normally show a lot of emotion on the outside, but deep inside, I felt it. The experiences you describe here are perfect examples. Thank you for sharing.

Things magical during your childhood, eh? Aaaaah... good times, good times. Well, let's get started, shall we?

Legos--always thought Legos have some quality to build unique objects--and hey--you can give them any personality you want them to have. Use to build androids and other robots and spaceships, usually from my own imagination and sometimes based off other shows' robots. But I gave them human qualities, and they're were my best friends since they could do anything i want them to do.

Anime--from the moment I first saw Pokemon, I thought I could be in a world where I could make my own Pokemon. Of course, I've always enjoyed anime, but unlike the other kids, it was like another world to me where I could be comfortable and create my own characters for my own show. Most stories I make up seems to be based on anime worlds, so to me that's comfortable.

Games--or rather, retro games. Retro games, to me, still have that flair, that personality I want. The way how a character can do what you want him to do with a push of a button--magical. Of course, I don't play games anymore because the new games don't have that flair anymore or because they're too realistic or both, but the retro games are still in my memories.

Books--When I read non-fiction books I thought about how one book could posses all that information about a subject. When I read fiction, the characters seem to pop out of the book; it's like you've understood the characters and their life. Don't read as many books as I should because I've never been taught how to spead read (yeah, reading slow can be an unenjoyable process), but I'm training myself with a book, How to Read Better and Faster, Fourth Edition, so it should be easy.

That's all I can think of right now. If I have anymore, I'll be sure to post them here.

My favorites were the text-based adventure games on the computer... the Infocom games like Zork, Wishbringer, etc. The elegance of the story being told and the simplicity of the user interface really lets your imagination run wild! Nowadays, I agree that they are too realistic. Long live text-based games!

A few years back the company that bought Infocom re-released all of the games onto one CD. Man, was I excited!

From a Wonderful World to a Magical World topic

Ain't imagination great?

Loved my childhood full of imagination so much i brought it with me into adulthood!!