greenturtle74’s Cartoon Guide to Asperger’s
*pixie pops in - notices a sad turtle lurking - sneaks up behind him and lands a huge cyber(((HUG))) - cracks out the goofy grin when he spins about in surprise....*
Dont worry pal - hang on for the rollercoaster ride - the upswing comes along right after the downhill and right before the next loop
*giggles and fades out with a pop muttering....*
cwazy life!! !
greenturtle74
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Joined: 4 May 2009
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Hi FePixie, thank you for your kind post and encouragement. I am recovering from pneumonia as well as the 3 feet of snow we had this week. It has been a difficult winter for me. Right now I am doing my best to be patient and wait for it to pass, and hopefully as you say, there is an upswing to come. I am glad we can come here to offer one another hope.
happymusic
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Location: still in ninja land
I like that man nice visual to what AS is like. Good job
_________________
My first youtube video of myself
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KNGwLccs5M
"If you feed your faith your fears will starve to death"
http://www.youtube.com/user/BrandonJ280
greenturtle74
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Joined: 4 May 2009
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Location: Greater Philadelphia
It’s very strange to me to see people still viewing and responding to my work. I was in such a different place when I did it. I do not feel the same today. The pride in having AS and in myself did not last.
I lied when I spoke of “my friends.” I have acquaintances, that is all. I had hoped to turn them into friends by sharing a piece of my world. It has not worked. They looked at the drawings, they laughed, they say they understand AS now. So what? They do not want to spend more time with me, they do not pay more attention to me, they certainly don’t want to have lunch with me. Everyone has missed the point. I did not explain myself for the sake of explaining. I explained because I wanted to change my life situation. I am alone and isolated and unable to satisfy my need for human connection.
I failed to accomplish my goal. Nothing has changed, except now I’ve shared a very personal part of myself with those I know, and with the online world. It feels like I’ve sold my soul and gotten nothing in return. I face very real social obstacles in my life, and I’m looking for help and not finding it. I’ve looked for answers in books, in support groups, and in forums like this, and found no solutions. I am stuck. I wrote, “Knowledge brings understanding,” but that proved to be only wishful thinking. My knowledge of AS has not helped me understand myself, and it has not helped others understand me.
So to those of you who say this project gave you a positive viewpoint, or made you feel good about yourself, I guess your experience has been different from mine. I hope it lasts for you.
...A Version 1.0 of this post that I/the machine f****d up and destroyed talked about a Swedish comic book trying to show people about Aspergers' that I saw 1 page of an English translation of , it was more a " theraputic/trying to teach " one rather than a " from the inside " one , but.........
I lied when I spoke of “my friends.” I have acquaintances, that is all. I had hoped to turn them into friends by sharing a piece of my world. It has not worked. They looked at the drawings, they laughed, they say they understand AS now. So what? They do not want to spend more time with me, they do not pay more attention to me, they certainly don’t want to have lunch with me. Everyone has missed the point. I did not explain myself for the sake of explaining. I explained because I wanted to change my life situation. I am alone and isolated and unable to satisfy my need for human connection.
I failed to accomplish my goal. Nothing has changed, except now I’ve shared a very personal part of myself with those I know, and with the online world. It feels like I’ve sold my soul and gotten nothing in return. I face very real social obstacles in my life, and I’m looking for help and not finding it. I’ve looked for answers in books, in support groups, and in forums like this, and found no solutions. I am stuck. I wrote, “Knowledge brings understanding,” but that proved to be only wishful thinking. My knowledge of AS has not helped me understand myself, and it has not helped others understand me.
So to those of you who say this project gave you a positive viewpoint, or made you feel good about yourself, I guess your experience has been different from mine. I hope it lasts for you.
A single act does not change things; what you seek takes constant attention and effort, not a single distillation of your experience. Knowledge does bring understanding; it just does not always bring about the results that we desire. Finding help is the greatest challenge, and help isn't not a permanently given condition but a response. I think you do understand yourself better, but the lack of results is leaving you discouraged. Remember how many you have touched here with your work. And thank you again.
M.
_________________
My thanks to all the wonderful members here; I will miss the opportunity to continue to learn and work with you.
For those who seek an alternative, it is coming.
So long, and thanks for all the fish!
asplanet
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Age: 65
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,258
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It's okay, Green Turtle. What you have probably come to realize at this point is that the Asperger community is a bit varied. Some are worse off with their condition, whereas some have a better support net. Because of this, the community ends up with a lot of Aspies who have tried very hard to fit in and had to realize how different they are through repeated life failures; this brings about paranoia of those who would use the facade of having the condition to get special treatment. Unfortunately, this paranoia often leads to what I want to call 'witch hunts', where someone with Aspergers is inadvertently turned away from the community because they may not have a diagnosis from a doctor or because they have learned quite well how to balance their lives so that they don't have to spend very much time 'interacting' or as I see it 'acting' with other people, and have the energy and confidence to continuously try to get it right. This makes social failures manageable and I would imagine this type of person would be more likely to question whether they belong in the AS group or belong in a community like this one.
But what I'm getting at is that Aspies are still human and we have our differences outside of the Asperger link. Some NTs don't get along with other NTs and the same goes for Aspies. Do try not to let people tell you you are something you are not. I found your illustrations the most insightful in explaining what problems I have with people and as evidenced here in this thread many others have as well. It can be hard to articulate to people these problems you have illustrated to other people without them misunderstanding and assuming something incorrect and thus hurtful to one's confidence and only aiding in increasing social anxiety. It is clear from your illustrations that you have found the core issue of what makes you unique and makes you unhappy at the same time, which of course has a name - AS. Don't worry about feeling like a sell-out, even if your intended goal to make friends wasn't reached. You at least might have made a little money off of your experience and even learned about what it takes to get something published.
All in all, through your illustrations, it is very evident you have learned a great deal about who you are. I know it's both a blessing and curse, but some Aspies learn this the hard way by ending up homeless and on antidepressants before they realize they just can't hold themselves to the same standards that NTs do and really do need some honest help. If anyone really thinks you are just 'an as*hole' for for your illustrations when undiagnosed or getting your illustrations published when undiagnosed really need to take a good internal look at themselves because they are...sadly...being the true as*holes. Anyway, I don't post here much, but I do skimp over posts once in a while and this is the first time I have read yours and really liked its clarity. Thanks.
Excellent comics! I can use those to explain myself to my friends better, if I ever need to. ^^
I hope you're feeling better, also
[...]
I failed to accomplish my goal. Nothing has changed, except now I’ve shared a very personal part of myself with those I know, and with the online world. It feels like I’ve sold my soul and gotten nothing in return.
Oh my God, I know exactly how you feel! (hug) Luckily this hasn't happened to me directly, but I can imagine how I would feel about sharing something so personal, and getting nothing out of it.
I wish I could give you awesome tips on making friends, but that's something I'm seeking to learn myself. I can only make a guess: showing them a comic probably isn't enough, there must be all sorts of other things to pursue, like finding common interests yatta yatta yatta. Its a complicated art by itself that's not performed easily. Maybe there's hints about social interactions on this site? (I'm new)
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