What do you hate the most about having autism/aspergers ?

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1:Not knowing whether someone is lying/ teasing. It's a real pain in the backside.

Don't know about question 2. I don't know many people ( bar teachers/ psychologists and aspies) who know about AS so I am not sure about stereotypes as such.

I hate the way I'm clueless of my ''embarrassing'' actions out in public, yet I'm self-conscious of myself at the same time. Trust me - this is VERY difficult. It's the same sort of situation as wanting to go swimming but not wanting to get wet. So it's like one of those impossible situations to deal with. It's OK to either be one or the other or neither, but when you're both....your life is completely buggered.

Definitely same. That part of aspergers/HFA is HELL.
It's HELL.

+1
Such a great description.

Agreed. Having friends and people to speak with me is something I very much wish for; I still haven't gotten over the possibility of my becoming the witty and popular girl who anyone can talk to. However, that possibility is never gonna happen--right now I'm quite the opposite and seem to put people on edge whenever they have to talk to me because I'm so clumsy with conversation and emotions and I hate how that feels.



I second this. So much.

I guess one stereotype I hate is that of my being intellectually compromised as I am socially compromised--because like a couple of you have already said, people with Aspergers are often actually very smart but since I'm not popular and act awkwardly, people just think I'm invisible or stupid.

the glass wall

This

Once I realize what my embarrasing social blunder was, it plays over and over in my head and gives me a sinking feeling in my stomach. I do hate that feeling, but not much else.

I just hate the way the sperm and the egg (this is my imagination) were giving me an NT brain to begin with, then a little tube in my brain grew vertical instead of horizontal, and then it couldn't go back to being the NT brain I was supposed to have, so it just developed more and more into the horrible Autistic brain I've got now.

I'm NOT saying that's what happens. That's not at all what happens, but because I don't know much about why some foetus grow an Autistic brain, I'm just going from my imagination that something went wrong whilst my brain was forming inside my mother's womb. I just know I was supposed to have an NT brain, because I've got such a large family, and all of my 12 cousins all have NT brains, so why should I have been an exception? So I was probably growing an NT brain, just like them, and then something went a bit wrong whilst it was growing, and so it just grew the ''wrong way'', and went into an Autistic brain, which has gone so hard now that even medication can't change it. Perhaps I might stick my head in an oven to see if it might melt the brain a bit.

I really hate my brain. I really do. I'd give anything to be NT. I'd love to be out at the bar tonight with a load of mates, chatting without any nasty Autism holding me back, instead of sitting alone in my room wishing it was true. I'd love to go out in the street without people looking at me like I've got two heads. People can seem to see I've got something wrong with me without me even doing anything even associated with Autism.


The trouble is with AS, though, is when you've got it as mild as me, you show traits which are minor enough to make others think that you haven't got anything wrong with you, but they are visible enough to make others think you're just weird. People don't look at me and think, ''oh, she must have Autism.'' They just look at me and think, ''she doesn't seem to have any disabilities I've heard about. She must just be stupid.'' If I flapped my hands about, looked and acted blank, put my fingers in my ears a lot, never expressed my feelings, never looked relaxed and smiled to anyone, and went on and on about the same thing, people will get the gist of it and think, ''she must be a bit Autistic. Never mind that - she is a nice person.'' But because I don't show any of those listed, and only show traits what only show in NTs who are stupid or odd, the outcome is worse. People just think, ''she's too normal to be Autistic or anything. But there's something about her what I can't put my finger on. She must just be weird or stupid, or a very dull person. I'm not even going to bother with her!''
The job centre is getting on my nerves too. They throw me jobs what interferes with my difficulty, (like having to interact with customers or having to do something too complicated for my under average IQ), but when I say, ''I can't do that because I will find that difficult,'' they just look at me and say, ''you're all right doing that! You're talking to me OK right now, what makes you think you won't be able to talk like this to customers? You're just wasting your time keep turning everything down! Good grief!''

That's the only thing about having mild AS like me. You come face to face with a lot of stereotypes from NTs a lot of the time.

You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't.

Being mono-channel
At school my teacher asked always my attention. I answered 'i am paiyng attention!' and they 'i don't see attention, you don't look at me'.

My social skills. I don't know how interact with people. When i was a kid no one understood the way i was. A lot of pratice and observation had improved my social skills but i had no sense of misure, and kids got easily annoied by me (and i did not understood why, once they liked me and after they get annoyed by me, for the same thing - liking talking about comics and cartoon - when they enjoyed 'falling in love for cute guys'). So at art school i adopted a different tactic. I did nothing, other had to do the first movie, unless i didn't notice someone with my same interest. And to art school i've found a girl that loved to draw like me. We became friends, but she was NT, after some time she has been annoyed by me, because her interest have been changed. I anyway have been able to have some friends during high school days.
Unluckily i can't maintain friendship, it's very difficult.
Lately i tend to avoid people i don't know.

And bullies, that called me 'crazy' or 'visionary' for prove their innocence to teachers.
Being called 'spoiled kid' by some teachers from secondary school. (anyway this is related to school, and i don't go to school now)

When people laugh without an apparent reason. Or probably i do not understand why they laugh. They are talking about normal things, example how my grandfather has ruined car of a friend of my brother. Everybody laughted at that, and i didn't understand how they could laugh so loudly for a damaged car.

Face-blindness (when i was a child i could not even recognize relatives i have seen the day before)

people don't understand what i say, and somethime they assume i am extremely close-minded. I have been called even fascist. Somethimes people understand the opposite thing i want to say. My brother thinks i'm a shallow person. My mum say i am not.

Extending that in forum, in many forums i sound arrogant to some people.
I'm lazy to think to other things now. I'm annoiyng of most of things of what i am.


- I like the fact i haven't the typical horrible accent of the place where i've born. To school teachers said i had tuscan or ligurian, if not french accent.
But i hate my pronunce failures

What the big picture is? I believe it does mean 'watching an house instead of watching just the window in the middle'

Hmmm, I thought I replied to this one a long time ago, but can't find it here.

Loneliness and the lack of friends by a wide margin.

and to a lesser extent

Being bullied to death.

Ignorance and the condescending attitudes of others.

I hate being in a vastly outnumbered minority. All minorities will face discrimination and prejudice to some degree, but we are such a small one we have little power even collectively. Society is designed by NTs and for NTs, and often seems almost consciously designed to be inconvenient, difficult, and painful to us. Many of us, despite being highly capable in our own ways, are reduced to menial labor or depending upon charity for survival because we cannot behave in the ways that are expected or do not conform to norms that seem arbitrary and unreasonable to us. We are, in some sense, the pariahs of a modern society where social skills have become more important than physical strength, endurance, work ethic, appearance, and yes, even intelligence, in determining success.

I hope you don't mind me asking, but what part of Northern Italy are you from?

I ask because my mother's side of the family came from Liguria a long time ago. I can't speak Italian, though I'd like to learn.

Where I live there is also a horrible accent. Unfortunately, I have this accent somewhat, but not strongly.

I'm from the north of Lombardy, I speak italian only.

You write English quite well.

I hate not being able to make money (being as that requires some amount of social skill, even to get a minimum-wage job).