Asperger's Dad from hell

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Borderline personality disorder, which is possibly one of the most professionally misunderstood conditions in the DSM. People diagnosed with BPD are often considered manipulative for behaving in exactly the same way as other clients, and their emotional dysregulation and tendency to read a lot of things that aren't there into what people say or do is viewed as emotional manipulation - but the truth is if they are trying to be manipulative (and it is likely that they are not) they are really obviously bad at it.

There's also a thing I've come across from professionals (both those treating me and others I know casually) that some professionals are too quick to diagnose BPD, especially in women. Compared to the number of women I've encountered online who are currently diagnosed with an autistic spectrum disorder who were previously misdiagnosed with BPD (and as contrasted with those who actually have both BPD and an ASD) it seems that overdiagnosis does happen.

It is interesting to me also that Simon Baron-Cohen characterizes "BPD" as having zero empathy, when it seems that people with BPD score very high on SBC's empathy measures (the "Seeing the Eyes in the Mind" test. It seems like their hypersensitivity actually makes it harder for them to read people correctly, hence the illogical, baseless, and sometimes downright weird things that they come up with about other people. Fortunately, it also seems to be one of the most treatable PDs at the moment, as I have come across references to both therapy and medicine regimens that help significantly.

One interesting (to me) contrast is on emotional lability. Quite a few autistic people (myself included) have alexithymia, which means I may not even notice an emotion until it gets so intense it's impossible to avoid. People with BPD have a much lower threshold for "intense enough to cause a reaction" than is typical with most people, let alone anyone with alexithymia - not that the two cannot coexist, but it's a contrast. It's a tendency to catastrophize what appear to be minor events into earthshaking proportions.



If I really had BPD, I would be extremely upset, too. I pointed out that his invasive theorizing about my mental state was "offensive" on someone else's advice, but it seems to only encourage further attempts at, er, poking. I am not upset, but my last reply was primarily motivated by a dislike for being lied to or about.

Last edited by Verdandi on 28 Aug 2011, 9:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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thank you.

sorry i was getting tired of how he was acting toward everyone, i was also sleep deprived and i have zero patience when i'm like that. i got sleep now though but i still believe he needed to be called out in a way.

i wonder how he got the aspie dx anyway, most of the people here are some of the nicest people i have come across on the net, nicer then alot of other people on most other forums i've been to.

i will try not to do it again, but i can't stand his attitude.

it wasn't directed at you; the individual who crossed a line was contacted directly via Private Message. i just wanted to make sure that everyone understood that the behaviour was noted, and i thought it would be a good idea for other members involved in the discussion to take a breath and think about how they are coming across to prevent the thread from deteriorating further.

i just happened to come across the thread but if anyone feels like they are being treated in a manner that violates the Terms of Service please let a moderator know so that we can step in before it gets too heated. thanks!

Aspies do vary in niceness and everything too. We're not all the same at all.

In fact, the person who has done the most harm to me in my life was an aspie. The fact that he was an aspie neither caused him to do that damage nor prevented him from doing that damage.

i know but when compared to other forums there are more nice people here then many others, some forums i am scared to post in different areas, like forums about specific games, i will only post in the topics about the game itself, and i will hardly ever make a new topic on anything because every time i did i got cut down.

lets say i'm more comfortable posting here then anywhere else.

to hyperlexian:
oh ok, yeah i think i'm the one who needs that breath the most, or as far as i know. i'm still mad. i hate it when anyone starts acting like they are better then others.

anyway thanks for helping out here, i told a mod what was going on here, but i don't know what happened there.

A romantic relationship between a person with ASD and a person with BPD seems like it would be the worst ever. I wonder who would suffer more within such a relationship.

I've encountered quite a few really nice autistic people, definitely outnumbering those I'd consider mean or abusive or bullies.

That said, I recall there was some bullying on the Autism Hub a year or two ago, and my biological father (who is not the narcissistic father I referred to earlier) who is very likely an Aspie tends to hold grudges with everyone forever, including family members. I don't consider him a bully or abusive, but he is somewhat ill-tempered.

And some of the people I know who are legitimately diagnosed with BPD are pretty nice people. I've only personally known one who could really only engage people in an abusive way, and she made it clear she knew exactly what she was doing.

I have no idea. It's entirely possible that it could work out or it could go horribly wrong. The opportunities for misunderstandings and miscommunication does seem extremely high, however.

For the record, the ideas I present are generally ones that I've formulated myself, although I tend to not present them until I determine to what extent they're corroborated by existing opinions and evidence.



Oh, it's not "projecting" at all. I will be the first to admit that I am extremely narcissistic/egocentric. Having taken off the rose-colored glasses, I can be completely open about this.



singlemom = registered today, one post, blah blah blah...

Here's a hint. If you think that "Asperger's" and "narcissism" are "entirely separate" in the same individual, your opinions on these topics simply can't be trusted. Likely, you don't understand what autism is.



Here's another suggestion. BPD is largely (but not exclusively) a profile that occurs in women with ADHD and/or mild Asperger's. It's not overdiagnosed in women, it's simply a profile that occurs more typically in women.



Oh, brother...how many ways can you say "I flip out for no good reason"?

I love how you've been trained (or trained yourself?) to "see" dichotomies between Asperger's and BPD when it should be obvious to any reasonably objective observer that they simply aren't justified by the populations in question, between which there are no hard and fast walls. Do you realize that there is an enormous incidence of alexithymia in people who have PTSD? How does that fit into your useless scheme?

The problem here is that you've taken something rather general--alexithymia, which is nothing more than an inability to identify and describe emotional states--and winnowed it down to a very specific presentation which lends itself to being contrasted with the diagnostic label you're trying to distance yourself from.

Of course.

Unfortunately, "alexithymia" is widely associated with the very profile you're trying to distance yourself from: BPD. Oops!

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&safe ... .15.7l25l0

http://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en ... a=N&tab=ws



Yes, you're such an even-keeled person. Most people I know who've been diagnosed with BPD are. I guess the doctor who so grossly misdiagnosed you has had his license revoked by now?

Finally, for the record, the warning that I received from hyperlexian included references to two specific comments I made. NEITHER of these comments related directly to Verdandi. Rather, they were made in regard to the general issue of the rose-colored archetype of Asperger's.

Once again, this warning was an attempt at PROTECTING the rose-colored archetype.

I think that's BS.

I think that all of the deference in the world towards autistic individuals isn't worth this willful distortion of truth--especially when there are things like the neurodiversity "movement", which is very real, that question the very being of objectionable behaviors (by replacing their surface-level descriptions with more abstract "basis" descriptions)!

BS. Plain and simple.

Go truth.

Poke, i selected two of you first inflammatory posts in the thread. you further continued to belittle and provoke members such as Verdandi. i also posted a reminder on the thread itself. for your reference i will send you another PM later that points out further instances so that you are no longer in any confusion about what is unacceptable.