My gripes at ASpartners

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http://forums.delphiforums.com/aspartne ... sg=11319.1

Look at message 9 by bluesea1971. "Obviously our different temperaments are not compatable as I do not measure up to your preconcieved expectations." Bluesea, I believe your husband chose the wrong word. I think a better phrase that he should've used was either "thought process" or "the way we both think." What your husband was trying to tell you is that the way he is and perceives things is caused by his brain wiring and the way you are and perceive things is caused by your brain wiring. He was saying that both of you had different expectations when coming into the marriage. It was because of your brain wiring and how you both think.

For instance, I expected both my NT wife and I to sit down one day when we first became married to sit down and to hash everything out including who was responsible for doing what and paying what bills. I never expected that I had to just jump in and had to go with a flow. Is this what other aspies thought on here?

I thought that if we both saw a negative in either of us we would both work together to correct it and to know how and why it was wrong. I expected that any problem that surfaced we would talk about the details about the problem and both come to a solution. With the food situation, if a person in a household is eating up to much of the food to me this person needs clarification on what they are allowed to have and how much. I never expected that I had to figure out by myself how much food everyone in the household was going to have. I always thought it would be rotely discussed.

It really sounds like all the NTW on that forum have taken no time at all to learn about AS, even though the same people b***h about their ASH day-in and day-out. They don't even get that their ASH are farking exhausted after a day at work and just need to collapse and decompress for the night.

I know my husband would never do that to me because he doesn't act like the kind of guy who would. But if we both separated, I would let him have full custody over our boy because he is a parent than I am but of course I would still want some custody with him too.

I learned a lot from that forum. One thing was that everything the ASH does and says is misinterpreted by the NTW as aggression/attack, opposition/defiance, or stupidity. The ASH can make a simple comment about a movie, with no intention of attacking anyone, and the NTW will automatically interpret it as a personal attack. Then, the ASH will say that he is just talking about the movie, not attacking the NTW, and the NTW will say that he is now being ultra-defensive, because she thinks that he thinks that she attacked him when she mistook his comment for an attack upon her. At this point, the conversation has gone up in toxic fume flames, because the NTW now believes, firmly and unswayably, that the ASH both attacked her to begin with and got ultra-defensive, which is the same thing as ultra-aggressive, to deny that he attacked her at all. Meanwhile, the ASH is totally confused about why the NTW is getting so angry over his comment about a movie. Because he is confused, he gets agitated and tries harder to explain himself, the explanation this time being an actual defense, which further sets in stone the NTW interpretation of him being ultra-defensive/aggressive and generally sucky to be around.

This is the Families of Adults Affected by Asperger's Syndrome (FAAAS) logo. It is so creepy. What the Inferno is going on in this picture? The broken face with the deepset eyes? The disembodied phrenology hand? Also, I think "Affected" used to be "Afflicted".

That is one creepy logo. I know that when filled with angst and contemplating my "affliction" I often gaze with crazed eyes into the great beyond while a disembodied hand calms my fevered brow.