Why Are Aspies Suspicious Everyone Is Lying About Autism?

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Thank you! Haha.

I've always assumed the reason people are suspicious people are lying about Autism, is because I am met with this a lot

"Autism, seems like everybody and their mother is being diagnosed with Autism"

It just looks like a catchy diagnosis and that its a phase that will go away. Remember people in the 90s were being diagnosed with Bipolar all the sudden, without having any symptoms of Bipolar at all.

They think it's catchy psychological science. Without realizing there are those out there who really do have these issues.

That's only in some limited circles.

In most circles, autism still carries a stigma, and still is believed to be a disorder of children who go off to a corner and spin objects or something.

To some people, there is an "epidemic" of autism, and some believe that vaccines are behind autism.

And even some present-day therapists believe in the old conception of autism, to the point where one might say: "If you can talk, you're not autistic."

Thank god for that. I have zero interest in becoming one of "Jerry's Kids!"

"Most people" here may well not not give a rat's rear about picking over other people's diagnosis or lack of one, and thank goodness those people exist. But the handful of members here who do regularly raise questions, cynicism, and doubts about other members can and do make it feel hostile enough that it's very easy to feel like this is NOT a safe place to be even though it's supposed to be -- particularly when one feels targeted individually due to specific things mentioned by a cynic that pertain very directly, or a post made directly to that person as in the case of KingdomOfRats.

I felt like a particular individual was trying to "run me off his front lawn" immediately upon first joining and posting on WP. I wasn't bouncing around claiming I'd taken an online test and now I must be an Aspie. I was one of the older generation who was UPSET to even wonder if I might be. Rather than be a flavor of the week trendy thing to hope one is, for many older people just discovering this could be what's been "wrong" with us our whole lives, it can actually be upsetting. It took courage for me even to join WP let alone to eventually look into an evaluation --- ALSO quite an upsetting prospect to be asked questions about things one may have felt confused and ashamed about all one's life.

So I'm met by this person who managed to sidestep actual abuse or any of the forum rules, while still managing to choose words that made it very clear I was to him probably just another faker and wasn't welcome here. I honestly felt that in no uncertain terms.

Even though I stayed, I began to see that every so often, maybe every two or three months, a new little "wave" of topics would be posted by established, long-time members, revolving around how they think there are "lots" of fakers, or that "high functioning" ASD is all fake and people with that diagnosis simply must have had a quack for a clinician. Or that anyone here who has held a job, had a friend, hell, gotten married and had kids, is under their suspicion radar because even that info alone must mean those people "aren't impaired" enough to have their diagnosis or to be on the same spectrum.

Relatively recently a couple of the younger members here who I now file in my mind as dyed in the wool cynics -- so sad to be so cynical at such a young age -- had an argument with me here regarding this entire topic. One of them was incredibly disrespectful to me, calling my life's experiences, many of which have been distressing ones, "fifty years of baggage" -- and NO it was not said in a sympathetic way but in a dismissive and mocking way and to try to paint me as someone completely deranged now because of all my crazy "baggage."

And this is a very articulate individual with an admitted liking for sarcastic remarks, who knew exactly how hurtful and disrespectful saying these things to me would be.

THAT is NOT supportive. On a support website.

I agree with the person above who said this site should NOT be the same kind of place as everywhere on the internet, it should be a safe haven. But on a regular repeating basis, it doesn't feel that way at all because of this issue.

I illustrate all this to show the kind of experiences some of us have in fact had here regarding this WHOLE ISSUE of people not trusting other people's diagnoses, not believing anyone isn't jumping on a bandwagon who didn't get diagnosed age 3, or even the undiagnosed being altogether welcomed even when honest about their status.

It's a problem here that nobody seems to want to stop.

I remember how it was for you Bird in flight, you aren't imagining it, some of the experiences you had were just wrong.

I think the culture here has changed for the better though, I see a huge improvement anyways. I find the ethos towards the self diagnosis situation to be more balanced now, the tolerance for different points of view has increased. Though on the surface it appears as a small difference, a shift in ethos is not a small achievement. This type of organisational transformation takes time and collaboration, especially so if you want growth/progress that includes everyone regardless of their beliefs about othering.

Last edited by Amity on 11 Aug 2016, 6:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

These discussions always remind me of The People's Front of Judea.



....meanwhile, the Romans rule on

The guy felt unsafe, and I wanted to make him feel safe, because it's realistic to feel safe on this Site. I told the man the truth.

I don't feel like I misrepresented anything.

There's always going to be idiots anywhere you go.

I've been the recipient of vitriol by people who dislike me for some reason. In life, and on this Site. I've felt momentary urges to just ditch it all (the Site, not Life).

But then I figure: I have the right to post on this Site, even if other people don't feel the same way. It's tough nuggies on them!

Just like I have the right to exist in the world, and to treated with respect.


PS: I'm NOT talking about any specific people.

All in all a really good summary

kraftie what guy and what was the thing someone thinks you misrepresented? I'm not sure what your post refers to -- unless I've lost track of one of the conversations within this thread. I'm confused, this seems like a non-sequitur.

Amity, thank you for validating me regarding those particular incidences I had on here, it means a lot to me.

You are welcome Birdinflight

The guy is Rabid Fox. He expressed anxiety about being attacked on the Site.

While I haven't experienced the vitriol some of you have witnessed, I've felt the sting of people hinting that as an older, late diagnosed adult I must not really be autistic. I'm married and have a job, but just because my ASD may appear relatively mild compared to others doesn't mean it's any less real or hasn't deeply impacted my life's trajectory in every aspect. You can't see inside other people's minds, and the years have a way of sanding down some of the roughest edges so traits that were obvious in my teens and 20s have been mostly self-corrected by experience (but not intuition).

Until I got hired as a full-time photographer a year ago, I didn't see myself as a real professional. I have a near-worthless college degree, and I have yet to work in any job that actually required one. (That's not to say it hasn't given me an edge at times.) Most NTs I know had about a 20 year lead in launching their careers. I've stumbled through the job market with no actual plan, gradually ending up in progressively better jobs by dumb luck (or providence). Back in high school, I had no career plans at all. None. I figured I'd work at the local ball-bearing factory or a department store, or something along those lines. My first job out of college was working as a hotel desk clerk.

I may be able to write and do some things really well, but there are other areas where my poor executive function is obvious. When it comes to managing routine stuff like finances, I'm pretty much helpless without my wife's guidance. Things aren't always what they appear.

Ah okay I see where it fits together now. I don't disagree with you that he should be reassured. The diagnosis or validity attacks aren't enough that anyone should feel like they need to feel anxiety right off the bat. I never said you misrepresented anything by telling him what you told him.

But it also is not misrepresenting for me and others here to say that these diagnosis/validity attacks (is what I'm calling them) happen or that they are potentially off putting, or that they can potentially make a person feel unsafe here.

I have felt unsafe on Wrong Planet precisely because of that type of attack, not all the time but enough that it made me think about leaving as soon as I joined, it made me think about leaving just before I got diagnosed, I was afraid to post even after diagnosis and I've thought about leaving a few times since when this very issue (the validity of people's autism or belief they have it or even their diagnosis) comes up.

It's fair to tell someone new not to worry, stay, it's not bad enough for them to feel anxious.

But it's also fair for those of us who HAVE been attacked regarding our autism or if we're fakers, to say it's a problem that does rear its head on WP on a somewhat regular basis.

And that it shouldn't. Questioning other people's diagnosis should be taboo on here, but because it's not, it can make the place hostile regarding this issue, even though this is a support site welcoming issues surrounding autism.

To underwater, I relate strongly. Your experiences as a person who is older, late diagnosed and milder, is one shared by many of us, and is a very common life experience and experience of our type of autism. And yes we do face cynicism because of what can look like on the surface some level of greater ability in life, but nobody knows what we've gone through beneath the surface, or even perhaps how badly we are functioning inside or even within the thing that looks "successful" to an outsider.

Simply being able to post about having work, having a spouse, etc, can often hide a world of struggle, and open the door to others wanting to invalidate that we are on the spectrum at all. This is the heart of the problem. And it does happen on WP enough to be a problem, in my opinion.