Nothing in this world hurts more than being called "cringe"

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Well, depression and anxiety often go together. Although in my case, it was specifically depression that was the problem. So when the depression went away, whatever traces of anxiety I had, they went away with it.

One negative effect I did get from Effexor after I first started taking it is dry mouth and vertigo. I ended up drinking nearly a gallon of water a day, and I had to eat small snacks periodically, like an Oreo cookie or a piece of cheese, to keep the vertigo in check. Luckily, that lasted only 3 to 4 days. Once the Effexor fully kicked in, I was strong as an ox and healthy as a horse.

Well maybe it is the opposite for me, like maybe the anxiety is more the issue and it is what feeds the depression. Cause it also seemed similar with prozac it made me feel more crazy than relaxed.

The way I see it is that very much like autism or gender, anxiety could also be a spectrum.

See this chimes with me but the fact is society would have to change a lot before I didn't feel it.

Like less emphasis on jobs or living in a less bigoted environment. Or being accepted as an autistic trans bi guy rather than having to pretend to be an NT cis het girl. That would be an entire change of environment. Easier to just say 'you're ill'. They don't want to do the entire political shift.

Part of my own shifting and improvement has been moving to a town which is more tolerant of differences. And focusing on my art rather than on getting a job. But I needed a diagnosis to make some of that possible & without one, I was chasing jobs all around the UK and Ireland and USA so - could've ended up anywhere and ended up in a worse environment for me rather than a better one.

I do think in the UK they try and shift onto medicine because it's cheaper than therapy. I only had therapy from my GP. Just chatting. And he gave me 2 books: 1 of which was absolutely awful for someone experiencing self-blame and 1 of which actually worked (a book of Rumi's poetry: got me to slow down).

I feel like the 'book medicine' approach is done to save money when it's done exclusively. I've only heard about this through my uni so have no personal experience of it. Someone's mentally ill, they get prescribed a library book It works well in conjunction if you pick the right book (like my second experience) but - they still need proper treatment!

Ugh my own mum has a total double standard. She will tell me all about an autistic child and expect me to relate but if I try and link her experiences to being an NT adult woman she'll say 'I'm not an NT, I'm an individual'...

There is one worse word than cringe that I've been called a few times and it's the R-word. I was called it in elementary school and high school. I've also had two boys call me that outside the local outdoor swimming pool, 7 years ago in the summer. I've also been cringe as well, but the R-word hurts more.

I don't know if anyone has called me or my interests "cringe", but people have made fun of my interests in other ways and have called me "ret*d" before.

This is why I say anxiety is a symptom. I honestly do not believe anyone can just have anxiety. There is always a root factor for it. Same with obesity and incontinence. I get tired of my mom pretending I just have anxiety. Plus there has been a study done that people who have anxiety is caused by a different brain wiring. I think what if it's because society is not made for them so they have anxiety as a result of it because they simply function different? Of course people in r/anxiety were totally dismissive about it saying this can be used an an excuse to not do anything about their anxiety. What do they mean by that? That they would want accommodations for their different brain wiring? want an understanding? Think they are using their anxiety as an excuse when they avoid situations that is too much for them to handle? From my experience, the diagnoses of anxiety alone does not help you because everyone has the idea that anxiety is just a feeling and it's something that can be cured but that is not how it is for me. But if you are diagnosed with autism or ADHD, people are more understanding and take your problems more seriously and don't expect you to just get over it. I have tried comparing having anxiety to having a seizure to show it is not just a feeling and something you can control and my husband is like "it's not the same, you can stop it. You can't stop seizures" But hey if you have seizures, you can stop them from happening by not triggering yourself that will cause them or putting yourself in a situation that will trigger one, same logic. That is how my anxiety works. But it seems like my anxiety doesn't exist. This is why we can't say "I have anxiety" to explain our problem.

I remember there was another user here who was diagnosed with ASD but he or she was seeing another therapist and that therapist kept telling them it was just anxiety they were having. I think they fired that therapist.

What's weird is when I was in Junior high, my issue was Asperger's and then I get into high school, all of a sudden it's just OCD and anxiety. Was I cured from Asperger's now?

My friend once told me she was embarrassed to walk down the street with me. Hmmm thanks

My mother has said the same thing many times....

"Book medicine" is actually better than all talk therapies in the world. I myself learned more from self-helps books I borrowed from a public library and even from TV shows I watched, than I did from my therapist. ("Clarissa Explains It All" on Nickelodeon was literally the most helpful show I ever watched.)

Your post reminded me of an idea I harbored for a few months by now: self-help libraries, staffed by librarians trained in psychology. At the first visit, the librarian meets with the member for an hour, to find out which books he/she needs. But instead of asking members "How did that make you feel?" or cooing at them, they refer them to suitable books. The library has a wide variety of books on different subjects: assertiveness skills to push back against emotional abuse by families and exploitation by bosses, persuasiveness skills to become more confident, "how to meet people" for those insecure about their dating skills or looks, and so on. The library also has a legal reference section, with books on how to get emancipated as an emotionally abused minor, and how to sue the employer as an exploited worker. The charge for book rentals is $5 a week, or the member can buy the book outright for $50. There can also be a registered nurse and a paralegal, for referrals to psychiatrists for prescriptions and to attorneys for emancipation, but referral services can cost extra.

Look at the benefits over conventional therapy:
1. The library member gets concrete, workable advice, rather than some woo-woo charlatan mocking him and gaslighting him, while dangling the solution to his problems just out of his reach, yet not letting him have it.
2. The solution cost can be as little as $5 and get done in as little as 1 week, although usually it'll be longer and require more books. As opposed to months, if not years, of useless talk therapy, to the tune of $100+ per session.
3. A member can pick and choose the books at his leisure, and get answers to the questions he has, rather than get frustrated not getting answers from a therapist, or worse, rely on difficult hacks to trick them into giving answers.
4. It will put the rotten woo-woo charlatans, calling themselves "therapists", forever out of business!

Last edited by Aspie1 on 03 Feb 2021, 11:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

My mum told me that I was embarrassing for her to be seen with when I was 14. Can't you just feel the love?

My parents and brother (the one with Asperger's) used to say I embarrassed them all the time. It's especially nice when even autistic family members think you are embarrassing. (sarcasm intended lol)