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FrostBender
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05 Jun 2024, 3:59 pm

But if I don’t mask. I can’t get a job.



funeralxempire
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05 Jun 2024, 4:05 pm

FrostBender wrote:
But if I don’t mask. I can’t get a job.


It might come down to how we're defining masking. People who are critical of masking/overmasking are mostly thinking about doing things we feel are fake to fit in and get stressed by remembering to have to do, but probably aren't thinking of 'acting in a socially acceptable manner' as masking, especially if it doesn't cause significant stress.

You shouldn't mask to the extent it causes you to be constantly stressed by masking. You should keep doing what you've learned is socially appropriate and beneficial.


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If you feel useless, just remember the USA took four presidents, thousands of lives, trillions of dollars and 20 years to replace the Taliban with the Taliban.


FrostBender
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05 Jun 2024, 7:33 pm

There's no point in living if I can't fit in.



funeralxempire
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05 Jun 2024, 7:57 pm

FrostBender wrote:
There's no point in living if I can't fit in.


Not to invalidate that feeling, but no one fits in perfectly. It's not a black and white thing, people tend to fit in with other people who've had similar experiences and hold similar values more than they fit in with people who's thinking is alien to theirs.

If you're masking so hard you're sh*****g blood, lower your expectations. If you can manage without too much stress aim as high as you'd like; if it doesn't work we'll still be here and understand if it didn't go well.


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The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.
If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing. —Malcolm X
If you feel useless, just remember the USA took four presidents, thousands of lives, trillions of dollars and 20 years to replace the Taliban with the Taliban.


FrostBender
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05 Jun 2024, 8:57 pm

Please tell me I can live a normal life.



funeralxempire
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05 Jun 2024, 9:07 pm

FrostBender wrote:
Please tell me I can live a normal life.


I'm not convinced many NTs can live what you'd define as a normal life.

You face additional challenges compared to some, you might also be gifted in ways you haven't really discussed yet. Those factors will play into whether or not the goal is achievable, but another factor is how broadly you define normal.

I think it's possible for you to find a partner, but I can't be certain they'll be NT so long as you aren't unfair to potential ND partners.

I think it's possible for you to find a career, but that's not to say ASD won't influence your career path. Whether that's positive or negative is an additional question.

I think it's possible for you to manage to fit in socially, even if people think you're a bit off sometimes. If people see you functioning as well as they are they'll assume you're probably like them. It's rare for people who don't have ASD or know people with ASD to be able to identify it as likely and the people who can are likely to be sympathetic anyways, they're also more likely to sympathize with anxiety over openly revealing it so there's little need to worry about keeping it as a secret that can never be disclosed.

If you really struggle with executive function or with other symptoms that impair day-to-day function it might be harder. Ask me how I know. :oops:

It's not the end of the world though, you can simply pick different goals and achieve them instead (or at least attempt).


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The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.
If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing. —Malcolm X
If you feel useless, just remember the USA took four presidents, thousands of lives, trillions of dollars and 20 years to replace the Taliban with the Taliban.


FrostBender
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08 Jun 2024, 1:34 pm

All I want in life is to be attractive and make a lot of money. I know it’s shallow, but that’s what life means to me.



babybird
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08 Jun 2024, 1:55 pm

That's all I want as well


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Jakki
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08 Jun 2024, 2:37 pm

Generally in life, I think you get what you put into it .....? ( takes effort/work/ practice)
And in the END the only person you need to impress or be liked by " Is Yourself" . :mrgreen:


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