The Funniest Thing a Shrink Ever Said to You

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When I first went to see someone about my anxiety problems. I couldn't sleep and had to drink alcohol to relax, my fingers would tense up and I also had to hide away in the toilet at work sometimes to try anything I could to relax myself... So I told her all of this, then I told her about the possible Aspergers and she asked me why... and I didn't know much about it then, so I told her what I did know.

She went away and spoke to a specialist in Aspergers and showed him my list of things to which he said I didn't have it.
Then she comes back, sits beside me with this really fake smile and tells me I don't have Aspergers, I just have a little bit of anxiety.

I just got diagnosed too... a few weeks ago by a specialist.

Poopylungstuffing, I think I have or had double depression. you explained one of my problems to me without realizing it

O, my husband and I have been under a bit of stress lately, due to work , sickness and family presures. He went to a counsellor today and mentioned that I thought I have Aspergers,(I diagnosed myself, to which a diagnosing shrink agreed, but I digress...) - her response:

"People with Asperger's don't know they have it"

I still have steam coming out my ears. I told him she was full of s**t, and asked where she worked so I never went there.

"I'm going to be very honest with you. I don't think you should have kids."
Me: Why
"For one, you have Aspergers."
Me: Lot of aspies have kids and they do just fine. I have seen them on the forums and they had concern over their kids and fought for their education and their needs just like any normal parent would do if they cared about them so much.

How about "it's impossible that you are under the autism spectrum because you and I wouldn't be having a conversation like this" They sure have a lot to learn, don't they?

ROFL!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

1. Just up and get over it. Also she advised me to get a job it'd help with social skills (Got a job and within 3 months I quit oh and a sexual harrassment comment was tossed at me!! !! !! !!) SO MUCH FOR THAT!

2)This Therapist called my home!! ! I was in my room minding my own buisness when my mom barged in yelling at me!! !! !

I have gotten some good advice from my Psychology teacher though TONS!

1) I asked her about a family dilemma she said You already know what to do I said I do she replied yes.

2) I bumped into her upset one day and thought oh great (since I was thinking in my mind of stuff from tv etc.) she said are you ok is there anything I can do to help?

3) Me and a student were arguing over something and the teacher said she wouldn't know since she's never been in that situation. IMO BEST COMMENT EVER THESE PSYCHOLOGIST ETC. DON'T HAVE AS *INSERT ISSUE HERE* SO THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE US (IMO SHE GETS IT!! !)

(When I mention AS to my Psychiatrist he said Oh you don't have that that's something diagnosed in children and even if you did there's nothing we could do since there's no pill for it and this is a place that gives pills.) (Hint why I go in every 3 months say I'm fine AND LEAVE!! !! !! !)

LOL! the acting like brats comment. The first Psychiatrist I dealt with SUCKED! For the 1st 3 months of the suspension I LAYED IN BED AND CRIED 24/7 they said oh she says this up the dose of the pill at the 4th month I kept my mouth shut she said how am I supposed to help you if you don't tell me what's wrong I said I don't know and don't care she yelled at me. Also I was supposed to do a special 1hr. session instead of 15min. lasted about a minute I said yes/no to everything she said are you going to say anything else I said no she then said LEAVE I said ok and walked out the door. Also that year my sister graduated for her Bachelor Degree and the Psychiatrist was all and how do you think that made your sister feel etc. and then said I needed Psycholigical testing and that it'd be out of my pocket. I blew her off and still stand by this day I STILL WOULDN'T GO WHY SHOULD I CELEBRATE YOUR SUCCESS IF I'M NOT ACHIEVING SUCCESS? I stand by that view to this day!! !!

I've got a few but will select only a couple of the least disturbing.

1)

Me: I don't enjoy small talk.
Female Psych: Are you arrogant?
Me: [Cannot think straight enough to reply. Had been referred to this person due to social anxiety.]


2)

Me (age 19): I don't like the thought of sex. I would also hate to be naked.
Male Counselor: Would you not even go naked in front of a homeopath?
Me: No! [while thinking WTF]

"I'll help you with your bath" and it was funny my response "I can do it myself " and slammed the door shut in his face.

Hmm, what is a shrink a psychiatrist, psych nurse or just doctor?

My psychiatrist said today "keep on marching or solider on" so what does that mean. I am not good with sayings or slang. seems dumb talk to me. I am nothing like a solider. I replied and "yeah enjoy the sun."

That people who believe in heaven shouldn't be afraid of dying.

Wait. That wasn't funny. That was horribly offensive.

The funny one was when a psychiatrist asked me what akathisia was, after I cited it as a side effect of anti-depressents (I was having anxiety, he suggested anti-depressents... probably because I'm a woman... uh... that's a side effect that would make anxiety worse, yet he didn't know what it was).