Autistic/Aspie Stereotypes You Don't Display?

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"I don't assume that someone can't have AS just because they display the "stereotypical" ASD traits I don't show."

I never said you did - that wasn't my point

"That's pointless to do, because AS affects everyone in a different way."

Evidently - to the extent that the whole diagnosis becomes meaningless in my opinion

"I neither knew that being fat/ugly is an AS stereotype."

Some people on this thread evidently thought it was
Perhaps they could let us all know where they got this idea from?

"I'm not fat or ugly, but I don't assume that someone can't have AS because they are. Physical appearance is not related to AS."

I'd say there are often physical differences in people with Aspergers to be quite honest; having a squint in one eye is a feature I've seen in a number of people with Aspergers. There's often a slightly less mainstream look; often a frozen/blank-faced look.

I've definitely noticed an 'aspie look'

"I'm not fat or ugly, but I don't assume that someone can't have AS because they are."

Where is your logic for this sentence going?? That only the very fittest, Aryan-looking people can have Aspergers?

All I'm saying is that there is evidently a vast difference in expression of peoples' aspergers and that in my opinion the least affected people tend to dominate on here

Asperger's syndrome has some characteristics that can easily be recognized (unless someone has a mild form, I guess?).
Like, lack of social skills, motor coordination issues, and so on.

I don't know.
People have told me that my appearance is different from the one of most people but I've never thought it could be related to AS.
Also, I've never noticed anyhting really different or weird in my appearance.

I don't know.
But almost everyone on this forum seems to be a lot more functioning than I do, according to what they write in their posts.
I still don't understand if it's because my AS is more severe or because they have a form that is less severe than mine.

I reckon a lot of people on here would never reveal a negative trait even if they had it to be quite honest - it's all about how wonderful they are mainly

And who are we to doubt them

It's difficult to think of a positive aspie stereotype, unless it's having some incredible skill in math or something... being able to count cards like in "rain man"?
I guess not lying is a semi-positive one, and I saw someone mention not fitting that stereotype.

You seem to be taking it as though people who say they don't fit the stereotype think it's actually true of most aspies, and I don't see why that should be the case. I also see people mentioning having low IQ's, being bad at math, etc.

Besides, is it so terrible that a bunch of disabled social outcasts should say something positive about themselves once in a while?

^^^
There are lots of positive stereotypes about AS around nowadays. They're more about milder people (such as the ones I listed that I don;t have)

- I'm not a genius
- I'm not good at math
- I have no special talents (music or art ect)
-Wasn't the good , quiet girl that did well in elementary school who hid her traits and was overlooked (aspie girl stereotype )
-I'm not an expert mimic (aspie girl stereotype)

Others stereotypes I've head from NTs (some are often true, others not so much).

-Aspies cannot tell a lie
-Aspies are loyal
-logical
-analytical
-have good attention to detail
-have photographic memories
-have savant skills
- are never racist (incapable of stereotyping) ect
-are unique/original
- are amazing with computers

It's not 'once in a while' though - take it from me!

And I think you'd mortally offend a good proportion here calling them 'social outcasts' - many promote themselves as the life and soul of any party

This is my point - the same attitude NTs have of making out they're above average high achievers is on here - what's the difference is what I'm saying

There evidently is none

This demarcation line between Aspie and NT is imaginary because a lot of how people are is due to the fact they swallow what society tells them to be, wholesale, whatever their neurology

ie societal conditioning occurs over the top of the neurology and confuses the issue

Okay.

Aspie traits:

1. Sometimes take things too literally. Teasing and jokes sometimes go over my head.
2. I am often awkward around acquaintances.
3. My hygiene needs work. I shower maybe once every 3 days, hate putting on makeup or focusing on my appearance (but do when I have to)
4. I do have an aspie obsession even though I can usually hide it.
5. I'm very honest/blunt, am not good at picking up social cues. I can't figure out body language all that well
6. I am obsessed with collecting facts. In 9th grade I memorized the almanac for fun. Just because. I'm kind of a trivia whore.
7. I often go on about things nobody is interested in, and usually don't realize it until it's too late.
8. I'm good with computers even though I'm not very mechanical.
9. I'm impulsive and inadvertently insult people more often than if like... I can be poor at predicting what would hurt someone's feelings and what would be appreciated as a good joke.
10. I'm eccentric and definitely feel like I'm on a different wavelength.
11. Not great at recognizing faces - although this isn't extreme. For example, very often I meet someone briefly for the first time, see them again, and they recognize me and say hi, but I don't recognize them.
12. I have a very high IQ.
13. I'm lousy with transitions, especially abrupt ones. I am thorough and like to finish what I started or else I get really anxious and uncomfortable.
14. I was a very picky eater as a kid.
15. I was unpopular as a teen, and still sometimes struggle to make friends - I don't have as easy a time as most people but I still have a lot of friends. I have to be more proactive at meetong people.
16. Poor coordination - I can't dance like the cool kids for the life of me.
17. I have an excellent memory. It's sometimes creepy. People treat me like a savant sometimes. I hope that is at least helpful for med school.
18. I tend to repeat things, like questions when asked to me.
19. I tend to talk really annoyingly loud without even realizing my volume is out of the ordinary.
20. While I'm an extremely emotional person, logic always wins over.

Oh, and I'm not fat although I probably should be. I have a pretty good metabolism and definitely eat my feelings.

Last edited by aspieMD on 14 May 2013, 8:51 am, edited 1 time in total.

Why? I've been here for a year, I'll trust my own eyes.



Really? I haven't seen that.



Uh, so there is no difference between aspies and NT's because aspies want to look good to others, as NT's do? That makes about as much sense as saying there is no difference because aspies also like chocolate.

Anyway, this thread is not about the diagnostic criteria but about *stereotypes*: ideas the general public has about aspies that aren't necessarily true. You say you understand that but then why do you keep complaining that people who don't, or don't want to, fit these stereotypes are somehow too much like NT's?

To be honest, I think you're just angry that some people here pointed out that they weren't fat or ugly and that's bragging. Well, so what if it is? It doesn't make them less autistic, if anything, not knowing when to be appropriately modest shows a lack of social skills that you might expect from an aspie. So some of them are lucky enough to be thin and good looking. I'm happy for them. If they're single, I can understand why they might want to draw attention to their good looks, too. *shrug*

Whilst I'm generally introverted, I do like to meet people and don't have too many problems making or keeping friends. I'm also empathetic and really care about other people.

Let's see. The ones I don't meet are;

- I have never heard anyone say that people with AS are fat. The only thing that I've ever noticed is that I've seen quite a few overweight young and teenage boys with autism. But I'm normal weight, thyroid problems and a weirdly high metabolism so I just eat what I want to and stay anywhere between a 6 and an 8.
- I've never heard anything about us supposedly being unattractive either, except maybe the whole "nerd stereotype" thing with a guy with glasses and a pocket protector, but I guess I'm average or slightly below average with my looks.
- I do care about my appearance and wear makeup, do my hair, wear nice clothes most of the time
- I am pretty social although I had to learn to be when I was a teenager and force myself to do it until it came naturally. I still have times when I'm overloaded and just can't deal with it and want to be by myself and at home.
- I talk a lot and enjoy spur of the moment conversations with total strangers and I'm not uncomfortable with that.
- My voice isn't monotone and I don't have a flat affect
- I can read body language when I remember to do so
- I am absolutely terrible at math and I'm not a savant at anything
- I get and sometimes enjoy small talk, gossip, social nicieties, shallow and meaningless conversation
- I'm very sarcastic
- I have no problems with confrontation or standing up for myself, but I had to learn that one too and force myself to do it
- I do/did not need any special accommodations at a job or school


I fit a lot of the others somewhat though. I wasn't diagnosed until I was in my 40s so I grew up not knowing that I had it and not knowing that there was a medical condition that could likely prevent me from doing things that other kids did, so I kept on and kept on until I forced myself to do and learn some things that don't come naturally at all, which eventually did eventually come naturally. This is probably because mine is mild.

This is not bragging, it is simply me answering the question. I've also posted many, many negative things about myself in the past and I'm sure I will again in the future. If I wanted to brag, right now I would brag about my oldest daughter - she got her grades today from college, 2 A's and 2 B's. I'm proud of her. I certainly wouldn't brag about anything to do with myself because I'm nothing special. While I can do a lot of things that some people can't there are a lot of things that I can't do either, or that I just can't do right. That happens and since I've dealt with this for almost 50 years, I'm pretty much used to that fact.

Stereotypes I do fulfill:

- I am good at math, and science, and art (though it took a long time for me to develop that)
- I am a synesthete
- I strongly dislike prolonged eye contact, but I can force myself to do it
- I am slow at getting jokes sometimes
- I have mild face-blindness
- I have sensory issues with loud noises that often prevent me from enjoying social situations
- On bad days (like yesterday) I do have a lot of trouble keeping myself organized

Stereotypes I don't fulfill:

- I'm not stupid
- I'm not fat (I think this is ridiculous by the way)
- I don't live with my parents
- I never had any trouble talking as a kid, in fact I talked just about everyone's ear off from the age of 1.5 onwards
- I am NOT an introvert; I love to talk to people I don't know

I get sarcasm
No monotone voice
I can live on my own
I am getting married in 6 weeks
I have a fairly decent job and have had a good stable career
not fat
love fiction, it's all I read
don't stim
not a genius (though I am above average)
struggle with maths, even the basics


Where I do fit the bill:

No friends, I isolate myself, don't like being around people so much
can't make eye contact
I like my routines
Don't know when it is my turn to talk, often talk over people
staring sometimes
eating disorder & depression
No outward emotion, meltdowns now and again
don't like loud noise
when more than 1 noise is happening at a time I can't clearly hear either
slight toe walking. Not extreme but only just that this was linked to ASD, don't like wearing shoes & socks and I like to go barefoot slightly on tiptoes

Oh, and I forgot,

I don't miss social cues like body language, tone of voice, and all the rest of that sort of thing. I only can occasionally, but everyone makes mistakes. But generally I am OK with recognising different social cues.

I'm doing a PhD in creative writing, although admittedly I have problems with writing plot and character and the imaginative side of it. But I like reading and writing, and find playing with language really fun.

I can live on my own (if I could afford to).

I like talking to people I feel comfortable with.

When I remember to look at people's eyes, I can usually make eye contact or at least in the eye area.

I am rubbish at playing musical instruments even though I'm currently obsessed with guitar.

I usually notice when I've said/done something wrong.

I think it was partly due to people being so keen not to be seen as fat even when a number of people stated they never even knew this was an aspie stereotype

No one has yet explained where this stereotype came from

In my experience a stereotypical aspie is usually male and studious looking with bad dress sense and glasses
- more likely to look skinny than fat

ugly is subjective as well - one person's pretty is another person's ugly
generally, other people tell you how attractive you are, not yourself

I will collect some examples of people being less than modest

I have decided that in the people who posted's own minds they are all that they say they are but other people might well think differently, hence there is probably a lot of disparity between how anyone sees themself and how others do and this explains it all