Gender double standard and Autism

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How do you mean it's not accurate?

First.. yes I have seen this happen. I even knew one girl who was so quiet you would have been sure she never spoke at all and yes she was integrated into the group instantly. Others I've seen that you could definately describe as shy or quiet but not "completely silent" but were part of the group. As for if they were aspies or if it even works the same for aspies I don't know. The degree of integration varies like it ought to obviously. The second is only an observation shared with me by a friend that I thought was insightful and as its an opinion only (as much of this is) and not stated as a fact I'm really not sure what you mean.

Hm I guess that is kinda mean / not nice. Well for fellas I guess at least we don't have to hug other men and luckily there is no intimacy lol. It's sometimes expected to talk about certain things just between fellas but rarely. The only social pressure I would actually get for not participating though is probably from my brother. Like "But that's what guys talk about! What's wrong with you?!" but he's a bit jack-the-lad so eh.

I think you would find that most shy aspie women, if they ever find themselves caught up in a group of women, would certainly not feel a part of the "unit" that they observe existing around them. I do understand this concept you speak of - the "dance" of women socially interactive in a group, and I have never once felt like I was a part of it, even if I was physically there in the circle. Quite the opposite, I feel like an unwelcome intruder who ruins the flow of the dance.

I invite any shy aspie woman who identifies with being part of a women's "unit" when together in one place to share their insight. The rest of us would love to learn how it is done.

Yes, I'm definately not saying a group would just include in an aspie woman by "automatically" or that they'd feel the connection of that. I'm just saying someone gave me this insightful idea that would never have occurred to me.

EDIT:
There's a story behind this and the moral of it was that a man has to tread carefully because sometimes one womans opinion is shared by the "unit". That's debatable in itself I know, but yes I thought it insightful.

I think there is probably a fair amount of truth to that.
And the beauty of an aspie woman is that she is not likely to follow the herd, but would rather develop her own opinions
Plus she probably doesn't know the herd's opinion cos she's always somehow out of the loop

Lol I'll keep that in mind.

Because it's not.



You're personal observations =/= "reality."



I mean that your conclusions about "shy women and groups" is limited and ill-informed.

You're right there. But that doesn't imply that an observation isn't useful or has no validity.



The point of my original was post was really only that I partly agreed and partly disagreed. They're opinions only and I'm not claiming to be an expert (I'm definately not) I'm just giving my view.

Is it really valid to tell autistic women what life is really like for autistic women when those same autistic women are saying, "No, that's not what it's like at all?"

Point Verdandi.

No, because nobody can tell someone else what their experience is

Women generally don't like me because I'm not positive enough and I enjoy debating. Generally, NT women hate conflict and most seem to be drawn to this concept of being positive even in the face of miserable circumstances, basically burying their emotions in order to be the bright, bubbly prototypical woman. I am too frank for most women to want to be around me, and even men find me unnerving at times. I was "shy" and "quiet" growing up, and it didn't get me friends. In fact, I was such a misfit that I ate alone at lunch a lot, or if I would sit with the other misfits, I knew that even they pitied me or didn't really feel that I belonged.
Also, I have never been in a "group" as you've defined it. I mix better with men -- I've almost always found myself standing around being the only woman among groups of men, talking about politics and religion, which are generally taboo issues for women. Women talk about frivolities like nail polish and clothes, or they gossip -- and when they gossip, they expect the other women they are talking to to affirm their ideas, so when I inevitably think of something that may contradict them and bring it up for discussion, they find some reason to sort of float away from me gradually until I get distracted by a potato bug or something and wander off by myself.

The thing that gets me is that people are still exaggerating the differences between men and women in all categories in 2013 and their saying that women have it easier because they're more able to find a man who will "cater" to them with their strong hands and muscles. I have strong hands and muscles myself, so I don't need a man to "cater" to me. Also, how about the masculine women who don't wish to get laid by a man or start a family with a man? Those who are stronger than a lot of men. I don't think that any gender has it easier than the other gender. I think that we all as individuals have it easy in some areas and hard in other areas and those areas are more likely to vary from person to person, than they are likely to vary from gender to gender. Men are generally stronger than women - true, though there are some women with high Testosterone who are stronger than many of the men that they know. I'm also not a delicate creature who needs to be catered to.

of course not all autism women,have an easy life.However there are
autism women,that do very well in life,have tons of friends,good relationships.
are they just more mild and better looking.

There are autistic men who do the same. What is your point?

you are correct,so are they just more mild and better looking.
does looks and being mild,does that play any part
in having an ''easier'' life.