Are You Female And Get Constant Unwelcomed Stalkers?

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http://www.aware.org/quizzes/quizstalking.shtml

Here is a quiz for you females if you think you use the word stalker in the right context...


edit: if people don't browse the site


Tools and Techiques
http://www.aware.org/toolsntechnqs.shtml#Brain

Last edited by logitechdog on 27 Jan 2007, 12:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Aargh, erm, sorry SeaBright, I didn't think that comment through in the light of the thread topic. Sorry about that. And as for being off topic, I'd like to make one more post to Biostructure, and then if he wants to continue the conversation he can PM me or we'll start another thread in the Love and dating section. I was just trying to help him out and wasn't meaning to muck up your thread. Sorry, the rules of online etiquette escape me still.

So on with the anti stalker tactics...

Hi Biostructure, I don't know if you saw my last post to SeaBright, but she doesn't think this conversation fits in this thread (and it is her thread), so if you want to continue, either PM me or we could start another one in the Love and Dating forum and get more people to join in. So far I've found it very interesting- I'd like to understand the male perspective on the topic. I hope some of what I've said has been useful to you.

Yes, some do, and in social places like pubs they're sometimes fairly easy to spot (provocative clothing etc), but in ordinary life if you can't gauge the signals a woman's giving as to whether she likes it or not, it's best to play it safe and not do it (well, at least be discrete... )



I read your other thread- I think what you're feeling is COMPLETELY typical of how most men (and women) feel quite a lot of the time. You want someone who's fun to be with, you want to see a different aspect of the world, you want a bit of sex. Nothing wrong with that- in Scotland (and I think elsewhere) we call it "sowing your wild oats". Due to societal pressures, men are allowed to be open about this, whilst I think a lot of women feel pressured into always pretending they're looking for "The One" when in fact all they want's some fun. I've known women who were open about it though, and I think this attitude is becoming more prevalent. You are 21- far too young to be worrying about anything long term (well, that's what I've been taught and it seems to be true for most people). You may find in a few years time you want commitment, or you may find you're more suited to an open or polyamorous relationship, but until then you can focus on the shagging. I wish everyone could be open like this about their relationship wishes- life would be so much easier!



Please don't worry about the aforementioned guy's behaviour. Unless your idea of socialising is to get as blind drunk as you possibly can whilst trying to ask out your chosen womans' breasts again and again and assuming that she WILL go out with you and that her refusals mean you've just not been persistant enough, you will never come across like that guy did. He didn't just do this to me, he did it to almost every girl in the society, which drove them nuts. The guys hated it too- they didn't want him driving away all the women!



There's appropriate and there's appropriate. There are a lot of subtle nuances that are easy to miss, and I know I screw up all the time (part of the reason I'm trying to get assessed for AS), but i think the key is respect. Some of the people who I socialise with can be extremely socially "innappropriate" (some of them are even worse than me), but they still treat me with respect so I don't care. If a girl knew a socially awkward guy and wanted to go out with him, then any attempt on his part to ask her out would succeed- she wouldn't see it as pathetic. Also, direct statements, delivered with confidence often do succeed, but you'll know yourself whether or not this sort of tactic is your style. And then there's always the "fancy a f**k" school of thought, that if you deliver that particular line to enough inebriated women, then one of them's likely to say yes. It does work, but it requires a lot of confidence and streetwise to avoid getting into trouble.



Got it in one, and if "I'm sorry but I'm just not interested/ looking for someone right now" (what I say in these situations) isn't clear enough, then I don't know what is (well, apart from something REALLY blunt). And you have to remember that women have it drummed into them that they shouldn't offend people- it's so difficult to gauge what the right thing to say is. This is one area I'd really like to get better at myself.



Yes, that's what I meant- sorry I wasn't too clear about it. I find pubs and clubs horrible places to find partners (I find it hard to get to know people in noisy places or when alcohol's involved) In a club or society everyone's there for a purpose- bingo! instant common ground. Also, depending on the club or society you choose, you may find people who don't fit into the mainstream, and these people tend to be a lot more accepting (in my experience) of people who are different from the norm. Unless your attitude is "die hippy/goth/whatever die!" they may find you interesting on the basis that you are different from them, but not just a carbon copy of everyone else.



I can sympathise with that. I knew people like that when I was doing my undergrad degree and they had a general propensity towards shallowness and bitchiness that I hate.



Thanks. As far as making friends (as opposed to relationships or sex partners), if you're in college I would say talk to people in your classes, at the dining hall/cafeteria, in dorms if you live there, etc. I've really had no trouble getting to know people that way. As soon as I would start talking to a few people, they would introduce me to their friends, and so on. Through a combination of this and the fact that I participated very actively in class, within a few months of being at college I had people I didn't even vaguely recognize come up to me and say hi to me by name (others are a lot better at remembering my name after hearing it just once or twice than I am at remembering theirs).[/quote]

I can keep a conversation going, but I often don't know when to break it off, of the best way to do so. I'm also crap with names. I do have a few people who I socialise with at lunchtimes (at the scifi soc) and at the moment I don't want to look for anyone else. My problems are more related to judging when to trust people and turn the aquaintanceship into a friendship. I've had a lot of bad experiences and have a hard time trusting anyone- I worry that I'm going to be singled out and bullied and get scared very easily.

Anyway, best be off, it's getting late

"ICE" all cool........

Really the part about 'backyard' wasn't really distrubing. I was attempting humor again.


and
if you must..

and

It doesn't matter, one turns into the other. Tools and techniques-work for rapists; they DO NOT cover home stalkers, work stalkers, school stalkers......umhmmph! ex'cuse me-harrasser stalkers--I've never had a stalker who wasn't first a harrasser. So what's the difference? Arrest. The rest is where they pretty much know the law well enough to STRRRRREEEEAAAAAACCCCTTTTHHHHH it as far and for as long as they can get away with. A game. Cat and Mouse. Domination. Just like Ticker said.

I'll go read your links now.

wow logitechdog, it says, "Don't hook up-Don't get murdered"


yep, I'm brilliant.


How very silly that you type like maybe your all of a bit offended -yet link us to absolutely exactly the kind of sh*t(care) we need from you guys curious...

You rate a 1/10 on the likelihood to stalk.

What on Earth is that? It looks kinda like a Lambchops puppet with a barbell in its mouth. It's coming through very dark on my screen.

This is just plain scary. What makes someone even think like the way to say something like that? Very disturbed. Was that a bus stop you were at daily or fairly often? I mean do you think he was casing you for some time learning your schedule and knowing where you went and if you traveled alone?

YEs! It IS Lambchops "Story that never ends..."

I thought the dark spot was strange....then again I haven't seen the show in 20 years.

About the guy,
I don't know, and I hadn't thought of it (!). Me, I know to take different routes; then again I don't like change.

I hadn't a car and was attending worker retraining/intern prior to schooling at the college. I must have stood at the same stop for at least a couple of weeks off and on. There weren't many other options. I didn't always take that stop though. The transit center was a few blocks the other way and more populated. That day I was late, though, or lazy, or stupid, or maybe not wanting to deal with the pick-up crowd at the larger stop.

I DO know that I have been mistaken for this other girl time and time again. People will be like "hi niece Kate! your birthday party was grrrrreat!" "hi Kate! that party last night was da bomb; lets hook up"..

I'd like to kill kate.

not kill. just meet, grab her by the shoulders and SHAKE her-whoever she is. It's funny, it did take some time convincing her aunt that I was not her. She was 12. I was 16 and serving drinks, ect. And the party goer on the street is where I found out when she graduated highschool, entered protistution or whatever, got a solid on her name. Enough people who seem to would frequent prostitutes illegally 'pretend' like they know me at first hello that I sometimes wonder. Rather, it makes me sometimes wonder if that girl is one.

I look forward to meeting her very very much.