What do you think it means if your therapist says he's not

Post Reply New Topic

Yeah, he's great. We talked about what he said and the bad timing of it. He explained his perspective and reasoning for saying what he said when he did and now I understand that he was just very confused and concerned and did not realize I was actually going to come out of this mode. He had never seen something like this before and he said that as he watched me come out of it myself he was so relieved. He did not understand at the time that this is something that I go through all the time and have since literal childhood. It's just a normal part of my life like every other. I explained to him how many of you guys on this forum also have your own versions of child modes which are very different than child like attitudes that NT's periodically enjoy. He said how he has his own child like moments as every one does but how for him and for what we imagine for most healthy and normal NT's these are just little fleeting fun moments. For me and I gather for many of you, from some of the threads where we have talked about this, it's not just fleeting fun moments every blue moon. It's part of how our brains function on a daily basis and we must allow ourselves to function in this way when we need to. Whether it's expressed by some of the toys we play with and how we play with them or in how we speak or perceive or process and understand things, for us who have this, it's a big part of our daily existence and daily functioning. So he is no longer concerned about it but is very intrigued and is now very interested in learning more about how it works for us. I really appreciate that.

I also told him about this thread and told him that I had to work this through with my peers, my Autistic friends who think like me and have similar experiences and can understand this from a perspective similar to mine. . He understood that as well and was glad I could do that.

Donald Trump's posts seem to have disappeared as quickly as they appeared. I guess that speaks for itself.

Skibum I'm so glad you two are working it out.

Thank you all for all your encouragement. It's so great when we take the time to understand one another.

Marybird, I think what you shared is really fascinating. I go in and out from one to the other, adult to child. They never show fully at the same time although glimpses of one can show while I am in the mode of the other. I think it is really interesting how you are predominantly child and how you spend all your time in that mode. Do you find that people get upset with you for it? Do they expect you to be different and more adult? I find that most people cannot accept my child mode because it is too foreign for them so I have to hide it most of the time. How do others treat you because of yours and how does that affect you? I get very exhausted when I have to be constantly presenting in adult mode. It's good for me to be in adult mode sometimes but if my child mode never gets any time then that is really hard and I have to take time out to be by myself or to be with my brother who accepts that part of me so that I can be in that mode and stay balanced.

But growing up I always had to hide that part of me because people have a very difficult time accepting it and would always reprimand me or challenge me on it.

I have no advice and I'm glad you're working it.

The child side thing you said makes so much sense. I always wondered why I had little child like hissy fits then a voice would kick in and talk through it and all would usually be fine, or I'd get random explosions of child like excitedness, like something that would just pop up and yell I'm here and then do jazz hands (obviously not literally but that is like the perfect image). Mine usually pops up where ever and whenever it likes, often it's around half of the time and often more.

I think because of not knowing how to relate to people, I have come across as childlike, especially in the past.
People have called me shy, timid, pathetic, not playing with a full deck, stupid.
I have over the years become better at interacting with people, but I seldom interact with people besides family.

I can relate to the child thing too. I think my understanding of society is on the level of a small child. I just don't understand people - their motives, their behavior, why everything has to be so complicated and confusing.

I am shy and timid too, which annoys some people. But then when I try to hide it and act confident, I inevitably do or say something wrong, and I'm told I should have known better, and there's no excuse for me. So I guess I'm better off just acting timid and uncertain and apologetic from the start, like a dog who expects to get beaten, but isn't sure why.

I started failing in life around age 10, when social expectations and scheduling demands became more complicated than I could handle. I just didn't 'grow into' the ability to handle increased expectations, the way most people do. I can cope with the amount of pressure and responsibility you would put on a 5-year-old child, but no more than that.

Anyway, I'm glad your therapist is helping you with these issues - I'm considering getting back into counseling as well!

I'm often emotionally overwhelmed and unable to think at all, it's trauma related and it happens when people make me mad. HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THAT FEELING? Shouting because if I found a way out of this black hole, I would die of happiness.