Sorry I have to ask this

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Then I don't get it. I have invited people not autistic to join WP, because I felt they could still relate. And I mean NT people, not someone I decided was or not autistic. I speculate that my grandpa might have autism.

I do however take umbrage with people who show up here and there on the internet, with completely unrealistic descriptions of autism. Who sugarcoat it to death and go on about what a pretty precious pony of a gift it is and such stuff I consider to be absolute rubbish.

There is no one on WP I know of who fits that description, except for the occasional short lived noob who's most likely a troll.

I think you're right about this.

There are some people who exhibit a certain "snobbery." Some of these people are in the Aspergian category.

They should be criticized for their belief in their superiority. And for not taking into account the experience of other people with autism who are not so "superior."

I think that some people sugar-coat it to make themselves feel better because most people do not want to be weird or defective.

What really bugs me is when I hear how autism is the next step in evolution. If that were true, then how come many autistics don't have children because they know they won't be able to take care of the child? If evolution is descent with modification, then doesn't that defeat the whole purpose?

They just sound like they're on some kind of hallucinogenic drug to me.

Oh and I wanted to say that I know of many who have considerably more sever autism than me. My autism is a walk in the park compared to theirs.

When I was growing up, the only type of autism anybody talked about was the classic Kanner syndrome, where people were very severely affected. Indeed, the only autistic people I saw growing up were children and adults who were severely withdrawn and had very low I.Q.s. Asperger syndrome wasn't a diagnosis used when I was growing up. People just thought I was weird.

I was a person who had the symptoms of classic autism until the age of 5 1/2.

When I started speaking at age 5 1/2, I started to exhibit Aspergian-type symptoms.

Such a person is exhibited in a book known as "Elijah's Cup."

The person is not myself.

I'm about to leave the house so I don't have time to contribute to the original discussion again, otherwise I would.

I just wanted to quickly agree that EzraS is 15 and we all need to remember that. It can be easy to forget here on the Internet and treat everyone the same, but obviously a person in their 50s is going to be more mature and have more knowledge than younger people, and obviously a teenager is going to be spicy.

I'm 16 and half I'll ave you know, sheesh. Spicy huh? I like that

I agree, and would add that the OP's self-confessed memory problems and difficulty in reading long entries perhaps makes the difference between genuine ignorance vs. intentional trolling, in his repeated questions on this issue.

He seems to simply not realize that he's asked this question many times before, and in every case it has resulted in hurt feelings, misunderstandings, divisiveness, and drama. To instigate such drama intentionally would constitute trolling, but I'm willing to give Ezra the benefit of the doubt, that he simply does not remember, nor is he able to understand long posts, and the rest of us need to be aware of his pattern, and not 'take the bait' when he asks such questions.

It's not my fault if four of five people decide to take offence because they jump to the wrong conclusion, and refuse to see things any other way. So I'm with you, I'd really rather they not fly off the handle and completely derail a thread with what you so aptly described as needlessly hurt feelings, misunderstandings, divisiveness, and drama, due to their inability to understand posts.

Last edited by EzraS on 28 Dec 2016, 11:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

Is there any chance of getting back to the matter at hand?

Masking/passing can be exhausting and incredibly stressful. For me, it has sort of been like when someone stands in front of the class reciting a poem or something. Constantly repeating the steps to myself while trying to maintain a sense of normalcy on the surface and also keeping track of conversations. Plus dealing with whatever else happens to be running through my mind at the time.

It makes it easier then in a 1 to 1 situation as there are fewer details/voices to pay attention to.

Afterwards, I'm often a complete mess. As though I have to pay back some kind of thought deficit/overdraft.

Not for those incapable or unwilling to understand the matter at hand.



Is masking a defense mechanism? Like adapt to survive?

In a sense, for me as someone who received a late diagnosis, it was just how it always was and I figured to some extent it's like that for everyone. Turns out, that's not the case at all.

I just grew up thinking that is what normal should feel like and that all the other stuff I have experienced should just be kept under wraps as passing for really quite eccentric is hard enough without the associated difficulties with being in the world.

Society always seemed to me to be a bunch of people in a room struggling to keep their masks from slipping and maybe it still is to some extent. I just now know my experience and difficulties are not shared by most people.

Fair enough - and back on topic, can you see how 'flying off the handle' and being a 'crybaby' is dysfunctional behavior, indicating a serious disorder that would severely interfere with a person's ability to function in life? That such a person is NOT in fact 'normal', and needs support and compassion, rather than to have her struggles dismissed simply because her symptoms and challenges are different from yours?

Autism is a spectrum of many, many different symptoms, and no two autistics are exactly alike. Some symptoms are visible to casual observers, and others aren't. You asked how parents could not know that their child has autism - and my own answer is that Asperger's didn't exist when I was a child, so how could my parents possibly know that I had it?

They did know that I was shy, different, weird, smart but socially inept, constantly 'sick' in a way I couldn't describe (which in retrospect was a myriad of severe sensory issues). These are all red-flag Asperger symptoms, but I grew up in a world where Asperger's was not yet identified, so I was simply shy, weak, pathetic, and a 'liar' who claimed to feel sick all the time, but medical tests couldn't find anything physically wrong with me.

I hope that you can in fact comprehend what I've said here, and that this discussion can move forward in a productive manner, with a genuine effort to understand each other's viewpoints and experiences.

Google is your friend. I just had to google it myself because I also didn't know what it meant.

Do you find it easier to adapt now that you have a better understanding of what makes you different? Have you changed the way you do that since then?