Are people with autism borderline sociopaths?

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In reality, I had begged her to learn more about autism because she was always getting angry with me when I wasn't disguising all of my autistic behavior. When she met Alex, she realized that I was, well, an Aspie. I think she thought it was a very minor diagnosis. Anyway, it didn't click with her until she met someone else with AS.

From that point on it was very evident that she was completely disgusted with me and she made a big, public show of it. I was ashamed, and embarrassed and very, very angry.

> Why will an aspie go into meltdown upon being told things?
> A thing is either true or it's not. You can't say anything to change that.
> Aspies are rational so they can see that the world is as it is, regardless of how it's said to be.

OK, here's the deal. I'm overwhelmingly aspie. I also have ADD(-PI). I'm still trying to figure out where the boundary lies, if there's even a meaningful boundary at all. Maybe that makes a difference compared to "pure" autism, maybe it doesn't, maybe it's just a difference of magnitude. But I (and I strongly suspect, Tambourine Man) get really upset by some things, regardless of how objectively irrational the reaction might be.

I might come across like Spock to someone who's NT, but it's mostly because I've been so egregiously wrong interpreting the emotions of others and trying to think of the right thing to say on so many occasions, I've learned to just dig a moat, pull up the drawbridge, and try to avoid doing it at all because it's a safer strategy from the goal of not leaving a trail of angry, insulted people in my wake who can't understand how I could just get bored of them, or be too stressed out by life in general to even contemplate anything that looks like a "real" relationship.

I like Tambourine Man's way of qualifying "acting" and can totally relate to it -- when I'm upset, I'm acting, but I'm not acting upset... I'm pretending to not be livid, and actively biting my tongue because I have enough methylphenidate or amphetamine in my bloodstream to keep me aware that I'm likely to regret totally letting go and unleashing whatever I really want to say to them. So I go to the bathroom and throw a silent tantrum, or get mad and just leave (and throw a loud, vocal tantrum at nobody in particular once I'm safely anonymous on the freeway and nobody can hear me).

I like Tambourine Man's way of qualifying "acting" and can totally relate to it -- when I'm upset, I'm acting, but I'm not acting upset... I'm pretending to not be livid, and actively biting my tongue because I have enough methylphenidate or amphetamine in my bloodstream to keep me aware that I'm likely to regret totally letting go and unleashing whatever I really want to say to them. So I go to the bathroom and throw a silent tantrum, or get mad and just leave (and throw a loud, vocal tantrum at nobody in particular once I'm safely anonymous on the freeway and nobody can hear me).

Why will an aspie go into meltdown upon being told things? A thing is either true or it's not. You can't say anything to change that. Aspies are rational so they can see that the world is as it is, regardless of how it's said to be. Of course 'sociopath' is a loaded term, that's why I was using it. I found TM's reaction to it - which is at least partly acting - to be fascinating and worthy of further study.

Straw poll: who prefers the company of sociopaths to NTs (say, the NTs you've known, as they're quite diverse)? The lesson here is surely not to judge.

I was with a sociopath for a long time as well, edie. It's hard to get out even if you want to. Took me 3 years of actively fighting to get out and constantly losing, so I understand the preference to stay.

Really, is being a sociopath any "worse" than having AS, bipolar or OCD? Does a sociopath choose to be that way? I think not.

I used to worry about a friend that worked with a severe sociopath, and she was fine with it. She was emotionally strong, and knew not to let him take control of anything, ever (she was his boss so that helped). She would drive him to the job site, decide what they were doing next, etc. They got along just fine, and nothing bad ever happened to the lady.

Okay, but can you and/or Tambourine Man understand that as strangers on the internet, I don't care how you feel. Your emotional reactions are your own problem and no one else's.

I'm exactly the same in person. If you were fake in person I'd call you out on it in a heartbeat.

Actually, that is very helpful. I'd much rather be spoiled and selfish than a sociopath. Spoiled and selfish I can deal with.

I have often put my public life on display. We were still talking to each other and trying to work things out when Part I was published. She told me that she didn't like where I was going with the article, and didn't want me to give it a happy ending when it clearly did not have one. She wanted me to include the breakup, but exclude all the mean things we said. I did.

She was upset, and never would have been happy with the article. I had several people, including my therapist, approve the article and say it was very balanced.

I'm proud of the article, but I was so upset that Kat didn't like it, because I tried really hard to make the best out of the situation. I wanted to include all the horrible details, but I didn't.

Can't you see that when someone is willing to open up about their private life, even when it is very painful, in the hopes that others can learn from their struggles, that it is very, very hurtful to be accused of faking your emotions?

Stop acting then. You're with people who are like you.

This is the BIG problem I have with online forums. People hide behind anonymity, and forget that there are real people, with real feelings on the other side of cyberspace.

Because I write for many well known places, including Wrong Planet, I am not anonymous. This leaves me very open and vulnerable.

I really don't like online anonymity, because anyone can say any hurtful thing they want and never have to be held accountable for it. If I slip up in the heat of the moment and say something mean, because I'm hurt, it impacts my career.

Your statement here is very insensitive. I think that anyone who wishes to criticize someone else's personal life in a public forum should be courageous enough not to hide behind an anonymous mask. It isn't cool.

"I'm not acting."

"Yes, it was partly acting; I was underplaying how pissed I was that you said that."

I don't know why you seem fake. That's why I've been trying to find out. To me it just looks like acting; the reasons for it could be anything.