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How do you feel about "invisible" autistics?

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paradox_puree
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01 Aug 2016, 5:31 pm

ArielsSong wrote:
I just can't understand why there would be times when you are telling people that you're autistic, unless you are seeking some kind of accommodation for it?


Social media, maybe? Like putting it in your bio, or on a dating profile, or whatever?e



ArielsSong
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01 Aug 2016, 5:37 pm

paradox_puree wrote:
ArielsSong wrote:
I just can't understand why there would be times when you are telling people that you're autistic, unless you are seeking some kind of accommodation for it?


Social media, maybe? Like putting it in your bio, or on a dating profile, or whatever?e


Ah, true! Had not considered that.

I just had visions of someone greeting casual acquaintances and launching into a load of random facts about themselves. :lol:

"Hi, I'm ____. I have two dogs, I have autism and suffer from occasional migraines, I like pasta and I drive a sports car".



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01 Aug 2016, 6:36 pm

ArielsSong wrote:
ZenDen wrote:
ArielsSong wrote:
Forester wrote:
My wife on the other hand needed that diagnosis to feel certain I was autistic. Feel being the operative word, though she would probably say she now 'knows' I am autistic.


This is it. You can know the truth of your situation, but other people can't. People are not trusted to know themselves from an objective viewpoint.

Other people will need you to have that formal diagnosis to be convinced that you actually are autistic (though, those that know you very well will need much less convincing).

And this goes back to my point about saying that you're autistic whilst not being formally diagnosed. I fail to see how this is a positive thing because I can't imagine that people would take you seriously for saying it - unless you had a long time to go into your reasons for self-diagnosis.

There is nothing stopping me from telling companies that I need accommodations because I'm autistic, but it feels wrong for me to do that without the diagnosis. I feel that I would not be believed and would be considered to be being 'difficult' or making their jobs harder. Of course, if I say the same thing this time next week and I'm formally diagnosed, I suppose the same companies would still think the same things - they wouldn't know on either occasion whether I had actually been diagnosed.


Hi ArielsSong,

You said: "This is it. You can know the truth of your situation, but other people can't. People are not trusted to know themselves from an objective viewpoint." This would be your interpretation, others may feel differently. Do not assume everyone thinks this way.

When I've spoken with people no one asked me if a professional made the diagnosis......perhaps if I was looking for some type of accommodation, then I might feel the need for a formal diagnosis. But otherwise??? I think most people just mind their own business and aren't interested.

Please remember I spent my life running head-on into the social walls others, and you yourself, struggle with every day. But since there were no "accommodations" then, you were just expected to do the best you could or leave; so the concept of using a disability to gain an advantage or assistance is totally foreign to me. Everyone is not like you.


Your situation sounds the same as mine, actually. However, I just can't understand why there would be times when you are telling people that you're autistic, unless you are seeking some kind of accommodation for it? I don't tend to go around telling people about the specific details of who I am, so I'm simply confused how this could come up in conversation without being 'for a reason'. If these people, such as yourself, are not looking for some type of accommodation (and therefore don't feel that they need a formal diagnosis, which is a totally valid and understandable perspective), why are they announcing autism at all to people that presumably are outside of their immediate family/friendship groups?


You said: "....outside of their immediate family/friendship groups...."

But I didn't say that...in fact some of the people I mentioned it to were old coworkers.

It's come up in a couple of conversations with my doctors....No, I don't walk around with a sign. :D

And online (not this forum) it's come up in the course of similar conversations.

Are you less "confused" (I hope)? Please ask anything that might help resolve your quandary.



ZenDen
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01 Aug 2016, 6:44 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
There's a guy here who recently wrote a book about his life. I don't remember his screen name offhand---but his avatar has a moose within it. One of his great "special interests" happens to be film photography (i.e., pre-digital photography).

I remember how much a big deal the Polaroid Swinger was in 1967. I think my parents got it as a gift from someone else. I wrote something on the instruction manual; I could barely write even when I was just about to turn 7.


I used to use Polaroid film to check out lighting on my larger cameras. And they used to make (still do?) a P/N or positive/negative film (black and white only) so you'd get your large Polaroid print and a full sized negative...pretty fine grained too.

How time flies.



ArielsSong
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02 Aug 2016, 1:39 am

ZenDen wrote:
Are you less "confused" (I hope)? Please ask anything that might help resolve your quandary.


No less confused, no. However, I sense an arrogant and condescending tone so I'll end the conversation here, as I'm certainly not one to get into that sort of thing and don't want to derail the thread.

I will say, as a closing point, that my perspective has been changed somewhat. When I first came into this thread I had thought that it was about 'people like me' specifically, but I now realise that there is potentially a whole other layer of 'invisible autistics' beyond how I considered myself, so that is interesting and has opened my eyes a little.



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02 Aug 2016, 4:20 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
It's obvious that I'm weird; it's not so obvious that I'm autistic.

People tend not to like me, until they get to know me.



Hey I liked you instantly 8)



kraftiekortie
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02 Aug 2016, 5:47 am

Same here! :D



auntblabby
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02 Aug 2016, 6:00 am

outside of my aspie group, and outside of my niece's BF, no young people "get" me. I am basically an invisible oddity on the periphery of their consciousness.



kraftiekortie
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02 Aug 2016, 7:26 am

I think people of our age, who are of a "hippie" sort of disposition, would probably relate to you well.



ZenDen
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02 Aug 2016, 11:39 am

ArielsSong wrote:
ZenDen wrote:
Are you less "confused" (I hope)? Please ask anything that might help resolve your quandary.


No less confused, no. However, I sense an arrogant and condescending tone so I'll end the conversation here, as I'm certainly not one to get into that sort of thing and don't want to derail the thread.

I will say, as a closing point, that my perspective has been changed somewhat. When I first came into this thread I had thought that it was about 'people like me' specifically, but I now realise that there is potentially a whole other layer of 'invisible autistics' beyond how I considered myself, so that is interesting and has opened my eyes a little.


You said: No less confused, no. However, I sense an arrogant and condescending tone so I'll end the conversation here, as I'm certainly not one to get into that sort of thing and don't want to derail the thread.

The tone you sense is probably just frustration in attempting to explain that people are different. Not everyone thinks the way you do. When you want to exclude, limit, or control others because of your own selfishness (and that's what it is) , then this is called discrimination. What's so "confusing" about that??? If you can understand this then why do you still argue?

And then you said: I will say, as a closing point, that my perspective has been changed somewhat. When I first came into this thread I had thought that it was about 'people like me' specifically, but I now realise that there is potentially a whole other layer of 'invisible autistics' beyond how I considered myself, so that is interesting and has opened my eyes a little.

Aha. I'm happy you are beginning to see people differently. Now if you just extend that thought you'll see everyone should not be labeled and scorned because they are different....I'm sure we can all relate to this, and we definitely don't need more, especially from others also on the spectrum.. It's a simple thought to live by...and we can all agree with the principles...but it's easy to forget in today's 100 mile per hour, contentious society.



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02 Aug 2016, 11:42 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I think people of our age, who are of a "hippie" sort of disposition, would probably relate to you well.


I do, for sure. You remind me of many people (even myself somewhat :D ).



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02 Aug 2016, 2:25 pm

i'm one of those "invisible" autists. i wasn't always invisible, and that's why i was diagnosed at a young age, but as i became older i learned how to work with what i've got to suffer through and get out alive, basically. by the time i was in my mid-to-late teens i didn't seem to need any support from teachers and admins even though they were aware i was autistic. i was in advanced placement classes, i was quiet, i was subtle, i participated in certain extracurricular activities, i even had some NT friends. but walking to class in a mess of hundreds of kids pushing and yelling? comprehending assignments given verbally? reading something out loud for the class? working with a lab partner? etc. i didn't feel welcome asking for help because i didn't need to be a burden. i obviously didn't struggle like most of my autistic peers, and i even didn't seem to struggle as much as my "high functioning" peers who didn't seem to need assistance with education like me because at least the ones who i knew about had obvious behavioral issues which required extra attention. but every day was an internal struggle and i don't think it's fair to dismiss that just because i seem to struggle less, and probably do compared to a lot of people. the fear that i would come off as too needy and unreasonable stopped me from asking my school counselor for help instead of saying everything was fine, or going up to my teachers and asking them to try to accommodate for my disabilities. that's what speaking up about being autistic when you're invisible means to me...not necessarily shouting it out for just anyone to know. just not being afraid to be honest or ask for help.

i wish more invisible autists were brave enough to admit their disabilities because so many people really do have a shallow concept of what autism is, and it hurts all of us. some of us may need less support than others, but that shouldn't be grounds to invalidate them. NTs do that enough already, can't we at least be more understanding?