You Might be an Aspie if...

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(you might be AS if--you really wish you know what "bored" felt like.

1 If you have a fear that correcting your small social stigmas may induse irreversable catatonia.
2 If your existing social life is based on formula and a constantly evolving theory.
3 If you cause grown men to regress into their days of bullying.
4 if you can find solid reason and convince others that social interaction is the root of all evil.
5 if you not only memorise trivia cards but the order that they origionaly came in
6 If your a certified genius level IQ but you live in poverty and you think your biggest problem is asking the landlady to come fix your kitchen sink.

(you obsess endlessly about who you might have offended and why... but you think the latest _______ joke you heard should be shared with all. (refuse to fill in the blank. i know this is a sticky.)

you've been to this thread twice in more than an hour because it seems like the thing to do.)

You might be an Aspie if...you've finished all of your classwork and homework and there is still half of your Algebra class left, so you go on to the higher level chapters and teach yourself the lessons for fun and the teacher get's mad at you.

You might be an Aspie if...it makes your ears cringe every time someone says something like, 'I ain't got no money.'

You also maybe an Aspie if you correct that same person and say that, 'I ain't got no money.' is incorrect and that the correct wording for that sentence would be, 'I do not have any money.' and you are confused at why they would be upset with you.

You might be an Aspie if you spend half an hour going through your food trying to get all of the tomatoes and onions out because you can't stand the texture of those foods in your mouth.

You might be an Aspie if you have made an attempt to memorize the periodic table of elements or the dictionary and succeeded. (I haven't done that last part...yet at least.)

You might be an Aspie if someone says that they are going to the Hill and you look around for the mountain when they really meant that they were going to Capital Hill. (my dad actually made this one up...kind of)

You might be an Aspie if you would rather talk to your cat than your friend that just called.

You might be an Aspie if you just learned a new song and every time that songs comes on the radio, you ignore whoever is talking to you at the moment and play along with the music on an imaginary version of whatever instrument you learned it on.

You might be an Aspie if everyone runs away from a large, flying wasp and you sit down and stare at it because you are amazed at the bright pattern on its abdomen and its ability to fly.

YMBAA if...
when playing along with jeopardy at home you do better during regular jeopardy than during kids week.

you're waiting for the day when a cop stops you for being drunk in public because you can't walk in a straight line when you're stone-cold sober.

your sister's ___ state college alumni sticker PISSES YOU OFF because you know that "alumni" is the male plural and that the sticker should say alumna.

you and your sister agree to disagree about whether staying at home for a whole day is fun or not.

What if you only watch shows like American Idol and America's got talent for the auditions, because an hour of watching people act like complete idiots is very stimulating?

haha so true. I don''t think I would have survived my high school years if I hadn't begged my art teacher to keep the art room open during recess.

I did go to my senior prom, although I told an old childhood friend.

I was a nerd who hated computers and despised science, therefore I never got along with the other geeky kids

I am doing a bakery apprenticeship now, and I am glad i am still glad i don't like computers or science lol

You might be an aspie if:

You played 'Yellow Submarine' on your phonograph (it was 1972!) so many time you wore out the grooves on the record... and you still play it on your MP3 player.

Your very best friends all had four legs and we not necessarily all mammals.

You were obsessed with carrying earthworms around and genuinely upset when they dried out and died.

You could answer your older sibling's maths questions before you were out of nappies.

You older sibiling paid you to do his/her homework and you thought it was an easy way to earn extra pocket money.

You were the first person who was called to the computer science room with the hard disk system failed even though you'd never taken a computer class.

You used a study period to teach your physics teacher how to make a motor out of wire, nails, and styrofoam so he could teach the class to do it.

You happily watch the same DVD at least a dozen times before you get bored and change to another one you've watched at least 60 times.

You cannot leave the house unless your socks match your shoes, top, and trousers, all the windows are shut, the shower taps are off, and the kettle and toaster are both turned off at the wall.

You can go to someone's house, sit in a chair, drink a cup of tea, say nothing the entire time, leave, and then tell people you had a very nice time (I had a relative who was famous for this and I confess to having done it more than a few times myself).

You spent more of your play time in the library than on the playground and you knew the order of the books on the shelves so well that you had to arrange them properly before you could choose one to read... and it was never fiction.

You obsessively read the back of the cereal box and the milk carton at breakfast, the back the antiperspirant can while you sat on the loo, the back of the toothpaste tube while you brushed, and then read the sign above the fire extinguisher on the bus on the way to work.

You honestly believe that you could exist happily inside a spreadsheet and believe that some of your spreadsheets are 'friendly' places to be.

You laugh when you watch a movie in the cinema just because everyone else did, but you don't know why they did.

You have read all of this and don't think I'm a raving lunatic.

You might be an aspie if...

... your first boyfriend (now ex) gave you flowers on your 14th birthday and you reacted like, huh, what am I supposed to do with those, I'm not interested in botany? (Fortunately, he thought it was cute.)

What's up with this giving each other the cut off, dying genitalia of plants anyway?

I much rather get a living plant (or a cat)